LIFE

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LIFE
Life is a journey of learning and it evolves as
a series of experiences
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LIFES LEARNING CYCLE
In learning, we get closure and completion and we
gain understanding and wisdom.
Humans are successful learners
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BUT SOMETIMES WE GET STUCK
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LIFES LEARNING CYCLE
REFLECTION GETS STUCK
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THE ANATOMY OF AN EXPERIENCE
EXPERIENCE
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THE FLOW OF FEELINGS
Beginning
Middle
End
Feelings change effortlessly from one state to
another
FEELINGS
What happens when we get stuck?
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FLOW OF FEELINGS-GETTING STUCK
When we get stuck we have 4 options
2. Dissociate
The baggage pile represents unfinished issues
that we put to the back of our minds
We file the issues in the

• Angry folder

• Fear folder

• Shame folder

The issues in the baggage pile are from
Today
Last month
Yesterday
Age 14
Age 6
Last week
Last relationship
Last year
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THE BAGGAGE PILE
The issues in the baggage pile are from a variety
of sources
!The trouble is, issues keep flipping up to the
surface, especially when there is a trigger!
Triggers reactivate old feelings or outmoded
coping strategies.
?
If there is too much in the baggage pile you sink
down into despair
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THE DENIAL MECHANISM
How are you all today?
Fine!
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YIN YANG (CHINESE COSMOLOGY)
Whatever body we wear, we are all part masculine
and part feminine
Men Masculine gt Feminine
Women Feminine gt Masculine
YIN
YANG

• Light
• Hot
• Dry
• Outward-going
• Penetrating

• Dark
• Cool
• Moist
• Receptive

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WHY MEN CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME,
AND WOMEN NEVER STOP TALKING!
(Barbara Allen Pease)
These are the 4 mechanisms we use to reinforce
denial
When men are under pressure they
Invade another country
Drink Alcohol
When women are under pressure they
Go shopping
Eat chocolate
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PALLIATION
The 4 mechanisms we use to reinforce
denial 1.Projection 2.Blot Out
3.Distraction 4.Comfort Behaviour
The trouble is, these mechanisms only palliate
the issue
They dont heal the it in the long-term
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REFLECTION
Reflection is the process by which we gain
Reflection needs
Time,
Intention,
Support
Support comes from a variety of sources