Curtain

1

• Curtain on phone

• Hello Sergeant Foley? May I speak to Inspector
  Levine, please

• Oh? Do you know where he is? At the Corban
  home? Im calling from the Corban home. Hes not
  here.

• Well, maybe you can help me, Sergeant? Have you
  any information about Elizabeth Corban?

• Sergeant, I know shes missing. I reported her
  disappearance. Im her husband.

• Look, didnt the Inspector leave a number where
  he can be reached? Oh? Good

2

• Okay whats the number?... Thanks a lot, thats
  my number! Never mind! hang up

• And give my regards to your boss Mack Sennett.
  make a drink, sound of a car

• Inspector Levine

• theyre in such a hurry to start relaxing.

• You need this.

• you two expecting someone?

• You tell me.. Have you brought me news?

3

• I brought you a sandwich.

• I dont need a sandwich. I need a wife.

Here, you must be hungry

• I am, Inspector, for news about my wife. For
  three days youve been sitting on your hands.

• .. If you wanted personal attention, lose your
  wife in the city.

• Ill remember that next time, Inspector. But
  right now, would you mind telling me what youve
  done?

4

• Every trooper in the East is watching for a
  yellow Marlin Rambler Michigan PPL 1412

• And thats all?

• Well, if she robs a bank, well put her picture
  in every post office.

• What a police force! You cant find a beautiful
  girl in a yellow marlin who couldnt get past Mr.
  Magoo!

• if its insults Im looking for, I could call
  my wife.

• Inspector, Im upset. Forgive me.

5

• you hope hell ask you to sit down and rest for
  awhile.

• Sorry, Inspector, please sit down.

• The bloodhounds gotta be organized.

• Shes probably insured.

• The more hanky-panky I catch, the less
  insurance you pay.

• Too bad they dont sell missing wife insurance.
  Then maybe youd look for Elizabeth instead of
  that bracelet.

6

• Here, eat. This comes from Sidneys Sandwich
  Shoppe the best.

• Inspector, in case I havent mentioned it lately

• Your wife?

• yes

• Sidney, youre a genius. This sandwich belongs
  in Tiffanys window.

• Inspector

7

• So shes gone Corban. So what? My wifes gone
  too.

• What?

• where would your wife go for labour day weekend?

• inspector

• back to hot steaming rockaway for a labour day
  weekend

• At least you know where she is. My wife has
  disappeared.

8

• in 96 of these cases, they come back.

• Just what I need another keystone cop!

• my men dont go looking for unfaithful wives
  not while theyre on duty.

• My wife is not unfaithful

• Oh?

• We had a quarrel. It was late at night. Wed
  both had a few drinks. I dont think either of
  us knew what we were saying.

9

• What were you saying?

• I wasnt saying anything. Scouts honor! I was
  just lying on the couch listening to Stravinsky

• I happen to like stravinsky. In fact, I was
  playing the recording for the third time

• Suddenly, Liz leaped from the chair, called me a
  musical snob, ran over to the stereo and broke my
  stravinsky records.

• So what did you do?

• Well, you know how these things go.

10

• Corban, did you hit her?

• No, I swear to you.

• What did you do?

• Well, I broke her sinatra record. Then liz got
  terribly angry, stormed out of here, and drove
  down the hill in my rambler.

• You shouldnt have given her the keys

• She has her own keys

11

• now youre protected, in case she runs wild.

• Im more worried about her driving wild. To Liz,
  70 miles an hour is crawling

• To my wild, willful, wonderful wife wherever
  she may be

• And to yours in rockaway, wherever that may be.

• Do you two fight a lot?

• Weve been married only two weeks. How many
  fights could we have?

12

• but its lasted ten years. Did you try calling
  Detroit?

• I phoned a dozen times. I even sent a special
  delivery letter to her apartment

• I should say our apartment thats where were
  planning to live.

• And?

• The letter came right back. She had her mail
  forwarded here.

13

• Relatives? Friends?

• We dont have many friends in common. She has
  some distant relatives on the west coast, but I
  dont know them yet

• We only met a month ago at the race track in
  harbor springs.

