Jealousy, Envy, Conflict, Backstabber, Gossiping, Blamer

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Jealousy, Envy, Conflict, Backstabber, Gossiping,
Blamer Bully At Workplace
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You may meet or experience with jealousy, envy,
conflict, office politic, backstabber, blamer,
gossiping and bully at workplace. This happen
everywhere, anywhere and anytime. Just be
prepare, it may happen to you.
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Jealousy. . .
As much as we hate to admit it, we've all been
jealous of someone else at one time or another.
We hate to admit it because the emotion we feel
is a deep, dark, nasty feeling. Jealousy is the
surface lesion that hints at the real wound a
sense of personal loss, a lowering of self-esteem
and, at times, a feeling of self-criticism. These
deeper emotions seep out in the form of anger and
they can be tough to deal with in the workplace,
where there is competition for rewards and
opportunities.
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Both envy and jealousy share the roots of
insecurity and unhealthy competition. They can
grow in intensity until they turn into conflict
in the workplace.
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Conflict in the workplace . . .

• A condition between or among workers who are
• Interdependent in some way
• Who feel angry
• Who perceive the other(s) as being at fault
• Acting in ways that create a business problem

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Conflict occurs . . .

• when two or more parties
• believe that their interests are incompatible
• express hostile attitudes
• take action that damages other parties ability
  to pursue their interests

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Conflict is inevitable when in groups. Theres no
guarantee that everyone will always get along, do
their share of the work, or always agree in their
ideas and opinions the most important part is to
know how to solve the conflict and to be aware of
the different conflict resolution styles
available to help you do so. The four styles are
unassertive, cooperative, aggressive and wily.
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Office Politics. . .
Politics the other face of the creative,
innovative and manipulative and human mind, which
always seeks power, recognition and
authority. Office politics refers to the use and
manipulation of situations, power and people to
secure their position, gain from the situation,
let others down or even increase their own power,
image and status within the organisation. The
results or the benefits can be tangible or
intangible, depending upon the situation.
Politics at workplace is a game can be played
equally well by a single player or teams
together, can result in the interest and benefit
of the organisation or go against it, can benefit
those who dont play or can throw them out of the
organisation. It is a double edged sword which
can either create a happy, dynamic and improved
environment at the workplace or can destroy it.
Politics at workplace is often hard to resist and
be away from. It compels and makes you compete.
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It doesnt matter how well grounded you are as a
person how polite and friendly you are or even
how much you know about office etiquette, the one
thing you can never avoid in the workplace is
office politics. Wherever you have a group of
people with different personalities, sets of
values and opinions which means just about
everywhere, youre going to come across office
politics at some time or other. And, whilst that
cant be avoided, its important to know how to
manage the situation for yourself. Office
politics has made employees good actors, hiding
the facts and even true self from their own
colleagues and organisation and being hypocrites
for their reasons.
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Office politics are a part and parcel of
professional life and if you work in a corporate
environment, you would probably have met your
share of back stabbers. There are several forms
of backstabbing that can be identified at the
workplace. Some of the more prominent ones are
given below. Lets say you are assigned a project
work that another colleague wanted to take up.
When jealousy prevails over ethics, the
individual starts backstabbing you. This can be
in the form of spreading rumors about your
incompetency at work, gossiping about your
weaknesses to others, or projecting your faults
negatively in front of others in meetings.
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Back Stabbers. . .
A back stabber in your office will stab you on
your back very hard and really fast with a hidden
sweet knife. A back stabber can be your old
friend, your new colleague, or your senior or
junior. In front of you, a back stabber will try
to show you by his ways that he is your best mate
but at your back and when you are not there, he
will change everything exactly opposite of what
he will be showing in front of you. He will
make you seem lazy, untrustworthy, and
incompetent. A back stabber will do that in a way
that everyone else will believe to what he/she is
saying.
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Gossiping or Spread Rumors
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Another factor that contributes to the spreading
of rumors or gossiping is access to easy
distribution. As email and the Internet became
prevalent, the means of spreading a rumors grew
exponentially. With one click ok, a few clicks
you could spread a rumor you got via email to
all your contacts, or by posting the rumor on a
blog, web page, or forum. Email rumours are very
common. Sometimes we spread rumors in a mindless
way, without being aware of how many ways rumours
hurt people. 
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Bully. . .
Most bully behaviour starts early on and
continues for as long as it is allowed, first in
school, and later in the workplace. The school
bully and the workplace bully have a lot in
common, even the proportion of bullies to others
is about the same in schools and in the
workplace. 
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Why people bully at the workplace The first
reason why people bully at work is that they lack
good people skills, they just don't know how to
hold employees accountable in a direct and
respectful way. The second reason why people
bully others is because they can get away with
it. When someone decides not to take it anymore
and stands up to the abuse, bullying is pretty
much over, the abuse stops. At work, the abusive
personality will go after those who do not have
power, those that cannot get them in trouble and
those who do not make waves.
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Blamers. . .
A blamer will always thrive to blame on someone
or other the mistakes he/she has done. Learning
why they do this is very important. To do this in
order to put their leg on your shoulders and
climb the ladder of success leaving you behind.
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Key Points

• Conflict in the workplace . . .
• is inevitable occurs because people care about
  what they are doing
• needs to be looked at as an opportunity
• can be productive or nonproductive can be good
  or ugly
• depends on how the disagreements are handled and
  if they are necessary to getting things done

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By solving problem and misunderstanding between
the colleagues or staffs is the only solution
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Question yourself
Do you gossip? Do you back stab? Do you spread
roumours? Do you engage in conflict? Do you get
jealous?
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Mend your ways
If you find some negative traits in yourself try
and change them. Always be polite humble and show
warmth towards other. Boost the self esteem and
confidence of your co workers by sharing your
success and experiences.
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Make sincere change
In case you have been arrogant in the past,
apologize and show a change of heart. However,
dont show that you fear jealousy from collegues
but make a sincere change instead.
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Win respect from peers
Show consideration for your team members. In most
cases, they will start leaning towards you, thus
isolating your detractors. You may be left with
only two critics who may change over a period of
time.
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Pre-empt jealousy
You can get hints from you colleagues / team
members that they are beginning to dislake you.
Once you foresee something like this get into
action. Share credit where it is due and
sometimes, even when it is not. Be humble and
dont lose your respect.
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Find allies in high places
Seek help from someone in the top management.
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Voice your problem
Dont appear weak and defenseless. Discuss the
matter with your seniors in a formal manner.
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Nail the culprit
Keep a record of the arguments you have with the
jealous individual and maintain some proof of the
incident. For e.g. He sends you a nasty email,
dont reply back via mail. See that she /he has
none of your words in writing. But keep a record
of his/ her hostility.
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Make concessions
Remember you are striving to avoid a huge fight,
hence give him / her every opportunity to back
down. If she/ he acts unusually nice accept it
graciously even though you may suspect hidden
intentions. The gesture might be an honest one.
Try and spread the news that you are making an
effort to better relaionships.
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BULLY BOSS TOUGH BOSS
Talks down to people Talks respectfully to people
Yells Does not yell
Curses Does not curse
Is arrogant Is confident
Is judgmental and critical Gives good and bad feedback, encourages learning
Spreads vicious rumors about others that dont go along with his/her program Deals with dissention openly, welcomes debate but seeks alignment once debate is over
Shows favoritism to those that go along with his/her program Treats all employees equitably
Intimidates in a physical way His nonverbal behavior comes across as respectful and professional
Enlists others in ostracizing the target of his/her abuse Deals with person in question using accepted channels
Holds accountable only those that are targets, others are cut some slack Holds all employees accountable