Preparing for Parenthood

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Preparing for Parenthood

• HPW3C
• Lesson 4

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• Being Prepared for Parenthood affects the lives
  of Parents and Children in the long term.

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Importance of Being Prepared for Parenthood

• The success of any endeavor depends upon the
  careful planning that goes into it.
• Parenthood is a very significant responsibility
  that requires preparation for success. Because
  success, in this case, is measured in the effects
  it has on the lives of children, planning is
  essential.
• A parent is really one who cares for and takes
  responsibility for the needs of a child.
• Parenthood involves the complex job of raising
  children even before they are born.
• Parenting requires nurturing, teaching, guiding,
  long term commitment, knowledge, patience,
  understanding, a sense of humour, and a great
  deal of time, money, and energy.

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Importance of Being Prepared for Parenthood

• When parents are not prepared for parenthood, it
  can seriously affect the lives and development of
  their children as well as their own lives.
• Plans may need to be put on hold and may or may
  not be achieved.
• Education, travel and career plans may be
  postponed or changed.

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Key Question

1. Do you wish to be a parent at some time?
2. Are you presently employed?
3. Do you want to work for a period of time before
   starting a family?
4. Would you leave your present position (job or
   education) if you decided to start a family?
   Explain your response.
5. What career goals do you want to achieve before
   you have children?
6. Where do you want to live when you have a family?
   
7. Do you feel responsible enough to be a parent
   now?
8. I shall be ready to parent when

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• Planning involved in parenting
• Physical, emotional and financial change

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Step 1 Choosing to parent

1. Do you want children?
2. When do you want children?
3. Have you looked at factors influencing this
   decision?

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Step 1 Choosing to Parent

• Wrong Reasons
• To prove adulthood
• To please someone else
• For emotional benefits
• For respect and status
• To escape a situation
• Because society expects it
• To improve a floundering relationship
• To be like everyone else

• Right reasons
• Because you have thought about it and have
  decided you are ready emotionally, financially
  and physically.

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Step 2 Examining readiness

• Measuring Maturity - Psychological Maturity
• Do you accept responsibility without being
  reminded or pressured?
• Do you perform a job well because of a sense of
  pride and respect for work?
• Can you give up short-term comfort for long-term
  gain?
• Can you set aside your own needs when someone
  elses needs are more important?
• Do you make and keep commitments?
• Are you confident about your ability to handle
  whatever comes you way?
• Are you controlling the direction your life is
  taking?
• Do you set your own goals and are you
  self-motivated to reach them?
• Can you make decisions based on reason rather
  than emotions?
• Can you solve problems skilfully?
• Could you live on your own and take care of
  yourself?
• Do you have a strong and positive sense of self?
• Are you even-tempered and peaceful?
• Do you have a positive outlook on life?

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Step 2 Examining readiness

• Measuring Maturity Physical Maturity
• Are a nutritious diet, enough sleep, and regular
  medical check-ups a part of your lifestyle?
• Do any medical conditions exist that could
  affect, or be affected by, pregnancy? Some
  examples are eating disorders, diabetes, kidney
  disease, and sexually transmitted disease.
• Would the baby be at risk for an inherited
  disorder?
• Are the mothers immunizations and vaccines up to
  date?
• Does the mother need extensive dental work?
• Would a baby be at risk from parents or other
  family members who abuse alcohol, drugs or who
  smoke?

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Step 2 Examining readiness

• Measuring Maturity Relationship Maturity
• Is the relationship satisfying? Do each of you
  feel that you get as much from the relationship
  as you give?
• Is the relationship comfortable and respectful?
  Are you both generally respectful? Are you both
  generally happy with each others actions and
  respectful of each others ideas?
• Is the relationship stable? Has it lasted long
  enough to be sure that infatuation hasnt been
  mistaken for love?
• Do you both work to settle disagreements or do
  they remain unresolved? Do disagreements centre
  around reasonable issues?
• Do you share a common philosophy about having and
  raising children? That is, do you agree on issues
  such as these how many children to have how to
  divide responsibilities and attitudes about
  discipline, education, and religion?

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Step 2 Examining Readiness

• Measuring Maturity Lifestyle considerations
• Having a baby changes the way you live.
• Beth. John and I love our daughter very much,
  but I think having her has been hard, for him
  especially. He wasnt really ready to be tied
  down. John still likes to spend a lot of time out
  with his friends. That leaves me alone taking
  care of Emmy. I keep wondering when john is going
  to start acting more like a husband and father
• Ben. Before the baby came along, Katie and I
  spent a lot of time with our friends. We took
  weekend bike trips, played tennis, went out to
  movies you name it. Weve had to cut way back
  on all that and I miss is a lot.

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Step 2 Examining Readiness

• Measuring Maturity Financial Considerations
• Is there a steady source of income? Does it meet
  expenses? How much income goes into savings? What
  other expenses are there?
• What cost will result from pregnancy, birth, and
  providing for a child?
• Do you have extended health care coverage?
• Who will take care of the baby? If a parent stays
  home will one income be enough?
• If paid childcare is necessary how much will it
  cost?
• Will larger living quarters be needed
  immediately? In six months? In a year?

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Step 3 Identify your pressures to Have Children

• Oftentimes, people knowingly or unknowingly, will
  place extra pressure on couples to have children.
  
• Some of the more commonly used phrases or social
  pressure tactics include

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Social Pressures

• Social Pressures
• Once you have a partner, it is the next logical
  step
• All our friends are having children.
• Keeps a marriage together (saves a shaky
  marriage).
• Keeps you young
• The rewards of love and affection from a child
  (someone will love me).
• Phrases
• When will you start a family (you are not a
  family until a child joins you)
• You are not a woman until you have had a child
• I want grandchildren

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Key Question

• 1. Review the pressures to have children. Explain
  whether you believe they are good reasons or bad
  reasons.
• 2. List each pressure and the reasons (good or
  bad) in a chart similar to the one on the right.
• 3. In your opinion, what are the best reasons for
  having children? Explain your answer.

Pressure Good Bad Why?

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Step 4 Identify Challenges of Parenthood

• Since parenthood spans many years, it can include
  many ups and downs. Every family is different,
  therefore, not all families will experience
  parenthood in exactly the same way, but they will
  face similar challenges. The challenges continue
  and change with each stage of the childs
  development.
• Other challenges, include
• divorce,
• death,
• poverty,
• special needs children,
• and job changes or loss

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Step 4 Identify Challenges of Parenthood

• When potential parents educate and prepare
  themselves for parenthood, they actually reflect
  and analyze critically the possible scenarios
  that could happen. As they reflect, they can
  better understand the actions and decisions of
  their own parents and can speculate about their
  own future parenting experience.

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Step 4 Identify Challenges to Parenthood

• The challenges of parenthood are many but the
  most commonly cited ones are
• 1. Balancing work and family.
• 2. Lack of sleep.
• 3. Caring for a sick infant.
• 4. Financial considerations.
• 5. Disciplining young children.
• 6. Meal Planning.
• 7. Time Management.
• 8. Finding appropriate child care.
• 9. Lifestyle changes.
• 10. Effects on other family members.

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Step 5A Detailed look at challenges

• Financial
• Create a baby budget
• What do you think it costs to raise a child?

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Step 5B Detailed look at challenges

• Time Management
• Create a Parent Schedule
• Parenthood is a 24 hour, 7 days a week
  commitment. What does a parents schedule look
  like? How many hours in a day do they have to
  themselves?

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Pleasures of Parenting

• Laughing Babies you tube videos
• Visit Baby Centre .com and set up an account
• Share highlights from our own childhood