• The track?

• It was one of my lucky days.

• You won?

14

• Lost a bundle! But met her. I was standing at
  the rail and

• As the horses crossed the finish line, this girl
  next to me got so excited

• She threw her arms around me. I lost the race,
  but won Elizabeth.

• And now you lost her again. Well easy come,
  easy go.

• Thats not funny!

15

• Dont let it throw you corban. Dont give her
  the satisfaction.

• Youre right. Ill just continue the honeymoon
  as if nothing happened.

• In any case, youll hear from me in a flash if
  shes reported injured or deceased.

• You dont mean that, do you?

• These things happen

• dammit, elizabeth, where are you?

16

• will you be all right here? All by yourself?

• Ill be alright levine, I have a little
  20-year-old friend taking care of me

• What!... Come on, ride over to the hotel with me.
  You could use the fresh air

• I want to stay by this phone. Inspector, you
  will step up your search?

• Yeah yeah. Meanwhile, if you get the urge to
  call me again.

• Yes?

17

• Priest enters Hello God be with you

• You scared the hell out of me! Sorry. Who are
  you?

• A humble servant of our lord, mr. corban. You
  are Daniel Corban, arent you?

• Yes

• Im You knew my predecessor, Father Rinaldi?

• Im new around here. Frankly, it never occurred
  to me there was a grossinger diocese.

18

• This is sullivan county, you know.

• True. A harmless nip, Father?

• Thank you I have a medallion for your wife.

• My wife gave you a donation?

• Indeed Heres your medallion.

• And heres your drink. Ill be happy to give
  this to my wife father

19

• If she returns. You see, the good woman has
  left my bed and board.

• Oh. How unfortunate.

• Well, anyway to the charitable mrs. Corban.

• God love her.

• And may god keep her. I sure havent been able
  to.

• You seem distressed my son. Perhaps if you
  unburden yourself.

20

• Please, father, no sermons.

• sermons? Mr. Corban do you still love your wife?

• Father, just a month ago, the only important
  things to me were

• My score on the golf course, my tailor, cocktail
  parties

• Liz changed all that. She was warm and loving.

• Saintly qualities.

21

• Whod think that in the mad, mad world of harbor
  springs, Id find a girl so inward, so
  introspective.

• Inward beauty is the light of god.

• St tomas a-kwine-us?

• You may be right. Do go on.

• Two weeks later we were back in detroit. Father,
  we were in such a rush

• We got married first thing in the morning, right
  in the office

22

• My boss and his secretary were witnesses

• Liz and I were so anxious to be alone together,
  liz must have averaged 90 miles and hour driving
  here.

• Uh-huh. Go on.

• Well here we were, father.. Nothing but mountain
  peaks for miles around. It was perfection

• Why did she leave?

• When I said that elizabeth was inward, father, I
  meant she was restrained in public

23

• But here, one minute gentle as a sylvan brook,
  the next, a thundering tidal wave.

• You put it so picturesquely

• Im in advertising father. Anyway, three nights
  ago, we had a little squabble..

• This time, I couldnt stop the tidal wave. She
  stormed out of here, drove off, and I havent
  heard from her since.

• Mr. Corban with nothing but words of love?

• Of course.

24

• elizabeth enters, then father Im so happy for
  you both.

• Father

• No need to say anything. It was only my duty.

• Father, that woman is not my wife.

• What?

• Shes not elizabeth. I have never seen her
  before in my life.

25

• Really, corban, you said no reproaches. Well, my
  task is accomplished.

• Father, I dont know that woman!

• She certainly talks and acts like your wife.

• A man should know the woman he married,
  especially on his honeymoon.

• But youve been under perhaps the sudden shock
  of seeing her again.

• Ill say its a shock! Father, that isnt the
  woman who gave you a donation last week, is it?

26

• Why, yes.

• Are you sure?

• Catholic face in the catskills, you dont forget
  it easily

• Then this medallion should go to her, not my wife.

• Mr. corban, is this some kind of joke?

