Dignity Stories

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• Dignity Stories
• Shared at Workshop
• Mostly positive dignity stories, but not all.
  They are stimulus for discussion.
• (names changed)

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Lewis was diagnosed with end stage dementia and
had moved into a nursing home. However due to his
challenging behaviour his family felt he was
going to be asked to leave.One morning he had
not slept and was very anti-social in his
behaviour. His care staff had asked that he
accompany a group of other residents to the
farm. The staff who were going had major
anxieties, but Lewis was helped into the bus.He
got in and was angelic! He interacted with the
staff, spoke to the animals and even went to the
pub and had a few glasses of wine.On returning
home is wife was waiting in the car park
waiting to be told he had to leave. She was
amazed at the calm, happy man that met her and
the staff who had enjoyed his company.She had
shared his care needs but hadnt told the staff
they had enjoyed many bus holidays and he had
worked part time on two farms. He went on to
live happily at the home for three years
however he did deadhead everything in the
garden! And staff realised the importance of
understanding a residents background
3
Following a major stroke Mary went to live with
her daughter and son-in- law.Her daughter
photographed every item of clothing and each
morning would present her mother with an album to
help her choose her own outfit.We need to think
about ways to empower people to have control over
decisions and their lives whenever possible -key
to dignity.
4
Lucy wanted to make a cup of tea in the kitchen
for her sister when she visited, but was not
allowed in the kitchen.She felt frustrated and
inadequate.Health and safety risk assessments
sometimes stop residents doing normal everyday
activities and things they love.Risk
assessments should save lives not stop them
need person centred risk assessment.
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A gentleman didnt communicate much at all. He
sometimes seemed a bit short in the way he
spoke.We realised his wife was in hospital
having her hip replaced.When she was better she
came to visit her husband - Id never seen him so
happy or animated. He jumped out of his chair. He
was a different person because his wife was with
him.We must recognise how important peoples
family and friends are to them and how separation
and contact can affect them.
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One lady said she would really like a cup of tea
from a china mug instead of a mug. Staff
brought in a range of china cups and saucers from
home.The lady enjoyed her cup of tea so much it
has developed into a regular tea party event that
everyone now enjoys.It is so important to
listen to residents needs and respond.It is
often little things that have a big impact Like
retaining Everyday life activities
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Debbie was 18 and new to care work. She recently
accompanied a resident to AE in the last days of
his life.As I went to pick her up from the
hospital (15 hours after she had started her
shift because she didnt want to leave him) the
AE consultant pulled me aside to praise Debbie
for her compassion and dedication to this
resident.A few weeks later I received a letter
dictated by this consultant again praising Debbie
and saying she should be given every
encouragement to go into nurse training if that
was her ambition.As her manager I was so proud
of her.Respecting and showing dedication in
this way treated this gentleman with dignity
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A young lady was born with spina bifida. In 2000
she was also registered blind.She was told that
there were many things she would be able to do
now.She had never been given the opportunity to
learn braille and she felt no-one had the time to
sort it out.But then someone did talk the time
and now she is learning braille on a one to one
basis each week and loving it. Staff thought
they knew best, but it is never to late to learn
new skills or make new memories.
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Albert came to access respite care. He was very
unkempt and had poor personal hygiene. Staff
attempted over several days to give him a bath,
resulting in an escalation of aggressive
behaviour. After several days of this, one
staff member was chatting to Albert who said he
would like a bath, but wanted a man to help. No
one had considered this. His carer at home was
his daughter and he didnt feel this was
appropriate and offers of help since had been
from females. Once gender appropriate care was
offered Albert became a very welcome visitor, who
had tremendous personality and staff loved to see
him.Afterwards staff said well, if you always
do what you always did, youll always get what
you always got! It was an interesting lesson
to always consult with the individual to identify
what is important to them and thing of different
solutions.
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A group of people with learning disabilities came
to live together 5 years ago. The social
workers assessment was that they had limited
abilities and a local artist volunteered her
services and came every Monday to develop their
skills in art therapy. Now their 3D artwork
sells for as much as 120 a piece, is widely
respected and they have created work
opportunities for other people. This gave
them a sense of purpose and achievement. The
word respect is interesting as one of the ways
people define what dignity means to them is
Your respect gives me my dignity
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Alison started her career in 1981 as a 16 year
older care worker. One of her colleagues and
friends who supported her in her early working
life was a lady called Sheila. Alisons career
has now progressed and she has responsibility for
12 care homes. Sheila is now a resident in the
care home that Alison started her career in.
Alison asked her staff Is Sheila one of them
