Improving your writing

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Improving your writing

• Comma Splices
• Fused sentences
• Run-on Sentences
• Fixing Fragments

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Clause Refresher

• Definition of a Clause part of a sentence with
  its own subject and predicate
• Definition of Predicate unit of a verb and all
  words modifying the verb - example is here in
  Larry is here.
• Clause Example The sentence
• Mary has a friend who is rich
• contains a main clause and
• a subordinate clause (one that relies on the
  main for meaning)
• Which is which? WHY???

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fix those bad sentences!!!

• Definitions of a comma splice and a fused
  sentence
• A comma splice contains two main clauses
  illegally joined by a comma. The problem looks
  like this
• main clause , another main clause COMMA
  SPLICE.
• A fused sentence, on the other hand, contains two
  main clauses illegally run together with no
  punctuation. The problem looks like this
• main clause another main clause FUSED
  SENTENCE.

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More professional writing

• Comma splices and fused sentences make you look
  like an amateur because they tell your reader
  that you cannot control the construction of a
  sentence.
• So, how do you make your writing more
  professional???
• Julie is a real hypochondriac when her stomach
  hurts, she is certain that she has a bleeding
  ulcer, and if she has a backache, she believes
  that she has cancer of the spine.
• First - Is this sentence a comma splice?
• Or is it a fused sentence?
• WHY???
• NOW how do we fix it?

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Strategy 1 Make two complete sentences.

• Because comma splices and fused sentences contain
  two main clauses, you can always
• add a period at the end of the first clause then
  
• begin the second with a capital letter.
• Grandma still rides her Harley motorcycle her toy
  poodle balances in a basket between the
  handlebars.
• Correct the above sentence
• with Strategy 1.

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Strategy 2 Use a comma anda coordinating
conjunction.

• There are seven coordinating conjunctions.
• Some students remember the seven by learning the
  word fanboys.
• Each of the seven letters of fanboys stands for
  one of the coordinating conjunctions.
• F for
• A and
• N nor
• B but
• O or
• Y yet
• S so

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fix the problem with Strategy 2

• Remember that you must use a coordinating
  conjunction that logically joins the two complete
  sentences.
• But, for example, would not work in the example
  below because the writer is NOT showing contrast.
• Teamed up with a comma, the seven coordinating
  conjunctions can correctly join two main clauses.
• Correct the example sentence
• with Strategy 2
• Grandma still rides her Harley
• motorcycle her toy poodle
• balances in a basket between
• the handlebars.

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Strategy 3 Use a semicolon.

• Unlike a comma, a semicolon IS a strong
• enough mark of punctuation to join
• two main clauses.
• Keep these things in mind when you use a
  semicolon
• - 1) The two main clauses that the semicolon
  joins should be closely related in meaning.
• - 2) Do NOT capitalize the word that follows the
  semicolon UNLESS that word is a proper noun,
  which is always capitalized anyway.

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• Correct the example sentence with Strategy 3
• Grandma still rides her Harley motorcycle her
  toy poodle balances in a basket between the
  handlebars.
• Good writers mix things up!
• KEEP IN MIND
• Limit your use of semicolons
• you should not wantonly scatter
• them throughout your writing.

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Strategy 4 Use a conjunction.

• First, here is a list to remind you of
  conjunctions we have covered before
• After although as
• because before even if
• even though in order that If
• once provided that rather than
• since so that than
• that though unless
• until when whenever
• where whereas wherever
• whether while why

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Using conjunctions

• When you are fixing a comma splice or fused
  sentence, subordinating conjunctions can be the
  most tricky to use.
• There are two reasons they are tricky
• 1) there are many to choose from, and
• 2) you must use the right punctuation.
• Now fix original problem sentence using Strategy
  4
• Grandma still rides her Harley motorcycle her toy
  poodle balances in a basket between the
  handlebars.

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• A good writer can fix problem sentences using
  all four strategies
• adding a period and a capital letter
• using a comma and a conjunction
• joining the two main clauses with a semicolon
• subordinating one part with a subordinate
  conjunction.
• Now it is your turn. With a partner, correct the
  following sentence with each of the four
  strategies you just learned.
• http//www.chompchomp.com/rules/csfsrules.htm
• Most Freshmen feel overwhelmed by the workload
  in their college courses they usually spend more
  time socializing then studying

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Check Ms. Bailey

• 1- Most freshmen feel overwhelmed by the workload
  in their college courses. They usually spend
  more time socializing than studying.
• 2- Most freshmen feel overwhelmed by the workload
  in their college courses, because they usually
  spend more time socializing than studying.
• 3- Most freshmen feel overwhelmed by the workload
  in their college courses they usually spend more
  time socializing than studying.
• 4- Most freshmen feel overwhelmed by the workload
  in their college courses, and usually spend more
  time socializing than studying.

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Run-On Sentences

• The length of a sentence has nothing to do with
  whether or not a sentence is considered a run-on.
• An over-exuberant, run-off-at-the-mouth, 400-word
  gorilla of a sentence can be structurally fine.
• A run-on sentence is one in
• which two clauses have
• been connected incorrectly.

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Avoiding Run-on Sentences

• There are three situations in which run-on
  sentences are apt to happen
• 1. When a pronoun in the second clause refers to
  a noun in the first clause
• The Presidents popularity has plummeted, she
  apparently underestimated the opposition.
• 2. When a suggestion or directive occurs in the
  second clause
• You will be responsible for this material on
  the final exam, study it thoroughly
  now.
• 3. When two clauses are connected by a
  conjunction
• Many people think protectionism can halt rising
  prices, however, the opposite is actually true.
• YIKERS!! FIX THESE SENTENCES!