• It sure is father, and I intend to make the most
  of it

27

• Miss! Come out of my bedroom! Stick around
  father, were going to have some fun.

• elizabeth and father, then elizabeth feels so
  good to be back, I love this place, and you too,
  darling.

• Come here, baby you have no right to kiss me
  that way.

• surprised elizabeth, then incredulous father
  shes a wonderful woman.

• Shes an imposter!

• Danny!

28

• Father, you brought her here. Now you take her
  back where you found her.

• Danny, what are you saying?

• The act is over, baby.

• elizabeth trying to reason with danny, then
  oh-oh danny, you know dr. ackerman said this was
  bad for your nerves.

• Who the hell is he?

• Elizabeth says attack the father oh I
  understand.

29

• I dont have nerves I dont have attacks! What
  the hell is she trying to do?

• Danny please I dont understand. I could
  usually calm him down.

• Shes lying. She never calmed me down. I mean

• What am I arguing about? I can put a zipper on
  this whole thing in minutes. Im call the police.

• Danny, dont!

• Getting scared?

30

• Danny, please.. Im asking you not to

• I hardly expected you to second the motion

• Well? Im going to make the call. What are you
  going to do?

• Nothing

• Nothing?

• If you want to make us both look foolish, go
  ahead.

31

• I warn you the local inspector knows all about
  my wifes disappearance

• Youd better have some good answers ready. You
  wont fool Levine for a minute.

• I hope were doing the right thing.

• Hello, inspector levine, please.

• Perhaps Id hes not overjoyed at all.

• Hello, levine? This is corban

32

• Levine, for once in your life, dont talk,
  listen. A woman, a woman is trying to forcer her
  way into my home

• What? Yes, yes shes good looking. What does
  that have to do with it?

• I wish I could send her to your house . Levine
  Im serious. Please come over right away

• Youll stay, wont you?

• Poor danny.

• Poor you. Levine is going to be here in a second!

33

• Im worried father.

• Its about time! And time is running out. Youd
  better hurry.

• I only hope he doesnt take my husband away.

• Take me away!

• To a rest home.

• Oooh! Thats it. Now the wrapping comes off the
  package. You found out elizabeth..

34

• Is missing. You come here posing as her, and now
  you want to convince

• Everyone Ive flipped. Put me away, and start
  spending my money.

• What money?

• You actually think you can get away with it?

• Darling, are we that rich? .Darling, I love you
  in spite of your money.

• You keep away from me, lady. What do you know
  about my wife? Where is she?

35

• Father that must be the inspector.

• Levine! Thank god. Well, congratulations lady,
  youve just won yourself a free weekend in the
  catskills.

• Courtesy of sullivan county. Inspector!
  Inspector! comes back with levine

• Levine, Ive never seen anything as brazen in my
  life. Its incredible. Look!

• Im elizabeth corban inspector. My absence has
  upset my husband terribly.

• Shes lying inspector. Shes lying.

36

• You mean youre not upset?

• Arrest her levine!

• For what

• For for - impostery

• Im what?

• Shes posing as my wife. Arrest her!

37

• levine youre fizzing, then elizabeth listen
  to your friend darling.

• Dont call me darling. Youre a perfect stranger.

• levine and father, father the poor man no
  longer recognizes his wife.

• Do you want to see my wife levine? Do you really
  want to see my wife? Ill show you.

• Has he got a wife in every room?

• My pictures, my pictures, where the hell are
  those pictures

38

• Levine, I found those snapshots I told you about,
  and now theyre gone

• You were in that room a while ago.

• I just hung up some things darling.

• You took my photographs. The pictures of
  elizabeth and me at harbor springs

• Shes not only an imposter, shes a thief. She
  stole my snapshots

• Danny, youre impossible.

39

• Do you deny it?

• levine your wife goes awol and when she comes
  back, shes not your wife. Whats that supposed
  to mean?

• That woman is not elizabeth!

• Dont shoult, I got 20-20 hearing.

• Inspector, that, is, not, my, wife.

• Tough luck. Who is she?

