Skills and Conditions for Effective Communication Lecture 13a

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Skills and Conditions for Effective
CommunicationLecture 13a
COMMUNICATION IN EVERYDAY LIFE
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REVIEW CREATION AND COMMUNICATION OF MEANING

• Most of the internal Natural Acts that enable our
  communication - perception, cognition, are
  schematic.
• They begin in the emotional areas of our brain
• Expressed through our non-verbals
• Out of our conscious control
• Automatic, fast, and certain
• High probability of being inaccurate in
  complicated situations
• Most of our external Natural Acts are
• How we express these internal reactions
• Self-protective, judgmental and controlling in
  complicated situations

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CONCLUSIONS OF REVIEW

• To be truly effective communicators in
  complicated situations we need to perform

Unnatural Acts!
These include acts of emotional self-management.
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Emotional Self-Management
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THE VOICE OF SELF-MANAGEMENT
THE ADULT VOICE THE ADULT VOICE THE ADULT VOICE
Words Like Vocal Tone Non-Verbals
Information-seeking questions Modulated Appropriate Attentive, Engaged
Descriptive This is how I see it, These are the facts, as I understand them. I seems to me... Controlled, Calm. Open posture, Eye Contact
Uses I-messages I see, hear, understand, feel, believe Corresponds to Feelings Relaxed Thoughtful
Collaborative Lets see what we can do... Confident Smiles, nods or shows concern when appropriate
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Emotional Self-Management

• Change hot to cool reactions
• We can learn to change our thinking and
  self-talk to manage our feelings from
• Rage, Fury Anger,
• Despair, Depression
• Severe Guilt, Remorse
• Self-hate
• Severe Hurt
• Anxiety, fear, panic

• To cooler feelings and effective interpersonal
  talk
• Annoyance, Irritation
• Sadness
• Regret
• Self-Disappointment
• Mild Bruising
• Concern

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Emotional Self-managment

• When you change from HOT TO COOL FEELINGS
• Cool your body down
• Heart over 100 beats a minute - starts
  biochemistry of emotional hi-jack
• Breathe from the diaphragm - the belly
• Relax muscles
• Gives you and everybody else some room for
  negotiation
• Allows you find your adult voice (ta) - calmer,
  more centered, engaging