Nurturing the Development of Young

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Nurturing the Development of Young Children
with Developmental Disabilities From Birth
to Age 5 by Tom Pomeranz, Ed.D.
We learn what we live.
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Peoples Care Autism Services Nurturing the
Development of Young Children
with Autism and other
Developmental Disabilities
by
Thomas Pomeranz, Ed.D.
January 24, 2015
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It Takes More
When I hear a parent say I so deeply love
my children, my first thought is
your love is not enough!
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Its Not A Magical Process...
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Its a Struggle
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THIS IS MORE ABOUT US THAN THEM
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Good Intentions
We are good and caring parents!
We are not
malevolent mean spirited vitriolic vindictive
When we are not supportive in helping our
children in getting a life, it may be caused by
our
IGNORANCE
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Wishes

• Treat children not as they are, but how they wish
  to be.
• Speak to those who do
• not talk
• Smile at those with flat
• affect
• Engage the eyes of those
• who look away
• Support participation in
• those who are idle
• Nurture sense of self in
• those who lack self esteem

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Possible Explanations

• There are three possible explanations as to why
  children engage in interfering behavior
• Ineffective parenting
• Diagnosable condition
• (e.g. autism, FAS, TBI)
• 3. The child is EVIL
• It is my professional
• opinion that only 1 or 2
• of the above are the
• cause!

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More Than Luck
A well behaved child is not the result of luck.
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Parenting Motto
I am not going to tell you again, you
need to stay out of the way!
The foundation for effective parenting is
Yes is Yes and No is No This
builds a parent-child relationship of TRUST!
That means hell tell me at least two
more times.
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Trigger Words
Honey, you cant have candy now.
Mommy, I want candy.
I said, no candy now dear.
Please, please can I have candy?
No! I am not telling you again! No candy!
I want candy!
Candy, candy, candy!!!
No candy, no candy, no candy!!!
Stop with the trigger word! Intelligently
redirect.
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If You Make It a Struggle
...we all lose!
I am not going to tell you again, get up NOW! I
am sending you to your room!
Leave me alone!

• What alternative response might this parent make
  to their childs expression of anger?

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Three Is
Natural consequences should be

• Natural Consequences should be
• Immediate
• Intense
• Impersonal

Immediate Intense Impersonal
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Self-Esteem

• Parents influence their
• childs self-esteem
• more than anyone.
• Accept them for who
• they are
• Encourage their talents
• Praise their accomplishments
• Show a sincere interest in
• their daily life

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Self-Esteem (contd)

• Encourage age-appropriate
• independence
• Use constructive discipline
• Appreciate their
• uniqueness
• Help them develop healthy
• peer relationships
• Respect their childs views
• and opinions

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Enhance Self

• Nurture a sense of self
• in the child with a disability
• Celebrate their gifts
• Celebrate their efforts
• Support inclusionary opportunities
• Provide age appropriate items and experiences
• Assure they are stylish for their age

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Successful Parents

• Have a game plan
• Have proactive strategies
• for managing
• tantrums
• Learn from their
• children
• Are consistent
• Say what they
• mean and mean
• what they say

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Each Is Different
Autism is like snowflakes no two are alike.
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Autism A Chameleon
Autism is like a chameleon continually
altering its signs and symptoms Autism can look
like Intermittent Explosive Disorder Obsessive-Co
mpulsive Disorder Bi-polar Disorder Oppositional
Defiant Disorder Attention-deficit/Hyperactivity
Disorder Intellectual Disability Stereotypic
Movement Disorder
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Autism Spectrum Disorder
Reclusive Hypersensitive to
touch Ritualistic
Difficulty in
transitioning Obsessive Frenetic Stereotypi
cal Echolalia Diverts eyes Flat
vocal intonation Savant abilities
Self-injurious What do these traits have to do
with intellectual disabilities? If it looks,
smells and feels like a , it probably
is a !
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Spectrum Disorder
This variance in symptoms has historically made
the diagnosis of autism allusive
Incessant talking
Mute
Speaking
Socially intrusive
Reclusive
Interaction
Hyper-sensitive
Hypo-sensitive
Sound
Hyper-sensitive
Hypo-sensitive
Light
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Spectrum Disorder (contd)
Sedentary
Frenetic
Movement
Avoidance
Stares
Eye contact
Gifted
Challenged
Intelligence
Flat
Expressive
Affect
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Spectrum Disorder (contd)
Highly attentive
Easily distracted
Attention span
Aversive
Needy
Touch
Each of these characteristics are independent of
each other!
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Diagnostic Overshadowing
Overshadowing occurs when one diagnosis
stops another from being seen or diagnosed.
The symptoms are attributed to the existing
diagnosis. This may lead to the illness(es)
and/or condition(s) being missed.
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Who Am I?
A child raised knowing and celebrating who they
are boy or girl, Jew or Baptist, Latino or
Armenian, African American or Asian, a child with
a disability Will likely grow to be an adult
comfortable in their own skin who they are!
Why would one raising a child wish to
withhold this information?
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The Unspeakable
RESPECTING our children necessitates revealing
the unspeakable You have a disability. How can
this be communicated compassionately,
empathetically and sensitively? The Who,
When, Where, How, What must be given careful
consideration when informing your
child.
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Shame

