Words that Work: How Men Use Language With Children

1
Words that Work How Men Use Language With
Children

• Josh Thompson
• Texas AM University-Commerce
• Stephen Garretson
• The University of Texas at Arlington

2
Words that Work How Men Use Language With
Children

• Josh Thompson
• Texas AM University-Commerce
• Stephen Garretson
• The University of Texas at Arlington

3
Words that Work How Men Use Language With
Children

• Josh Thompson
• Texas AM University-Commerce
• Stephen Garretson
• The University of Texas at Arlington

4
Words that Work How Men Use Language With
Children

• Josh Thompson
• Texas AM University-Commerce
• Stephen Garretson
• The University of Texas at Arlington

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• Open, shut them, Open, shut them, Give a little
  clap, clap, clap!
• Open, shut them, Open, shut them, Put them in
  your lap, lap, lap.
• Creep them, Creep them, Slowly creep them, All
  the way up to your chin.
• Open up your little mouth but do not let them
  in.
• Run them, Run them, Run them, Run them, All the
  way down to your toes.
• Run them, Run them, Run them, Run them, back
  up to your nose.
• Jump them, Jump them, Jump them, Jump them, Jump
  them to your knees.
• Jump them, Jump them, Jump them, Jump them,
  cover your eyes so you cant see
• Peek-a-boo.
• Sung by Alleyoop

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What do you hear?

• Suzanne - 4 yr old, wanders
• 3-4 year olds
• Different expectations than with toddlers
• Experience brought out voice contours
• Involve the kids in what you are doing
• Whats your plan?
• Go over, kneel down, ask
• Could be bored
• Whos the teacher here?

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What do you hear?

• Suzanne - 4 yr old, wanders
• Bob 6 yr old, scoops
• 6-12 yr olds trouble sometimes knowing when to
  take the leader role, when to follow
• Encouraging words, redirect, right now .

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What do you hear?

• Suzanne - 4 yr old, wanders
• Bob 6 yr old, scoops
• Jimmy 8 yr old, whines
• Frustrated
• Use humor, satire
• Find out why, at home, classroom, elswhere
• Take them aside, its okay
• Separate from the group for redirecting
• Let him lead
• Bibliotherapy use books to give him ideas how
  to deal with his upsets
• Social stories

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What do you hear?

• Suzanne - 4 yr old, wanders
• Bob 6 yr old, scoops
• Jimmy 8 yr old, whines
• Laura 18 yr old, yells
• Find out why, what are her frustrations, what are
  her buttons,
• Lead by example
• Validate, affirm, mentor, show that youve been
  there before
• Explain and empower
• Heads up

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Unidimensional model (Tanner 1994, p. 27)
Power lt-gt Solidarity
Asymmetry lt-gt Symmetry
Hierarchy lt-gt Equality
Distance lt-gt Closeness
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Multidimensional model(adapted from Tannen 1994,
p.28)
Grandparent-grandchild Hierarchy Employer - employee
Closeness Distance
Siblings Equality Co-workers or Neighbors
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A question

• Cringe
• What do women do that makes some men cringe?
• Novelty
• Meaningful Touch 2006 Frances Carlson
• Big Body Play Frances Carlson

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What are some ways you were invited into the ECE
field

• Children welcomed
• Mentors
• Redirected by administrators
• Learning how to become a good dad
• I wont grow up!
• Needed answers myself

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• Children need engaging caregivers. Men in ECE
  resemble female caregivers, but also differ in
  many ways. How men use language to do things with
  young children is one of them.

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Some big ideas (assumptions)

• Fathers, and other men, care about the children
  in their lives, though perhaps in different ways
  than Teachers and Caregivers assume.
• Teachers and Caregivers are gatekeepers - we have
  information concerning the development and
  'schooling' of the child that could help the dad.
  
• Our own attitudes sometimes interfere with
  building constructive collaborations.

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Nelson (2002)

• Three possible explanations for so few men in ECE
  
• Perceived as womens work
• Low pay, unrewarding
• Fear of misunderstood motives

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How can EC teachers/caregivers help fathers?

• Story time book reading
• Mealtimes
• Games
• Driving
• Homework Helps
• Meeting people
• Prayer, meditation, centering on interior life
• Making peace, reconciling
• Being a warrior becoming a lover

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http//tinyurl.com/cmaeycSurveyAboutMenT

• THIS IS A 22 ITEM ELECTRONIC SURVEY, ELICITING
  ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIORS OF TEACHERS CAREGIVERS.
  THE DEMOGRAPHIC AND WORK-RELATED EXPERIENCE
  FACTORS SHOULD PROVIDE AMPLE LEVERAGE TO EXTRACT
  IMPORTANT PARTS PIECES FROM THE ANSWERS TO THE
  ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOR QUESTIONS.

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• A 2009 Father's Day challenge from Bill Cosby
• "We are calling on men, all men--the successful
  and the unsuccessful, the affluent and the poor,
  the married and the unmarried--to come and claim
  their children. You can run the biggest drug
  cartel in America or win the Super Bowl, but if
  you havent claimed your children, you are not a
  man. No matter how useless or hopeless a father
  may think he is, his role is simply to be there.
  If he makes that commitment, he is a much better
  man than he thought he was.
• National Rally of Responsible Fatherhood 2009

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Words that Work How Men Use Language With
Children http//tinyurl.com/cmaeycSurveyAboutMen
T

• Josh Thompson
• Texas AM University-Commerce
• Stephen Garretson
• The University of Texas at Arlington