Revision Station

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Revision Station
For Transactive Writing Only
FOR ALL TYPES OF WRITING
For Personal Literary Writing Only
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Peer Reading

• Trade drafts with another person.
• Place ? in the margin beside a place that are
  confusing.
• What questions do you have about that part?
  Write a question to help the writer understand
  what you are confused about.
• When you get your writing back, address the
  questions your peer reader had.

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Content - UNITY

• Do you have at least 3 paragraphs?
• Do the sentences in your paragraphs have unity -
  all stick to one main idea?
• In the margin identify your main ideas and
  double-check each sentence to make sure it goes
  with that main idea.
• If you have details that do not go with the main
  idea, then do this
• Make new paragraph if its too small, youll
  need to add detail to it (see Idea Development).
• Move detail to different paragraph where it fits
  better.
• Delete detail (last resort only)

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Idea DevelopmentIts All in the Details!

• Where are the boring or empty places in your
  writing? (HINT The places with little detail or
  explanation.)
• Add details where needed (see Idea Development on
  next few pages).

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IDEA DEVELOPMENTDetails!

• Identify in the margin the following details in
  your writing.
• Snapshots description in the narrative, such as
  sensory details.
• If you have less than 3 snapshots, add at least 3
  more were needed.

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IDEA DEVELOPMENT

• Identify in the margin the following details in
  your writing
• Thoughtshots thoughts and feelings
• Flashbacks triggering past memories of related
  events or causes.
• Flashforwards predicting outcomes of actions or
  anticipating what others will say or do.
• Brain argument character or narrator argue
  about what is going on and what to do about it.
• If you have less than 3 thoughtshots, then add at
  least 3 more of any of the above.

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IDEA DEVELOP0MENTDialogue Check(Not for poetry)

• If you answer no for any of the below, it needs
  to be fixed.
• Do you have dialogue?
• Does it sound real? Would someone really say
  this in a conversation?
• Are the characters doing something while they
  talk? Does the narration show this? All
  dialogue and no narration makes a dull writing.

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IDEA DEVELOPMENT

• Identify in the margin the following in your
  writing
• Similes or Metaphors comparison of two things.
• Simile (using like or as) - My love is like a
  red, red rose.
• Metaphor - My love is a red, red rose.
• Personification giving human characteristics to
  inanimate objects.
• The night wind whispered in my ear.
• Hyperbole an exaggeration
• The whipped cream was piled a mile high!
• Onomatopoeia sound words
• The skillet clanged to the floor.
• Add at least 3 of these details, and more if
  youre writing poetry.

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IDEA DEVELOPMENT

• Identify the following details in your writing
• Examples
• Facts statement that can be proven true.
• Statistics - fact stated in numbers.
• Quotations an exact quote from an expert.
• Reasons
• Comparisons
• Visuals pictures, diagrams, charts, etc.
• For each paragraph, you should have at least 2
  details (may be 2 of the same or different ones).
• Have you written your information in your own
  words? Do NOT use another sources writing
  without either quoting directly (---) or
  phrasing in your OWN words.

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Introductions

• Write an idea for an introduction for 3 of the
  types below
• Question (answered or rhetorical)
• Unusual fact or interesting detail
• Mystery statement
• Humorous statement
• Action or Story
• Dialogue
• Quotation
• Command or Persuasive Statement
• Choose the best one and write a complete
  introduction for your writing.
• Do NOT use phrases like the following
• Im going to tell you about . . .
• This paper/writing/essay is about . . .

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Conclusions

• Be brief. Use any of the following
• Asking a rhetorical question to make a point.
• Unusual or interesting statement.
• Interesting description
• Making a recommendation or proposing a solution.
• Summing up main idea of whole writing.
• Leave the reader with something to think about,
  laugh at, remember, etc.
• You might tie back to something in the
  introduction.
• Dont say In conclusion, or tell the reader
  youre glad they read your piece, etc.

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Titles are Important Too!

• Is your title catchy or boring?
• Brainstorm a list of 5 different titles to catch
  the readers attention.
• Share with a someone else.
• Choose the best one.

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Last Chance to Check Idea Development!

