PARENTHOOD AND GRANDPARENTHOOD

1

• PARENTHOOD AND GRANDPARENTHOOD
• 20th century
• choice
• increased age
• fewer children (1.5 per women (Canada) or none
• beanpole families increased longevity
• birthrate (per 1000 population) 10.6
• Newfoundland lowest in Canada 8.5
• Choice leads to decision-making, which leads to
  increased stress in many cases.

2

• Factors in reduced family size
• affluence
• education
• effective contraception widely available
• ZPG movement
• urban lifestyle
• legal abortion
• secularization of society

3

• Factors in reduced family size (Contd)
• working women considered most important factors
  today.
• women delay childbearing to pursue career
• childcare expensive and scarce
• Québec reversing the trend with affordable,
  available childcare

4

• Still a majority have one or more children
• Early childhood expectation
• as children we assume we will some day be parents
• parents as role models
• still some social expectation
• desire to create own family unit
• enjoy children
• full adult role

5

• However, significant childlessness trend,
• less stigma
• Problems with delayed parenthood
• lower fertility
• increase in Downs Syndrome (maternal age)
• increase in various abnormalities (paternal age)
  e.g. autism

6

• Transition in parenthood pregnancy
• Nine months 3 trimesters
• Changes
• physical
• emotional
• relational
• roles
• sex
• Couvade changes in the father

7

• Family life cycle (Olson and McCubbin, 1983)
  Weaknesses tends to follow first-born. Looks at
  prototypical situation two parents and kids at
  home.
• Young married couples without children
• Infant/toddler stage
• School age stage
• Adolescence
• Late adolescent/early adult children at home
• Empty nest stage
• Refilled nest stage

8

• Young married couples without children
• learning of new roles
• interfamily relations
• adjusting to marriage
• first year hardest
• this stage used to be short, now getting longer
• Myth children cement or improve a shaky
  marriage. Not! U-shaped curve.
• Infant/toddler stage
• steep learning curve, adjust to parenthood
• increased chores
• increased expenses
• decreased couple time

9

• Infant/toddler stage (Contd)
• decreased couple communication
• decreased sex
• decreased sleep, rest
• decreased socialization
• increased responsibilities
• decreased marital satisfaction
• increased role division (more traditional)
• relational changes, new roles for couple
• interference with work

10

• Infant/toddler stage (Contd)
• But also
• increased personal growth
• increased maturity
• increased rewards from parenting
• increased rewards from society (exceptions)
• Post-partum depression
• short-term normal (a few days, couple weeks)
• long-term pathological, need treatment

11

• Dhoula support essential
• Two models
• Industrialized countries
• one year maternity leave
• paternity leave
• excellent, cheap child care at work place
• Third world countries
• domestic service
• extended family
• North America neither! Canada a bit better than
  U.S. Daycare issues very central at this stage
  (expense, availability, reliability, trust,
  training)

12

• School age stage
• increased busy-ness (child activities)
• school activities extra work
• extra-curricular activities extra work
• more expenses
• more chores
• decreased 24 hr. dependency
• family-work conflicts
• frantic lives
• Helicopter parents

13

• Adolescence
• increased expenses
• parent-child conflict need for flexibility
• increased outside activities
• lowest marital satisfaction
• decreased confidence as parents
• sandwiched generation phenomenon
• increased work responsibilities
• increased community responsibilities

14

• Late adolescent/early adult children at home
• children partly gone (school away, jobs) but
  still dependent financially. Rubber band.
• highest expenses for education and other needs
• somewhat reduced conflict
• lowest marital satisfaction

15

• Empty nest stage
• children gone
• increased disposable income
• high marital satisfaction
• better sex lives
• more recreational activities
• Refilled nest stage
• in some cases children return
• boomerang children due to job loss
• marital breakdown
• no job after school
• illness
• lack of goals and motivation
• Very difficult for both parents and adult
  children, new conflicts
• OR

16

• Refilled nest stage retired couples
• widowhood?
• grandparenthood?
• travel, fun
• more egalitarian roles
• high marital satisfaction
• more disposable income

17

• Increasingly common alternatives
• singlehood
• cohabitation
• single parenthood
• gay/lesbian parenthood
• Other important close relationships in
• adulthood
• siblings
• friends
• mother/married daughter strongest

18

• Grandparent role
• decades (vs. a few years in the past)
• Individual differences in degree of involvement.
  Gender differences though grandfathers more
  nurturing than they were as fathers.

19

• Grandparent styles
• Remote (30) infrequent visits, usually
  geographic barrier. Help from modern technology.
  Could be remote due to conflict.
• Companionate (55) frequent visits, fun outings,
  some baby-sitting, gifts.
• Involved (15) like another parent, all chores
  and decisions share, advice sought. Often when
  mother works or is a single mother, or very young
  couple.

20

• Effects of divorce
• continue as usual
• be cut off (legal avenues)
• become foster parent of the grandchildren