Marriage Relationships

1
Chapter 8

• Marriage Relationships

2
Chapter Outline

• Motivations for and Functions of Marriage
• Marriage as a Commitment
• Marriage as a Rite of Passage
• Changes after Marriage
• Diversity in Marriage
• Success in Marriage

3
True or False?

• Economic security is the greatest expected
  benefit of marriage in the United States.

4
Answer False

• Although marriage does not ensure it,
  companionship is the greatest expected benefit of
  marriage in the United States.

5
True or False?

• About a third of states now offer covenant
  marriages and a third of people getting married
  in these states elect the covenant alternative.

6
Answer False

• Louisiana, Arizona and Arkansas offer covenant
  marriages. Fewer than 3 of couples that marry
  in Louisiana have chosen to take on the extra
  restrictions of marriage by covenant.

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Individual Motivations for Marriage

• Love
• Personal Fulfillment
• Companionship
• Parenthood
• Economic Security

8
Societal Functions of Marriage

• The primary function of marriage is to bind a
  male and female together who will reproduce,
  raise their young and socialize them to be
  productive members of society.
• Additional functions
• regulate sexual behavior
• stabilize adult personalities by providing a
  companion

9
Marriage as a Commitment

• Person-to-Person
• Individuals commit themselves to someone whom
  they love, with whom they feel a sense of
  equality, and who they feel is the best of the
  alternative persons available to them.
• Family-to-Family
• Marriage involves commitments to the family
  members of the spouse.

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Marriage as a Commitment

• Couple-to-State
• Spouses become legally committed to each other
  according to the laws of the state in which they
  reside.
• They cannot arbitrarily decide to terminate their
  own marital agreement.

11
Covenant Marriage

• In Louisiana couples can choose a standard
  marriage contract, or a covenant marriage
  contract.
• A covenant marriage permits divorce only under
  conditions of fault (abuse, adultery, or
  imprisonment on a felony) or after a marital
  separation of more than two years.
• Fewer than 3 of couples that marry in Louisiana
  have chosen a covenant marriage.

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Whats Your Opinion?

• Why do you feel that Covenant Marriage is an idea
  that has not caught on?

13
Weddings

• The wedding is a rite of passage that is both
  religious and civil.
• While love is a private experience, marriage is a
  public experience in the United States.
• It is not unusual for couples to have weddings
  that are neither religious nor traditional.

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Wedding Day

• Pg. 229

• A private moment of a couple on their wedding day.

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Weddings College Student Perceptions

1. Women prepare more.
2. The wedding is for the brides family.
3. The bride wants the wedding documented.
4. The bride prefers a formal wedding.
5. Both parents should be invited if they are still
   married.
6. Racial background affects perception of who
   should pay for the wedding.

16
Honeymoons

• The honeymoon has personal and social functions
• The personal function is to provide a period of
  recuperation from the demands of preparing for
  and being in a wedding ceremony and reception.
• The social function is to provide a time for the
  couple to be alone to solidify the change in
  their identity to a married couple.

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Legal Changes after Marriage

• Unless the partners have signed a prenuptial
  agreement, after the wedding, each spouse becomes
  part owner of what the other earns in income and
  accumulates in property.

18
Personal Changes after Marriage

• The married person begins adopting values and
  behaviors consistent with the married role
  including
• Changes in how money is spent.
• Discovering that ones mate is different from
  ones date.
• A loss of freedom.

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Changes after Marriage

• Parents, In-laws, and Friendship Changes
• Parents are likely to be more accepting of the
  partner following the wedding.
• Less time will be spent with friends because of
  the new role demands as a spouse.

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Sexual Changes after Marriage

• The number of sexual partners will decrease.
• The frequency with which they have sex with each
  other will decrease.

21
Interactional Changes after Marriage

• Over time, men change from being patriarchal to
  collaborating with their wives.
• Women change from deferring to their husbands
  authority to challenging that authority.
• There is less focus on each other and less sex.

22
Muslim American Families

• 9/ll resulted in an increased awareness that
  Muslim families are part of American
  demographics.
• 5-8 million adults in the U.S. and 1.3 billion
  worldwide self-identify with the Islamic
  religion.
• The three largest American Muslim groups in the
  U.S. are African Americans, Arabs, and South
  Asians.

23
Muslim American Families

• Islamic tradition emphasizes
• Close family ties with the nuclear and extended
  family.
• Social activities with family members.
• Respect for the authority of the elderly and
  parents.

