Descriptive Writing

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Descriptive Writing

• Vivid Verbs and Sensuous Sentences

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Goals for This Workshop

• Be able to identify ineffective description
• Know resources for alternative vocabulary
• Have tools for revising description

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When Description Is Used

• Scenes
• Introductory paragraphs, narratives
• People
• Profiles, character analyses
• Business
• Résumés, reports, research papers
• Processes
• Process analyses, recipes, personal experience

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Ineffective Description

• Uses dull, ordinary vocabulary
• Lacks sensory information
• Fails to follow a logical sequence
• Provides unfocused, excessive detail

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Effective Descriptions

1. Have accurate nouns, verbs, and modifiers
2. Have words for readers sensory imagination
3. Tell readers what is important for them to know

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Dull Verbs and Modifiers

• I went up the beach, past colorful rocks, and
  then I could see him looking into an old log.

Who looked? What kinds of colors? How was the
action done?
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Some Vivid Verbs Modifiers

• I stumbled a little woozily up the beach,
  clambering over the boulders of quietly
  hallucinatory colours, and then from my new
  vantage point saw Mark away in the distance on
  his knees and peering into an old log (Adams
  121).

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Ineffective Vocabulary

• Inaccurate, vague nouns thing, way, stuff, type,
  method, factor
• Dull verbs be, do, get, go, have, make
• Clumsy modifiers misused or misplaced
  adjectives, adverbs, etc.

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Where do I find the words?

• EVERYWHERE!
• Formal sources reference books, professional
  journals, news media, etc.
• Informal sources peers, TV, Internet blogs,
  videos, novels, poetry, podcast
  interviewsespecially with writer-performers

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Accurate Nouns?

• Nouns are names for people, places, and
  thingsthey can be very accurate, or very
  generic.
• Choose whichever is appropriate.
• What makes a choice appropriate?

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Accurate Nouns

• spiky purple flowers
• water lilies
• Nymphaeaceae
• ????

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Dull Verbs

• Dull verbs only tell us the basic facts, lacking
  descriptive dimension
• I walked to the store.

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Revising Verbs I

• Changing the verb can add meaningful information
  in just one word
• - I slogged to the store.
• Now we know it took great effort to do the
  action, and we may feel what the author felt.

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Dull Verbs II

• Some common boring verbs
• be, do, get,
• go, have, make,
• put, run, see,
• take, talk, use

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Revising Verbs II

• To enliven your verbs, circle the repeated
  boring ones, and replace them with more
  meaningful verbs

She ran to answer the phone.
She sprinted to answer the phone.
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Power Verbs in Résumés
Dynamic, achievement-oriented verbs, such as
FormedManagedHonoredRecognizedAccomplishedAch
ievedWroteServedExecuted
ConstructedGeneratedInitiatedNegotiatedOperate
dMasteredDevelopedPresented

• Created
• Studied
• Excelled
• Formulated
• Designed
• Led
• Produced
• Supervised

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Clumsy Modifiers

• Dull Adjectives good, bad, nice, great,
  different, happy
• Confusing placementThe damaged students
  carI fought off the dog in my pajamas.Finding
  it ransacked, I entered the house.

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Adjectives

• Adjectives (and adverbs) prevent an action or a
  thing being any other way

He spoke softly.
He didnt speak loudly or hysterically.
My generous neighbor.
Our attention is drawn to the neighbors
generosity, not sense of humor or annoying habits.
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Revising Adjectives

• He was a nice guy.

Whats your definition of nice?
It was a difficult time for me.
What made it difficult? How was it so?
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Effective Descriptions

1. Have accurate nouns, verbs, and modifiers
2. Have words for readers sensory imagination
3. Tell readers what is important for them to know

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Sensory Information

• Our readers NEED to have sensory input.

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Sensory Information

• Sensory input words that have to do with
• sight
• feeling (texture and emotions)
• taste
• smell
• sound

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Sensory Information

• Before writing, visualize the scene, situation,
  person, or process.
• Note the colors, arrangements or sequences,
  sounds, smells, thoughts or feelings involved.

