EFFECTIVE

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EFFECTIVE WRITING
SGM MACE 13TH Sustainment Command
(Expeditionary) Fort Hood, Texas Munitions
Branch SGM
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INTRODUCTION

• Introduce Yourself
• Who am I

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AGENDA

• Writing a Bullet
• Writing Exercise
• Review and Edit

• The Value
• Preparation
• Bullet Statement Mechanics

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WHY DO WE WRITE AWARDS?

• To recognize Soldiers for valor, meritorious
  service, and
• achievement. It's our formal way of thanking
  them and
• recognizing them for their outstanding
  contributions to the success
• in mission accomplishment. Awards given to
  deserving Soldiers
• increase esprit de corps in the unit and provide
  other Soldiers the
• necessary incentive to go above and beyond their
  day-to-day
• responsibilities thus contributing to the success
  of the unit.

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BOTTOM LINE!!!!!
TAKING CARE OF THE SOLDIER!
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AAMs
Army Achievement Medal (AAM) is awarded to any
member of the Armed Forces of the United States,
or to any member of the Armed Forces of a
friendly foreign nation, who while serving in
any capacity with the Army in a non-combat role,
distinguished himself or herself by meritorious
service or achievement of a lesser degree than
required for award of the ARCOM. The AAM will
not be awarded to general officers.
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ARCOMs
Army Commendation Medal (ARCOM) is awarded to any
member of the Armed Forces who distinguishes
themselves by heroism, meritorious achievement
or meritorious service. Award may be made to a
member of the Armed Forces of a friendly foreign
nation who distinguishes himself or herself by an
act of heroism, extraordinary achievement, or
meritorious service which has been of mutual
benefit to a friendly nation and the U.S.
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ARCOMs
Awards of the ARCOM may be made for acts of valor
performed under circumstances described above
which are of lesser degree than required for
award of the BSM. These acts may involve aerial
flight. An award of the ARCOM may be made for
acts of noncombatant-related heroism which do
not meet the requirements for an award of the
SM. The ARCOM will not be awarded to general
officers.
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MSMs
Meritorious Service Medal (MSM) is awarded to any
member of the Armed Forces of the United States
or to any member of the Armed Forces of a
friendly foreign nation who, while serving in a
non-combat role, has distinguished himself or
herself by outstanding meritorious achievement or
service. An MSM is not meant to be a lesser
award than the BSM.
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VALUE OF THE AWARD

• Word a picture of what the Soldier did
• Only way someone who does not know the Soldier
  can
• effectively evaluate their performance
• Shows not only what they did but how they did
  it and
• what the outcome was

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WRITING TIPS
Use hard-hitting facts, actions and phrases
start with a strong, fact-filled statement Each
bullet should contain substance limit fluff
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WRITING TIPS
Be enthusiastic, and make your writing come
alive! Use active voice. Use common terms
everyday people can understand, instead of using
job specific jargon
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PREPARATION FOR WRITING

• Start with a comprehensive description
• Use detailed narrative of performance
• Make sure you have the who, what, where, when,
  why,
• how many, how much, time/money, and numbers

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EFFECTIVE BULLETS ALWAYS CONSIST OF

• What they did
• How they did it
• The impact or result of their action (why it
  was significant)

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• PARTS OF
• A BULLET

• Start with a strong impact word (action verb,
  past tense)
• Follow with the fact
• Support fact with impact/results

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ACTION VERBS

Activated Aggressive Aspired Attained Battled Cap
italized Commanded Commended Committed Created Ded
icated Delivered Designed Detailed Earned Employe
d Energized Enlisted Executed Guided
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ACTION VERBS
Illustrated Inspired Led Motivated Maximized Ment
ored Navigated Outshined Overcame Refined Reinforc
ed Secured Sparked Strengthened Structured Termina
ted Transformed Validated Visualized Voiced
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WORDS AND PHASES
After the standard opening, each bullet should
start with an action word like these
Displaying Using Exhibiting Making
Demonstrating Through Showing
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WORDS AND PHASES

• The next words should be an adjective-noun
  combination like
• superior leadership, he
• exceptional competence and professionalism, she
  
• expert technical skills, he
• highest degree of proficiency, she
• accomplished organizational abilities, he
• finely honed ...