24
A Muslim American Family

• This Muslim family lives in the United Sates.
• In the center, holding the baby, is the
  grandfather, and to his left, is the grandmother.
  
• Their sons and daughters-in-law flank them on
  either side.
• The children on the grass and standing in the
  back are those of the younger married couples.

• Pg. 235

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Core Values of Muslim American Families
Courtship Dating in the sense of being alone with a partner to explore romance and sex is prohibited.
Mate Choice Offspring are taught early to think only of marriage to a person who shares their religion/culture and to defer to their parents and kin whose experience qualifies them as a guide for mate choice.
26
Core Values of Muslim American Families
Love Love is expected to follow, not precede marriage.
Sexual behavior Holding hands, kissing and intercourse are strictly forbidden before marriage.
Marriage The ceremony involves two male witnesses for the bridegroom, a guardian for the bride and a payment by the husband of a dowry for a marriage to be valid.
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Core Values of Muslim American Families
Gender roles Equality between husbands and wives is emphasized.
Rearing children Children are highly valued, loved, and indulged.
Elderly Children are expected to respect, be kind and dutiful toward their parents.
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Core Values of Muslim American Families
Alcohol Muslims are prohibited from consuming alcohol or alcohol products.
Birth Control Not generally accepted, Possible to limit the number of children by coitus interruptus.
Abortion Only to save the life of the mother.
Divorce While spouses are expected to stay together unless doing so becomes intolerable, either spouse may request divorce.
29
Military Families

• About 60 of military personnel are married
  and/or have children.
• Military families are unique in several ways
• Traditional Sex Roles.
• Typically, the husband is deployed and the wife
  takes care of the family in his absence.
• Loss of Control- Deployment
• Military families have little control over their
  lives and the threat of death or injury is always
  present.

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Military Families

• Infidelity
• The context of separation from each other for
  months at a time increases the vulnerability of
  both spouses to other partners.
• Separation from Extended Family/Close Friends
• Resilient Military Families.
• Most military families are amazingly resilient.

31
Insert Video

• 10. Effect of War on Marriage (Run Time 332)

32
African-American Marriages

• African-American families may be described in
  terms of their strengths
• strong kinship bonds
• favorable attitudes toward their elderly
• adaptable roles
• strong achievement orientations
• strong religious values
• a love of children

33
Interracial Marriage

• Less than 5 of marriages in the United States
  are interracial.
• Segregation in religion, housing, and education
  are factors in the low percentage of Black/white
  marriages.
• Black-white spouses are more likely to have been
  married before, to be age-discrepant, to live far
  from their families of orientation, to have been
  reared in racially tolerant homes, and to have
  educations beyond high school.

34
Interracial Marriage

• College students tend to be open to interracial
  dating.

• Pg. 239

35
Interreligious Marriages

• If both spouses are devout in their religious
  beliefs, they may expect problems in the
  relationship.
• Less problematic is the relationship in which one
  spouse is devout but the partner is not.
• If neither spouse in an interfaith marriage is
  devout, problems regarding religious differences
  may be minimal or nonexistent.

36
Cross-National Marriages

• Since American students take classes with foreign
  students, there is the opportunity for romance
  between the groups, which may lead to marriage.
• Cultural differences do not necessarily cause
  stress in cross-national marriage, and degree of
  cultural difference is not related to degree of
  stress.
• Much of the stress is related to societys
  intolerance of cross-national marriages.

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Age-Discrepant Relationships

• Five themes
• They are happy.
• They lack social approval and support.
• They are not without problems.
• Women perceive benefits from involvement with
  older partners.
• Friends of the couple are joint friends.

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Age Discrepant Relationships

• This wife is 20 years younger than her husband.
  They had 20 years together before her husband
  died.

• Pg. 242

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Characteristics of Successful Marriages

1. Commitment
2. Common interests
3. Communication
4. Religiosity
5. Trust

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Characteristics of Successful Marriages

1. Not Materialistic
2. Role Models
3. Sexual Desire
4. Equitable relationships
5. Absence of negative attributions

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A Successful Marriage

• Pg. 244

• This couple is celebrating their 50th wedding
  anniversary.

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Marital Satisfaction
43
INSERT VIDEO

• 8. Effect of Holding Hands (Run Time 208)

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Definition of a Successful Marriage

• Marital success is measured in terms of marital
  stability and marital happiness.
• Couples defined marital happiness as feeling
  respected and cherished.
• They regarded their marriage as a work in
  progress that needed continued attention.