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Sensory Detail

• The smell of the bush, the smell of the dust and
  grass, caught at Mma Ramotswes heart as it
  always did and now there was added a whiff of
  wood smoke, that marvellous, acrid smell that
  insinuates itself through the still air of
  morning as people make their breakfast and warm
  their hands by the flames (Smith 196).

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Effective Descriptions

1. Have accurate nouns, verbs, and modifiers
2. Have words for readers sensory imagination
3. Tell readers what is important for them to know

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Essential Sensory Information

• Our readers need to have ONLY the most IMPORTANT
  sensory input!

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Decide What Is Important

• As writers for an American audience,YOU need to
  decide what is important for your readers to
  knowand what can be left out.
• Every bit of description has to have a purpose.

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Not every sense needs mentioning

• I tentatively approached the door. It had a
  smooth, egg-shaped, brass doorknob, and turned
  without resistance. I pushed open the door and
  looked around the room that smelled of rose water
  and ozone. I turned and walked with creaking
  footsteps across the hallway to the next door
  down on my right at the two oclock position. It
  was inlaid with mother-of-pearl in the shape of
  tulips. Through the door I could hear shouting.

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Tools for Revising 1

• Engage your senses!
• Recall or imagine the sounds, smells, tones of
  voice, textures, etc.
• Determine if the words on the page represent
  the most important sensory details.

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What Would You Change?

• I tentatively approached the door. It had a
  smooth, egg-shaped, brass doorknob, and turned
  without resistance. I pushed open the door and
  looked around the room that smelled of rose water
  and ozone. I turned and walked with creaking
  footsteps across the hallway to the next door
  down on my right at the two oclock position. It
  was inlaid with mother-of-pearl in the shape of
  tulips. Through the door I could hear shouting.

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Tools for Revising 2

• Consider your audience
• We use different words and phrases for different
  settings.
• What does it mean to be appropriate?

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Technical Writing

• Job applications
• Tailor your experience to each job description
• Process Reports
• Include what has an effect on the outcome
• Make every statement NEW information

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Characterization in Profile Essays

• States of mind mood, emotions, personality
• Physical expressions show readers
• e.g., fast heartbeat, twitchy smile, bright eyes
• Speech mannerisms
• Quality of dress neat, frumpy, expensive, cheap
  . . .
• Can show class, gender, etc.

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Tools for Revising 3

• Engage your best writing tools a thesaurus and a
  dictionary!
• Find an alternate related to your first word.
• Look up the meaning of the alternate to see if it
  really fits.
• If it doesnt fit, rinse and repeat!

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Take Time to Brainstorm!

• Visualize
• Feel your own emotions
• Giving physical sensations shows readers
  instead of just telling readers
• Consider several words for the same topic
• Recall your own experiences

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Questions to ask while drafting

• What did it look like?
• Where was it in relation to other things?
• What did you smell? Hear? Taste?
• How did you feel at the time? Afterward?
• Physical sensations
• Emotional sensation

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Drafting

• Draft and put aside for a while
• Revise for importance to audience, relevance to
  topic, andorder or sequence for organization

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Review Effective Descriptions

1. Have accurate nouns, verbs, and modifiers
2. Have words for readers sensory imagination
3. Tell readers what is important for them to know

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Bibliography

• Adams, Douglas and Mark Carwardine. Last Chance
  to See. New York Ballantine, 1990.
• Littlefield, Jamie. 25 Powerful Verbs for Your
  Résumé. About.com. 2009. The New York Times Co.
  26 Jan. 2009. http//distancelearn.about.com/od/us
  ingyourdegree/a/15verbs.htm
• Lunsford, Andrea. 20 Most Common Errors.
  EasyWriter Resources. n.d. Bedford/St. Martins.
  12 April 2011. http//bcs.bedfordstmartins.com/eas
  ywriter3e/20errors/19.asp
• Meyers, Alan. Writing with Confidence Writing
  Effective Sentences and Paragraphs 6th Edition.
  New York Longman, 2000.
• Smith, Alexander McCall. Morality for Beautiful
  Girls. New York Anchor, 2002.
• Thackston, Karen. Copywriting and Your Five
  Senses. About.com. 2006. The New York Times Co.
  20 Oct. 2006 http//advertising.about.com/od/copy
  writing/a/fivesenses.htm

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Descriptive Writing

• Vivid Verbs and Sensuous Sentences