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SINGLY POWERFUL WORDS
courageous implemented distinguished performe
d masterfully orchestrated
spearheaded
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ADVERBS
Adverbs work well for the next words quickly p
roficiently capably adeptly professionally effec
tively skillfully efficiently
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IMPACT AND RESULTS

• This is the outcome of what was done
• Put impact in some type of measurable term
• Quality best, most successful, first
• Quantity numbers, percent increase/decrease
• scope of effort and effect
• Time hours, man-hours/days saved,
  hours/days/months
• ahead of schedule
• Cost saving in man-hours, dollars, and/or
  resources

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JARGON
Steer away from using specific jargon or acronyms
or names of equipment that are not commonly used
in the English language. A good rule is to use
simple, everyday words that convey powerful
thoughts. Also avoid being gushy or using
puffed up words that seem phony or pompous.
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ROLL ALL TOGETHER
Now, simply mix and match the words and phrases
to ensure each bullet is a flowing sentence or
two. Start with the accomplishment you
consider to be the most significant.
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WEAK PHASES

• Be careful using certain words that may weaken
  phrases
• that otherwise would be strong. These can make
  a sterling
• performer into an instant weak one.

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NOT GOOD

seldom
one-of-the
usually
rarely
almost
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GOOD EXAMPLE
Expertly administered the training requirements
for 143 individuals and tracked 129 special
operations courses achieved a 100 percent
course utilization rate-enhanced overall
mobility readiness

(Has an action, result and impact)
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BAD EXAMPLE
Truly an outstanding NCO, leader, supervisor and
manager who possesses resourcefulness,
initiative and charter to accept and succeed at
the most demanding of tasks-exudes the Military
in all he does


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ITS THAT TIME

15 minute break
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MOVIE

Little Motivational clip
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NOW YOUR TURN

Write an achievement on the following
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TRY THIS

• SGT Joe Blow worked at Corps Storage Area as
  Ammo Handler
• with 60th Ordnance Company
• He did inventories, re-warehouse and
  renovations and that
• increased productivity in operations
• Helped retrograde about 759,000 lbs of New
  Explosive Weight of
• unserviceable and good Class V in 90 days to
  Kuwait
• Helped bring down explosive arch and keep out
  of harms way
• 2 DFACs and 3 living areas on Anaconda

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SOLUTION
SGT Blow worked as an Ammunition Handler with the
60th Ordnance Company at the Corps Storage Area
assisting with inventories, re-warehousing and
renovations resulting in increased productivity
in ammunition operations. SGT Blow assisted in
retrograding an estimated 759,239 pounds of Net
Explosive Weight (NEW) of unserviceable and
serviceable excess Class V to Kuwait in a 90 day
period. This greatly reduced the explosive arch
keeping two dining facilities and three living
areas on LSA Anaconda out of harms way.

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TRY THIS

• PFC Highspeed watched LNs and done guard duty
  in a tower for
• about 4,000 hours on Anaconda to help out on
  force protection and
• base defense plan here on Anaconda
• Her warrior ethos, dedication, attitude,
  professionalism helped the
• safety of about 26,000 soldiers, navy, Airmen,
  Marines and KBR
• that live and work on Anaconda.

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SOLUTION
PFC Highspeed served over 4,000 hours in support
of LSA Anaconda base defense plan overseeing
Host Nation laborers and performing Force
Protection tower operations. PFC
Highspeeds Warrior ethos, dedication to duty,
attitude and professionalism directly
contributed to the safety and security of over
26,000 Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines and
civilians living and working on LSA Anaconda.

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LAST ONE FROM ME
Assigned to the 13th Sustainment Command
(Expeditionary), Distribution Management Center
as an Ammunition Supply Sergeant. During OIF
06-08, SSG Lowdrag did good stuff for the ammo
people for the Multi-National Corps Iraq which
had 2 Divisions, 15 BCTs and 12 Brigade
separates. SSG Lowdrag had an integral Role in
being in control of over 129 million dollars of
Class V and Around 13 million of expenditures
by the BCTs.

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SOLUTION

While assigned to the 13th Sustainment Command
(Expeditionary), Distribution Management Center,
Munitions Branch as an Ammunition Supply Sergeant
in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom 06-08, SSG
Lowdrag provided outstanding ammunition customer
support for the Multi-National Corps Iraq,
consisting of two Divisions, 15 Brigade Combat
Teams and 12 Brigade separates. SSG Lowdrag
played an integral role in the management of over
129 million of Class V stocks and over 13
million of expenditures by the BCTs.

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NOW YOUR TURN

Write an achievement on yourself and see how you
can do
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REVIEW AND EDIT
Look at what you have written Does the bullet
start with an action verb? Did you state the
fact? Did you include the impact?

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REVIEW AND EDIT
Make the impact strong Fill the line Review,
Edit, Review, Edit, Review, Edit.. CHECK, CHECK
AND CHECK

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SUMMARY

• Writing a Bullet
• Writing Exercise
• Review and Edit

• The Value
• Preparation
• Bullet Statement Mechanics

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WELL

Questions
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LASTLY. THANKS

Just one last BANG!