Show versus Tell

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Show versus Tell
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Show versus Tell

• Please shut your eyes while I read this sentence
  to you
• Mavis was angry when she heard what the umpire
  said.
• What does that look like?

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Show versus Tell

• Please shut your eyes again and listen to this
  sentence
• Shaking her head back and forth, Mavis pounded
  home plate with her fist after the umpire
  shouted, Youre out!
• Now what picture do you have in your head?

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Strategies

• Strategies writers use to SHOW what is happening
  include
• describing the characters actions rather than
  just saying how he or she feels
• using action verbs
• using precise nouns and active verbs with strong
  modifiers (adjectives, adverbs, phrases and
  clauses)
• using similes, metaphors and personification
• using dialogue
• appealing to some of the five senses to paint a
  picture of what is happening

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Word Choice

• The difference between any word and the right
  word is the difference between the lightning bug
  and the lightning.
• - Mark Twain
• The exact word means that you convey precisely
  what you, the writer, want the reader to see and
  you do it in a way that is fresh, clean, concise,
  and accurate. Why choose the word crimson over
  red ? Why furious over angry? Is your cat orange
  or is he pumpkin-colored? Did the wind blow or
  did it slap? Did the river run or roar?

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Turning the abstract to concrete
Telling This is really generalized language
this is the writer telling me what a sick woman
is. I cant see this image. I cant visualize
lively or symptoms of illness or her not
herself. Showing Now this is a specific sick
woman. Now I can see her. I can start to
understand her specific illness. And remember,
you can alter the details to convey a specific
kind of sick perhaps shes vomiting maybe her
face is red with fever. Those are the kinds of
details that make the writing stand out.
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Which is better?

• Papers overflowed my cramped desk as I rummaged
  for the pencil I knew was buried somewhere
  inside its dark depths.
• My desk is a mess.

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Which is better?

• I am cold.
• My teeth chattered as I blew warm breath on my
  numb fingers.

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Which is better?

• The broken windows and creaking hinges made me
  tremble as I slowly crossed the shadowed yard
  towards the dilapidated house.
• I was scared as I walked towards the haunted
  house.

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Practice

• Tell - The mall is crowded in December.
• I live on a very busy street.

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Revisions

• In revision, test yourself based on these Showing
  vs. Telling principles
• Can I close my eyes and see what Im trying to
  convey?
• Check those words Can they be more fresh and
  vivid? Are they too general can they be more
  specific and particular?

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Sources

• www.vanderbilt.edu/hpao/.../Show20don't20tell20
  AMCAS.ppt
• www.mce.k12tn.net/english/Show,20Don't20Tell.ppt
  
• www.misscantillon.com/Class20Notes/show,don'ttell
  .ppt