• On your paper, rank your ideas/ points/reasons
  from most important to least (or vice versa) by
  placing a number above each separate one.
• Write your next draft with these points in the
  order you ranked them.
• Each point should have its OWN paragraph.
• How many examples do you have for each point? If
  you have none, then youre not done adding
  details.

Personal Transactive Only
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Write a 2ND draft before you go on to the next
section!
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Structure - Coherence

• Identify how you organized your writing
• Chronological by time?
• Importance what is most important to least or
  vice versa?
• Degree ranking information (similar to
  Importance).
• Cause and Effect what happened and what caused
  it?
• Comparison and Contrast
• If you cannot identify an order, youve got an
  organization problem.
• Put your main ideas in a logical order
• Numbering your paragraphs/stanzas so you will
  know in what order they need to be rewritten for
  the next draft.
• OR cut up your writing into paragraphs/stanzas
  and rearrange them in the proper order. Tape or
  glue them on another sheet of paper.

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Structure - Transitions
NOT FOR POETRY!

• Do your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next?
  Or do they jump from idea to idea?
• Underline the transition words you have used.
• Where you have no connections between ideas, add
  words, phrases, or sentences to connect your
  ideas more smoothly for the reader.
• See List of Transition Words as examples

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List of Transition Words
after after a few days after awhile after
all after that afterward all in
all although another example as a general rule as
a result as soon as as we have seen at first at
last at that time at the same time at this
point because before besides beyond
by the way by this time consequently finally first
for instance for example for now for one
thing for the time being from now
on furthermore gradually however in a little
while in addition in any case in fact in other
words in particular in the beginning in the first
place
in the same way incidentally last later later
on let me explain likewise meanwhile naturally nev
ertheless next now obviously of course on the
other hand once once again perhaps second since so
metimes soon specifically
suddenly the first/second step the following
example the next step then third this takes us
to though to begin to begin with to illustrate my
point to put it differently to start off to sum
up until usually what happened next when you see

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Structure - Sentences
NOT FOR POETRY!

• Use a ruler and measure each sentence in your
  essay.
• Jot down the measurement in the margin.
• Where there are short sentences all together, you
  may need to be combine some of them into longer
  sentences.
• Sentences that are too long may be run-ons and
  need to be broken up.

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Structure - Sentences
NOT FOR POETRY!

• On a sheet of paper, write down the first 2-3
  words of each sentence.
• Do you have the same beginnings for many of your
  sentences?
• Rewrite these sentences to include variety.

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Structure - Sentences
NOT FOR POETRY!

• Below are examples of different types of
  sentences. Make sure you have a variety.
• With a red marker, underline simple sentences
  like these
• Bob walked into the store. He bought a new
  shirt. He paid with a credit card.
• Fix these sentences by making them into compound
  sentences like
• Bob walked into the store, and the clerk helped
  him pick out a shirt. He choose a green one, and
  his mom paid for it with a credit card.
• OR complex sentences like
• After paying with a credit card, Bob went home.

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Structure - Sentences
NOT FOR POETRY!

• Sentence ERRORS to Fix
• Add to fragments, incomplete sentences.
• Because we all wore costumes. What else?
  Incomplete idea.
• No one could tell us apart because we all wore
  costumes.
• Separate run-on sentences with end marks, NOT
  commas.
• NO - Scott raced up the court his defender
  closed in.
• STILL NO Scott raced up the court, his
  defender closed in.
• YES Scott raced up the court. His defender
  closed in.
• OR BETTER Scott raced up the court as his
  defender closed in.
• Stringy sentences are run-on sentences that
  string together sentences with and.
• NO The temperature fell below zero, and a
  water main under the street burst, and soon we
  had our own skating rink, and then a work crew
  turned the water off.
• YES The temperature fell below zero causing a
  water main under the street to burst. Soon we
  had our own skating rink until a work crew turned
  the water off.
• Empty Sentences repeat an idea or leaves the
  reader asking why?
• NO Are you a procrastinator, and do you put
  things off until tomorrow? (A procrastinator is
  a person who puts things off. Delete one of the
  two ideas.)
• YES Are you a procrastinator?
• NO Musicals are the best shows to see. (Why?
  Explain!)
• YES Musicals are the best shows to see because
  the dances are fun to watch.
• Padded Sentences contain unnecessary words.