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Check yourself

• 1. The Presidents popularity has plummeted, and
  she apparently underestimated the opposition.
• 2. You will be responsible for this material on
  the final exam. Study it thoroughly now.
• 3. Many people think protectionism can halt
  rising prices however, the opposite is actually
  true.

Charles Darling, PhD
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Fragments

• The first thing you MUST be able to do is
  recognize the difference between a sentence and a
  fragment.
• Simply put
• a fragment does NOT contain a main clause.
• When you analyze a group of words looking for
  the main clause, you have to find three things a
  subject, a verb, and a complete thought.
• If one of these three items is missing, a
  fragment results.

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examples of fragments

• And yawned loudly enough to make everyone in
  class turn around.
• NO subject verb yawned NO complete thought.
• The boy sitting on the fire escape dropping water
  balloons on the pedestrians below.
• Subject boy NO verb NO complete thought.
• After Gabriel ate half a box of Devil Dogs.
• Subject Gabriel verb ate
• NO complete thought .

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Watch words for fragment identification

• Here are the words to watch for that will begin
  many fragments
• After although asbecause before even
  ifeven though if in order thatonce provided
  that sinceso that is implied so that than
• that though unlessuntil when wheneverwh
  ere whereas whereverwhether which whichever
  while who whoeverwhom whomever whose
• Anything Look Familiar?

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correct that fragment! A how to

• 1) add the necessary main clause
• 2) connect the fragment to a main clause already
  in the passage.
• 3) remove a subordinating conjunction
• Remember Whether you add
• or connect, you must use the
• right punctuation.

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Examples

• Because Chase caught the eye of the beautiful
  brunette in algebra.
• Because subordinate conjunction Chase
  subject caught verb.
• What happened? Was he able to cheat on the test?
  Did he quickly ask her for a date? The thought is
  incomplete.
• Until Rachel notices the toilet paper stuck to
  her shoe.
• Until subordinate conjunction Rachel
  subject notices verb.
• What will happen? Will she embarrass her date?
  Will people at the restaurant stare? Another
  incomplete thought.
• Even though Fred stuck straws up his nose.
• Even though subordinate conjunction Fred
  subject stuck verb.
• What happened? Could he still not pass as a
  walrus? Did the McDonald's manager offer him a
  job anyway? This thought is incomplete too!

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Some fragments begin or end with an ing or ed
word

• Sunning themselves on the hot concrete until they
  heard human feet crashing down the sidewalk.
• Twirling the baton with the speed and ferocity of
  helicopter blades.
• Sucked down the pipe with a hearty slurp.
• Hidden in the bureau drawer underneath a pile of
  mismatched socks.

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infinitive phrase fragments

• INFINITIVE Definition to verb
• Although more words will follow to finish the
  phrase, you will not find a main clause to finish
  the thought.
• An infinitive phraseby itselfcannot be a
  sentence.
• Examples of Infinitive Verb Fragments
• Only to watch in dismay as Dr. Frazier poured her
  chemistry experiment into the sink.
• To catch butterflies for her biology project.
• To break a piece of plywood with his bare hands.

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Afterthought Fragments

• An afterthought does not contain a main clause
• Watch for these words especially, except,
  excluding, for example, for instance, including,
  like, and such as.
• Examples of Afterthought Fragments
• For example, leaky pens, candy wrappers, dollar
  bills, and paperclips.
• Including the dog with three legs and the cat
  with one eye.
• Such as leaving the stove on and teasing mean
  dogs.

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Lonely Verb Fragments

• Writers will sometimes forget to
• include a subject in a sentence.
• The result is a verb pining for its partner.
• A lonely verb fragment will often begin with a
  coordinating conjunction
• and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet
• The marker for a lonely verb fragment will be the
  immediate expression of action.
• Remember that a verb alone cannot be a sentence.

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Lonely verb fragments

• And dashed through the downpour as raindrops
  softened the hairspray shell holding her
  elaborate coif in place.
• But knew that all of his effort would prove
  useless in the long run.
• Took the thick book and, with a heavy sigh,
  loaded it on top of her research pile.

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Appositive Fragments

• Appositive Definition
• a noun phrase that renames and clarifies another
  noun.
• Because an appositive can be long, writers
  sometimes mistake them for a complete sentence.
• By itself an appositive is not a sentence.

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Appositive fragment examples

• The unprepared student who was always begging for
  an extra pencil and a couple sheets of blank
  paper.
• A slacker wasting his afternoon
• in front of the television.
• A dog around whom people need
• to guard their fingers and food.

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fix these fragment s

• Because Chase caught the eye of the beautiful
  brunette in algebra.
• Sunning themselves on the hot concrete until they
  heard human feet crashing down the sidewalk.
• Only to watch in dismay as Dr. Frazier poured her
  chemistry experiment into the sink.
• For example, leaky pens, candy wrappers, dollar
  bills, and paperclips.
• And dashed through the downpour as raindrops
  softened the hairspray shell holding her
  elaborate coif in place.
• The unprepared student who was always begging for
  an extra pencil and a couple sheets of blank
  paper.

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put your new knowledge to work!

• You are going to peer edit, but
• you are going to start at the end.
• BTW, This is also a SUPER way to self-edit.
• Beginning at the end, evaluate every sentence
• Is there a comma splice? Use this mark CS
• Is it a fragment? Use this mark frag.
• Is it a run-on? Use this mark R-O