or is she still one of us. Shouldnt she
still be treated with the same courtesy and
respect as when she was a senior colleague? When
did she loss the right to respect.How does
the power balance feel here ? Equal?Interesting
stimulus for discussing of use of languageDid
Alison mean to be disrespectful?
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Extract from - A letter from a daughter of a
deceased service userI am writing to thank
your exceptional staff for the difference they
made to my fathers life over the last 4
years.Dad looked forward to their visits and
the humour they brought.They are exceptional
(and I dont use that word lightly) people who
sprinkled their magic in Dads life.Im sure
they are now having a similar effect on the lives
of other vulnerable peopleYours forever
gratefulThe staff obviously understood the
gentleman and his sense of humour.
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James is 29, he has just moved into a house with
two other men, both of whom have learning
disabilities too. They have a small team of
support workers who assist them to live
independently in the community. James is an only
child who lived Mum until she died last month.
The two tenants are initially suspicious of
James, especially when he is reluctant to help
with the housework and does not understand their
house rules. This leads to friction in the house
and an atmosphere that disturbs everyone and
makes life difficult for the support
staff. Staff are concerned about James
behaviour. They discuss his care plan with the
information about his routines. It identifies
that James showers every day following a long
three stage process, he must have a full set of
clean clothes every morning and he needs a new
toothbrush every Friday. It is decided that these
behaviours are as a result of years of spoiling
by his mother and a programme of positive
behaviour management will help him settle more
easily into the routine of the home. On the
first morning that James does not have clean
clothes available he washes the worn ones in the
sink and puts them back on - wet through. His
support worker cannot persuade him to change so
he decides it will be a lesson for him to wear
them all day. When he is told he must use his
toothbrush for a month, James will not clean his
teeth at all because he is so distressed. One of
the support workers makes jokes about his
showering routine, the others laugh at him.
James becomes withdrawn, his notes indicate he
is not mixing with the others and not settling,
he is either aggressive or curled on his bed, it
is thought to be because of his resistance to
change.
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• An 80 year old man came to us from hospital late
  one Saturday night. There was very little
  information about him, he did not appear to have
  any relations or friends, he was very
  disorientated and agitated.
• All the information we had was basic DoB, brief
  medical history, previous address etc. Very brief
  notes - he had dementia, was aggressive but was
  fairly local. After several weeks, it came to a
  point where we had to call in the CPN to help, he
  looked at his medication and we were considering
  whether we were able to keep him, it was
  difficult for staff and the other residents. He
  lashed out at anyone who tried to get him to do
  something he refused baths and getting him
  dressed in the morning was a nightmare because he
  fought, shouted, struggled and hit staff -
  Nothing really helped, he was abusive for no
  reason and our staff are not paid enough to put
  up with that.
• Just after he came, we employed a new member of
  staff, she had stopped work whilst her family
  were young, she hadnt worked in care before but
  she was local. She came in for a trial and even
  before she started her initial training she
  seemed to have a rapport with him. He would go
  with her when she asked, he would be more relaxed
  when she was with him.
• We asked her how she did it, but she didnt
  know. Later she told us she recognised him
  straight away, he had been a headmaster at the
  local school. She said he didnt know her and she
  hadnt said anything to him because it seemed
  wrong for her to be washing and dressing him
  when he had taught her. He was well respected,
  very strict but always fair he taught me Welsh,
  he was a good teacher
• She hadnt even finished her training and she was
  able to work more effectively that even the most
  experienced members of staff with this man.

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Mair lives in her own home,
because of a recent diagnosis of dementia and
some issues with dressing, her son has persuaded
her to have support at home. Care Workers let
themselves into the house every morning at 8.30
to wake her, help her shower, dress and get
breakfast. They make a quick call at lunchtime
then come back at 6pm to help her get her tea,
medication and then ready for bed. Mair says
the women are all nice, she likes their company
and they make sure she has her clothes on in the
right order and takes her pills but she is uneasy
about personal support in the bathroom, she
thinks they are a bit too familiar. She knows
she needs help to remember and do some things but
she was very embarrassed the first time when the
care worker stayed in the wet room and opened the
shower curtain to help her wash herself. She
didnt like to say anything though. Now she is
slowly getting used to it, but its not nice.
Often on cold morning she would prefer to stay in
bed a bit longer, it takes her a long time to
pull round, but they wont let her, she smiles
and says they torment and tease her until she
gets up she supposes it is good for her.She
used to go to town but she doesnt have time
between visits now. She has stopped making meals
because it was suggested she ordered frozen
prepared meals and they heat them in the new
microwave her son bought. One day one made her
throw away the fish she was having for lunch
because they said it was out of date. She had
bread and jam instead. She knows she is lucky to
have so much support.