40

• I dont know, but I know who she isnt.

• levine asks liz and father to step out.
  Fathercome, mrs. corban

• I was sitting here calmly

• You calmly?... Identification please

• What?

• all the cards in the wallet do not stop at go,
  do not collect 200

41

• What?

• What do you do for a living besides collect
  credit cards?

• Im an account executive for parker, parker and
  lowe. Advertising.

• Advertising what?

• Marlins. I handle newspaper and magazine copy.

• Is this a publicity gimmick?

42

• No inspector. lose your wife in a marlin does
  not enhance the company image.

• I dunno do they give you free samples?

• As a matter of fact, a few of us upper-echelon
  men are privileged to drive our clients product
  is that an important question?

• Just curious tall, slender beanpoles? I like
  em short.

• You may have something there, levine. Compact
  girls for a compact car. Ill take it up with
  mr. parker.

• Your boss?

43

• yes. Everett parker jr. He lent us this nest
  for our honeymoon.

• Oh.

• Okay, inspector, I confess. I borrowed this
  chalet. Does that reduce my status in your eyes?

• I should have such friends to have a place in
  the catskills.

• Whats your message?

• I mean, commuting distance, its not.

44

• Well, to put it in your own inimitable style, on
  the head, you have hit the nail.

• What?

• Remember those models you were drooling over?

• The gorgeous beanpoles?

• This is mr. parkers model house.

• So what does parker do about his wife?

45

• Oh, he brings her up here now and then. He has
  to. She paid for it. Look, whos getting
  investigated here?

• Nobody corban, you were on your honeymoon

• We arrived two weeks ago, and it was paradise.

• Naturally, with a wife like that.

• How many times must I I must find a way to get
  through to you

• In advertising, we find visual aids are very
  effective. You can read, cant you inspector?

46

• But why Im looking for a motive.

• How do I know? Shes some kind of screwball.

• Well, the usual reason is money. Are you rich?

• No, but I do all right.

• Maybe you stand to inherit a bundle?

• Im an orphan, since I was five. No relatives.

47

• Insurance?

• Quite a bit. More than I can afford.

• The beneficiary?

• Liz, of course. The night we arrived here, I
  wrote to the company instructing them to make liz
  the beneficiary.

• Aha!

• Whats that supposed to mean?

48

• Levins law!... Cherchez le hanky panky.

• You mean if this woman becomes mrs. Corban.. I
  might become the late mr. corban?

• Accidentally.

• thats fantastic! How could she hope to get away
  with it?

• She couldnt your real wife wouldnt stand for it.

• Thats right. Find my real wife, levine. Shell
  expose this fraud

49

• Intensify the search. Use the wire services, the
  state troopers, the fbi.

• levine and father worried about her husbands
  excitable nature

• Hah!

• father and levine father, in your opinion, is
  that woman elizabeth corban?

• He never saw elizabeth!

• Who has seen your wife since youve been in
  carlton?

50

• Who?

• Who.

• We arrived late at night. Only one store was
  open, a delicatessen.

• Sidneys. What did you buy?

• Two weeks of groceries and a bottle of aspirin.

• Your wife went in with you.

51

• She was tired. She stayed in the car.

• Did you take her dancing at the carlton lake?

• no

• Didja play golf?

• no

• Go swimming?

52

• No.

• Hey, didja go to the trotters, in monticello?

• no

• A real indoor type honeymoon. Tell me, does the
  mailman come up here to deliver?

• Theres a box at the bottom of the road.

• So were back to nowhere.

53

• Levine, there are hundreds of people who saw us
  in harbor springs, on the way here, the
  restaurants.

• Great, Illbecause a man had a fight with his
  wife.

• I love my wife, and Ill pay anything, to get
  those witnesses.

• elizabeth comes in, levine is interrogating.
  Elizabeth thought for one minute that danny
  would react this way.

• Hah!

• elizabeth and levine care blanche, club, club,
  club

54

• What!

• douglas? elizabeth my maiden name.

• Its a forgery! How did you get that?

• corrective lenses levine Ill say!