• Though adopted, your parents never
• told you.
• Throughout your childhood you wondered why
• you did not resemble your parents or siblings.
• You asked your parents why you had red hair
• and green eyes and they shrugged their
  shoulders.
• When you were 22, your great
• aunt let the secret slip.
• How would you feel
• about being adopted if
• they had not told you?

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Shame (contd)

• Though you have a disability, your parents
• never told you.
• Throughout childhood you wondered why you were
• in special education but your siblings were
  not.
• You asked your parents why your siblings were in
• regular classes and you were not,
• they said you had some learning
• issues.
• At the age of 22, your great
• uncle let the secret slip.
• How would you feel about
• having a disability if they
• had never told you?

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Logical
How can a child have a life if they dont
participate in it?
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Chicken Or The Egg?

• To do for nurtures dependency
• dependency nurtures to do for .

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Age Influenced
Our routines are primarily influenced by our
age so it should be for individuals with
disabilities. Age 3 flush the toilet Age 7
get the mail Age 10 take out the
trash Age 15 mow the lawn Age 20 change the
furnace filter
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When Is Less More?
Assisting children only when necessary, is the
most effective support. Less is More!

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Taking Advantage

• Dont let the child you support take advantage
• of you by saying-
• I dont know how!
• Will you do it for
• me?
• Im tired!
• I dont want to!

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Lifes Struggle

• Conquering our
• struggles is
• empowering.
• The ATM machine ate your card
• You cant find the remote
• The new software wont download
• The ovens pilot light wont ignite
• The toilet wont stop running
• You cant close the flue in the fireplace
• Confidence and competence
• are realized when meeting
• the challenge of a struggle.

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The Right To Struggle
Here, let me help you with that.
It is through the struggle that children grow
and learn. When the child conquers their
struggles their sense of self is enhanced.
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Involve Me
Tell Me I will forget
Teach Me I will learn
Show Me I will understand
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Passive Participation

• The participation of some children may be
  passive
• Having a presence
• Listening

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Think Out Loud

• Make an effort to talk with children who do not
  speak.
• Thinking out
• loud

Bob it really looks like a beautiful day today.

• Facilitates
• verbal skills
• Encourages
• bonding
• Demonstrates
• courtesy
• Values the child

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Passive Participation

• The participation of some children may be
  passive
• Having a presence
• Listening
• Observing
• Fleeting engagement
• Start Low
• Go Slow!

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Intermittent Participation

• Some childrens participation
• may be intermittent
• Stress beginning and end of
• activity
• Nurture sporadic independence
• Provide frequent
• graduated guidance
• The frequency
• and duration of
• participation will
• increase over time.

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Therapy
Its now time for your therapies.
Recreational Therapy
Can I take my dog for a walk first and finish
playing my guitar?
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Animals
Birds may motivate vocalization Cats may promote
range of motion Guinea Pigs may provoke a
smile Rabbits may diminish tactile
selectiveness Dogs may facilitate
ambulation Horses may nurture confidence Fish may
encourage visual tracking
Animals enhance quality of life
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Prophecy Fulfilled
As parents, we eagerly extend to our toddlers
opportunities such as.

• Changing the station on the car radio
• Unlocking the front door
• Hanging up the coat of a guest
• Handing money to the cashier
• Cracking an egg
• Wrapping presents

Why are these opportunities frequently denied to
children with disabilities who require
pervasive supports?
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Total Care
Total Care More often than not is a hyperbole Is
a limiting prognosis not a description of
ability Precludes the use of supported
routines Is not a statement of need, but a
label
Total care is to do for!
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Imposition Of Your Will
Question When a child appears non-responsive,
how can one know what to offer, encourage,
avoid or promote? Answer Always offer options
even if it is a symbolic act. What would you
choose under similar circumstances?
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Live And Learn
Children learn what they live! What are your
childrens life experiences?