Emotions: Feeling, thinking, and communicating

1
EmotionsFeeling, thinking, and communicating

• Chapter topics

• What are Emotions?
• Influences on Emotional Expression
• Guidelines for Expressing Emotions
• Managing Difficult Emotions

2
What Are Emotions?

• Physiological Factors
• Strong emotions are coupled with strong
  physiological factors
• Physical components of fear
• Increased heart rate
• Rise in blood pressure
• Increase in adrenaline secretions
• Elevated blood sugar
• A slowing of the digestive system

3
What are Emotions?

• Nonverbal Reactions
• Feelings are often apparent by observable
  reactions
• Appearance Changes
• Blushing, sweating, etc
• Behavioral Changes
• Facial expression
• Posture
• Gestures
• Different vocal tone or rate

4
What are Emotions?

• Cognitive Interpretations
• The mind plays an important role in determining
  emotional states
• The symptoms of fear discussed earlier are
  similar to those of excitement, joy and other
  emotions
• If you were to monitor someone having a strong
  emotional reaction, you would have a hard time
  ascertaining which emotion the person was
  experiencing

5
What are Emotions?

• Verbal Expression
• Words can be required to discover the depth or
  intensity of the emotion
• At times we cant rely on perceptiveness to be
  sure a message is communicated
• Is a new acquaintance mistaking your
  friendlessness as a come-on?
• Is a lovers unenthusiastic response a sign of
  boredom with you, or something less personal?

6
Influences on Emotional Expression

• Personality
• There is a clear relationship between personality
  and the way we experience and express emotions
• Extroverts tend to report more positive emotions
• Neurotic individuals tend to report more negative
  emotions
• Personality doesnt have to govern your
  communication satisfaction

7
Influences on Emotional Expression

• Culture
• A significant factor that influences emotional
  expression in different cultures is whether that
  culture is
• Individualistic (United States and Canada)
• These cultures feel comfortable revealing their
  emotions to people with whom they are close
• Collectivistic (Japan and India)
• These cultures prize harmony and discourage
  expressions of negative emotions which may upset
  relationships

8
Influences on Emotional Expression

• Gender
• Biological sex is the best predictor of the
  ability to detect/interpret emotional expression
• Research suggests that there is some truth to the
  unexpressive male
• In one study, females were 10-15 more accurate
  in remembering emotional images
• People in close relationships are likely to
  experience/express more emotions than those who
  are not

9
Influences on Emotional Expression

• Social Conventions
• The unwritten rules of communication discourage
  the direct expression of emotion
• How many genuine emotional expressions do you or
  we see in daily life?
• Social rules even discourage too much expression
  of positive feelings
• Emotion Labor
• Managing or even suppressing emotions is both
  appropriate and necessary

10
Influences on Emotional Expression

• Fear of Self-Disclosure
• In a society that discourages the expression of
  emotions, revealing them can seem risky
• Emotional Contagion
• The process by which emotions are transferred
  from one person to another
• Is it possible to catch someones mood?
• Emotions become more infectious with prolonged
  contact

11
Guidelines for Expressing Emotion

• There is not a universal rule for expression of
  emotion
• Personality, culture, gender, play a part
• The key is to express emotion constructively
• Think about a time when you expressed your
  emotion clearly, then wish you hadnt.
• Those who control their feelings and deny
  distress are more likely to get a host of
  ailments, including cancer and heart disease

12
Guidelines for Expressing Emotion

• Recognize Your Feelings
• Beyond being aware, also try to identify
• Recognize the difference between feeling, talking
  and acting
• Expand your emotional vocabulary
• Share multiple feelings
• You might often express anger but overlook
  confusion, disappointment or frustration

13
Guidelines for Expressing Emotion

• Consider When and Where to Express Your Feelings
• Give yourself time to discover the gravity of the
  emotion before full expression
• Accept responsibility for your feelings
• Instead of saying
• Youre making me angry! try Im getting
  angry.
• You hurt my feelings, say I feel hurt when you
  do that.

14
Guidelines for Expressing Emotion

• Be Mindful of the Communication Channel
• Mediated Channels
• Email
• Instant Message
• SMS Message
• Is it appropriate to end a relationship via
  voicemail?
• What is the result of using CAPITAL LETTERS in an
  instant message or email?

15
Managing Difficult Emotions

• Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions
• Facilitative Emotions
• Are emotions which contribute to effective
  functioning
• Debilitative Emotions
• Are emotions which detract from effective
  functioning
• Intensity
• Anger or irritation may be beneficial
• Rage usually makes matters worse

16
Managing Difficult Emotions

• Sources of Debilitative Emotions
• Our genetic makeup
• Emotional memory
• Harmless events can trigger debilitative feelings
• Self-talk

17
Managing Difficult Emotions

• Self-Talk
• Interpretations people make of an event, during
  the process of self-talk that determine their
  feelings
• Event Thought Feeling
• Being called names Ive done something
  wrong. hurt, upset
• Being called names My friend must be
  sick. concern, sympathy

18
Managing Difficult Emotions

• Irrational Thinking
• The Fallacies
• The Fallacy of Perfection
• The belief that a worthwhile communication should
  be able to handle every situation
• The Fallacy of Approval
• That it is vital to gain the approval of
  virtually every person

19
Managing Difficult Emotions

• Irrational Thinking
• The Fallacy of Shoulds
• The inability to distinguish between what is and
  what should be
• The Fallacy of Overgeneralization
• Basing a decision on limited information
• When we exaggerate shortcomings
• The Fallacy of Causation
• The irrational belief that emotions are caused by
  others rather than by ones own self-talk

20
Managing Difficult Emotions

• Irrational Thinking
• The Fallacy of Helplessness
• Satisfaction in life is determined by forces
  beyond your control
• The Fallacy of Catastrophic Expectations
• The assumption that if something bad can happen,
  then it is going to happen

21
Managing Difficult Emotions

• Minimizing Debilitative Emotions
• Monitor your emotional reactions
• Note the activating event
• Record your self-talk
• Reappraise your irrational beliefs
• Replace self-defeating self-talk with more
  constructive thinking

22
Chapter Review

• What are Emotions?
• Influences on Emotional Expression
• Guidelines for Expressing Emotions
• Managing Difficult Emotions