• Let me ask the questions. Ill show up this
  fraud.

• Go ahead. Id love to see an armchair detective
  in action.

55

• All right, mata hari, well see how well youve
  learned your part

• Which train did we take to detroit?

• Danny, we took a plane. Dont you remember?

• Which plane?

• American airlines, flight 401.

• Whats my unlisted phone number?

56

• Woodward 6-4321. Levine go ahead, still your
  serve.

• What was your mothers maiden name?

• Is that right?

• I dont know. I never asked her.

• Brilliant you dont know the answers.

• The night before we were married, we spent the
  night in a hotel in detroit. Which one?

57

• Danny, please!

• You said youd never forget that night. Well?
  Getting an attack of amnesia, darling?

• No, modesty. All right, hotel commander, rm. 355

• Wrong! Levine, Ive got her!

• So shes a couple of numbers off.

• We didnt stay at the commander at all! Theres
  my proof!

58

• levine checks well sit and wait

• No more questions. Ive cracked her now.

• Well wait tattoo? Something only a wife could
  know.

• Youre right, youre right. As a matter of fact,
  I have a scar. All right, lady, where is it.

• Darling, please

• I had a car accident some years ago, and I still
  beat a noticeable scar. At least one that my
  wife should have noticed.

59

• pictures trickery, elizabeth telling the
  inspector my husband has a scar on his left
  shoulder

• He told you, didnt he. Levine, you heard him!
  You saw him. He said the upper shelf..

• The upper shelf! And then he raised the pitcher
  with his left hand. Hes working with her.
  Theyre a team!

• What?

• Hes a crook, too!

• Corban, this is a man of god.

60

• I dont believe it. Dont you see, levine? When
  she gave him that donation, it wasnt a donation.

• It was the snapshots she stole from my bedroom.
  The pictures taken in harbor springs

• At the pool. Thats how she knew where my scar
  was!

• father and levine you dont mind, do you
  father?

• Open it! Open it, levine! Youll find my
  pictures in there!

• Corban, sorry father.

61

• I dont care! Hes a fraud! Dont let that
  costume fool you. Have you ever seen him before?

• levine then father oh dear, I must have
  forgotten my wallet.

• What did I tell you? Father phony!

• levine and father anything to give this poor
  man peace of mind.

• Make that call, levine. Youd better start
  buying some neckties.

• levine calls, then father in fact he got me
  this parish.

62

• sure, sure.

• hes fine. Nothings wrong. Thank you father.

• Theyve got a whole organization against me!

• father, levinealso, commander hotel checks
  out. You must forgot.

• Its a lie. I didnt forget. I was never there.

• Look, we just checked with the desk clerk.

63

• Then they bought him off. The got to him! They
  must have an army of agents, all over the country.

• Absolutely right, emperor. All your troops are
  in waterloo.

• Levine, let me ask some more questions.

• levine, father, elizabeth Ill fix a nice
  candlelight dinner for just the two of us, the
  way you like

• Wont somebody take her away?

• father, levine, elizabether, levinedr.
  ackerman, whos he?

64

• One of the gang!

• Hes my husbands doctor.

• Hah! Probably some underworld quack.

• levine then elizabeth I wanted danny to, I
  guess its all right.

• Its poison, levine. Take it to the lab. Its
  poison!

• elizabeth then levine hes gonna fizz himself
  to death

65

• They want to drive me crazy. Shut me up in a
  little room in a mental hospital.

• elizabeth then levinehad a breakdown?

• I did not have a breakdown! I was exhausted,
  physically

• And I spent a few days in a rest home. But my
  nerves are perfect. Im perfectly sane!

• elizabeth then levine now I gotta shove. Uh
  Mrs. Corban?

• Levine!

66

• yellow marline? Yes. Levine Swell. phone
  rings

• Its for me! Its for me!... Its for you.

• levine takes call couple of smudges in the
  signature at commander in detroit could be
  erasures.

• Smudges, levine, erasures! That proves Im in a
  trap. Dont leave, levine! Youll never see me
  again!

