Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

1

• Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

2
Jennifer L. Baker, Psy.D. Anne B. Summers, Ph.D.
Debbi Steinmann, M.A. Training Instructor /
MentorsMelissa A. Gibson, M.S. Kim Rozell, M.A.
Graduate AssistantsBrent Anderson,
M.S.Matthew Biller, M.A. Cate Brandon,
M.A.Tabitha Carlson, M.S.Dawn Clinard, M.A.
Jessie Clinton, M.S. Anup JonathanTony Larson,
B.A.Nicole Mannis, M.A.Robert Mindrup,
M.S.S.W.Colleen Quinn, Ph.D. Amber Schafner,
M.A. Amanda Schroeder, B.S.

• The Training for the Healthy Marriage and Family
  Formation curriculum was created through the
  cooperative efforts of

3
Who are the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren?

• Biological grandparents
• Step-grandparent family
• Single biological grandparent
• Unrelated persons

4
Grandparents Raising Grandchildren National
Statistics

• 4.5 million children are living in
  grandparent-headed households.
• 1.5 million children in the U.S. are living in
  homes headed by other relatives.

5
Grandparents Raising Grandchildren in Missouri

• 77, 857 children are living in grandparent-headed
  households (5.5 of all the children in the
  state).
• 18,555 children are living in households headed
  by other relatives (1.3 of all the children in
  the state).

6
Local Statistics

• To access statistics, log on to
  http//factfinder.census.gov
• Additional data on grandparents and grandchildren
  is available at
• http//www.aecf.org/kidscount/

7
Factors Unique to Custodial Grandparents

• Grandparents have a parental role with both their
  own children and with the grandchildren.
• A biological parent may or may not be in the
  home.
• The grandparents become parents because of the
  emotional and/or physical loss of one or both
  biological parents.
• The grandparent/grandchild relationship may or
  may not consist of a legal relationship.

8
Reasons Parents Cannot Provide Care

• Divorce
• Substance abuse
• Teenage parenthood
• Family violence
• Child abuse and neglect
• Parental military service
• Poverty

• Mental health issues
• Financial difficulties
• Physical health issues
• Crime incarceration
• Terminal illness or death
• Rapid rise of single parent households
• Parental abandonment

9
A Grandparents Adjustment

• Possible reactions include
• Anger resentment
• Disappointment
• Sadness for the grandchildren
• Feeling isolated from friends
• Depression

10
Challenges

• Change in expectations
• Usually an unplanned parenthood
• Change in social roles/social groups
• Lack of social support
• Financial issues
• Housing concerns

11
Challenges

• Emotional issues depression
• Generational differences
• Uncertainty about how to help their children
  grandchildren
• Resentment from other children grandchildren

12
Challenges

• Physical and emotional exhaustion
• Increased health problems
• Legal relationship with grandchildren
• Dual relationships with their children and
  grandchildren
• Interference with marital relationship

13
Issues for Healthy Marriage as Grandparents Raise
Grandchildren

• Spouses do not always agree on how to handle
  their situation.
• Conflict between grandparents, their adult
  children, and the grandchildren can be especially
  difficult.
• Guilt and blame associated with the question,
  Why were we not able to raise our child(ren)
  successfully?
• One of the grandparents may be a step-grandparent
  and have little investment in raising
  step-grandchildren.

14
Unexpected Strains on Marriage

• How to raise children
• Jealousy
• Marital conflicts regarding setting limits
• Barriers to privacy and sexual intimacy

• Financial, physical and emotional strains
• Readjusting priorities
• Decreased time for oneself and spouse
• Disruption in relationships with other children,
  extended family members, and friends

15
Strengths Grandparents Bring to Their
Grandchildren

• Accumulated wisdom from living experiences
• Maturity
• Family history and roots
• An attachment figure for the grandchildren
• Positive identity and family continuity
• Communication of unconditional love
• A sense of security

16
Potential Rewards for Grandparents

• An unexpected source of purpose and meaning.
• Seeing the grandchild(ren) grow and develop.
• Participating in the grandchild(ren)s
  activities.
• Being the recipient of the grandchild(ren)s
  love.
• Increased influence over the fate of
  grandchildren.
• Having a second chance to be a parent.
• Being involved in community activities related to
  children.

17
Potential Rewards for Grandparents

• Observing and sharing in the different
  perspectives that children bring to
  relationships.
• Sharing in the laughter and humor of their
  grandchildren.
• Rejoicing in the optimism of children.

18
Potential Rewards for Grandparents

• An opportunity to experience self-renewal through
  grandchildren.
• Seeing grandchildren develop self-confidence,
  self-identity, self-respect, and self-esteem.
• Adding new social networks to their lives.

19
What May Help Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

• Educational Support Services
• Emotional Support Services
• Support from School Districts or Head Start
• Financial Support Services

20
What May Help Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

• Legal Advocacy Service
• Housing Support Service
• Public Awareness Campaign
• Routine monitoring of their physical and
  psychological well-being by professionals

21
Maintaining a Healthy Marriage While Raising
Grandchildren

• Keep communication channels open by talking to
  each other often.
• Create special and protected time together.
• Create time-outs for each other.
• Present a united front to your grandchildren and
  adult children.
• Keep issues in perspective by maintaining a sense
  of humor.

22
Coping Skills for Grandparents

• Listen to your other grown children.
• Dont forget about your other grandchildren.
• Consider instituting family meetings.
• Consider counseling.
• Find emotional support.
• Make your own decisions.

23
Websites

• Foundation for Grandparenting
• http//www.grandparenting.org
• Grandparents and More
• http//www.grandparentsandmore.com
• Grandparents Resource Center
• http//grc4usa.org
• Grandparents Raising Grandchildren and Grief
• http//parentingtoolbox.com/gp.html

24
American Association for Retired Persons
http//www.aarp.orgAARP also publishes GIC Voice
Newsletter, a free quarterly newsletter for
grandparents who are raising grandchildren. To
subscribe go tohttp//www.giclocalsupport.org/p
ages/gic_newsletter_subscribe.cfm

• Websites

25
Questions