• Itll be checked out by tomorrow.

• Tomorrow will be too late, something will happen,
  something terrible, an accident. God knows what.

67

• Please, corban

• Dont leave me alone.

• elizabeth and levine if theres any trouble,
  call me, either of you.

• Wait, levine! Listen to me, well find proof!
  You cant let her get away with this! Levine!

• elizabeth where are you going?

• Uh, to get some ice. As my ever-loving wife, you
  should know I take it on the rocks.

68

• elizabeth then father there must be something I
  can do to help.

• As a matter of fact, there is. Have a drink?

• Thank you.

• Has the inspector left?

• father and elizabeth heres the ice, darling,
  wheres your glass?

• Darling I just made a contribution to Father
  Kelleher, my drink.

69

• father drops you killed him!

• Inspector levine, dont leave, help! Come quickly!

• I bring Levine in as Elizabeth says Buzzy!
  Youll screw up everything! In there!

• Hes dead levine, dead! And that poison was
  meant for me! Look!

• dead body? Elizabeth not recently, inspector.

• Shes hidden it, well search, well find it.
  Look under the couch....

70

• In the bedroom! Oh, god!

• father reappears at touch of arthritis, comes
  and goes.

• Oh, my God! Im finished! Im finished!

• levine leaves with father, then elizabeth alone
  at last. I thought our company would never leave.

• When are you going?

• Im not leaving again.

71

• Oh, turn it off! Levine is gone, you can drop
  the act now.

• Didnt you like my performance? I thought I
  carried it off very well.

• What do you know about my wifes disappearance?...

• You wouldnt dare pull a stunt like this unless
  you knew where she is

• Wheres elizabeth?

• Im yours, till death do us part, remember?

72

• Till death do us part. I guess Im supposed to
  panic now

• Not yet, Danny, that comes later.

• What they hell do you want?

• Money.

• Money? Me! Thats rich. You think this place
  is mine? The only mountain I own is a mountain
  of debts.

• We know that danny. Youre not worth anything,
  alive.

73

• Im not worth any more dead. I havent anything
  worth are you thinking of my insurance? Youd
  commit murder for a 100 thousand dollars?

• natural causes, accidents, suicides

• Uh huh, and whats my category?

• it would take all the fun out of it for you.

• The suspense is killing me. I wont be able to
  sleep.

• Ill get you a tranquilizer.

74

• Oh, yes. You and your bushy-eyed buddy tried to
  make levine think Im crazy. Is that part of
  your cockeyed plan?

• all that shouting, denying Im your wife.

• I can prove that youre not! And when elizabeth
  shows up -

• forgetting about the commander hotel.

• I NEVER.. Stayed at the commander.

• seeing imaginary corpses

75

• Set ups. I admit they were clever, but they
  dont prove anything.

• inspector levine seems to think

• I dont care what levine things! Any
  psychiatrist would give me a clean slate in five
  minutes.

• mental hospital sounds so depressing.

• It was a rest home!

• Have it your way, danny.

76

• How does all this tie up with collecting my
  insurance?

• Youll find out danny, soon enough.

• Its funny! Its really funny. Youre going
  through all this, for what?

• You think the insurance company is going to hand
  you the cash? They pay be check

• A check for a hundred thousand, made out to
  elizabeth corban

77

• How do you think youre going to cash that?

• bank is covered the president himself will take
  care of poor, bereaved mrs. Corban.

• Why are you telling me all this? You know damned
  well Im going to levine about it.

• What are you going to tell him, danny?

• That you came here posing as my wife, that you
  opened an account in new york so you could cash
  the check

• After you kill me, but you plan to make it look
  like I was crazy.

78

• and levine himself will make a reservation at
  the rest home.

• Where are the keys to my car?

• Where are you going?

• I dont know, to look for elizabeth, anywhere!
  But Im not staying here!

• I run out, come back I thought you were gone!

• Nobodys going anywhere. The partys over. Ive
  got the proof Ive been looking for, the one part
  of your plan that doesnt fit.

79

• Yes?

• My key doesnt fit your car!