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Structure in Poetry

• In poetry, the reader will not know how to read
  your poem the way you want them to until you tell
  them how with line breaks and punctuation.
• Punctuation
• Where do you want the reader to pause? Insert a
  comma for a short pause and a period for a long
  pause.
• Line Breaks a new line or new stanza
• Wherever there is a pause, do you need to make a
  new line
• Or do you need a new stanza?
• Wordiness too many words in a line
• Count the syllables in each line.
• Are the lines close? If not, you may need to
  take out excessive words. Poems dont have to be
  in sentences.

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Write a 3rd draft before you go on to the next
section!
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CONVENTIONS Grammar
NOT FOR POETRY!

• Circle your BE verbs - am, is, are, was, were
• Get rid of too many BE verbs. Make your
  writing ACTIVE!
• NOT The runaway horse was ridden by the old
  rancher.
• BUT The old rancher rode the runaway horse.
• Sentence has been flipflopped.
• Read through your draft and make all verbs the
  correct tense.
• NOT Bob walked to the mall and buys a new
  shirt.
• Present tense verbs with past tense.
• USE - Bob walked to the mall and bought a new
  shirt.
• Both verbs are now past tense.

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CONVENTIONS Word ChoiceTroublesome Words

• Identify any troublesome words you may have and
  fix errors in usage.
• RULE Substitute the contraction. If it makes
  sense, use the apostrophe.
• its pronoun for a thing, its it is
  (substitute it is)
• The school celebrated its victory.
• The school celebrated it is victory? Makes NO
  sense, NO apostrophe.
• Its a beautiful thing.
• It is a beautiful thing? YES, makes sense,
  YES use apostrophe.
• your possessive pronoun, youre you are
  (substitute you are)
• Your mom is late.
• You are mom is late? Makes NO sense, NO
  apostrophe
• Youre going to be late!
• You are going to be late! YES, makes sense,
  YES use apostrophe.
• their possessive plural pronoun, theyre they
  are (substitute they are)
• Special note there a place
• whose possessive, whos who is (substitute
  who is)

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CONVENTIONS Word Choice

• Underline your action verbs.
• Replace boring verbs for more powerful, rich
  verbs.
• NOT She cried a lot.
• USE She bawled her eyes out.
• NOT He walked down the hallway.
• USE - He stomped down the hallway.

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Emotion Words!
NEGATIVE
POSITIVE
agitated aloof ambivalent angry ashamed bedraggled
befuddled belligerent bereft bewildered blamed bl
ue bothered chastised confused contrary crushed de
pressed discouraged discriminated disgusted distan
t faint frustrated guilty hated hesitant hopeless
hostile
humiliated idiotic indifferent insane insecure irr
itated jilted left-out lonely mad melancholy mocke
d moronic morose ornery overwhelmed perplexed pick
ed on pouty puny put down rebellious rejected revi
led revotted ridiculed rotten sad scared
accepted affirmed appreciated approved beautiful b
efriended calm cheerful cherished courteous ecstat
ic empowered encouraged exalted excited exhilarate
d exonerated exuberant forgiven generous happy hel
pful honored hopeful impressed included joyful
jubilant kind loved loyal needed obedient overjoye
d patient praised prepared protected proud purpose
ful recognized relaxed respected revered rewarded
safe secure sympathetic trusted understood uplifte
d useful
shattered sick slighted spoiled spooky strange str
essed subborn stupid tempermental trapped tumultuo
us ugly unhappy unprepared unruly upset useless ve
xed vulnerable weak weary worn-out
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CONVENTIONS Word Choice! Power Descriptions!

• Identify details that are trying to describe
  something, but theyre just ho-hum or boring.
• Using the List of Sensory Words or your
  thesaurus, change those boring adjectives to more
  rich and precise language.

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List of Sensory Words!
bright brilliant cloudy colored crystal
clear curved dark dull faded flapping flashing flo
ating foggy hazy large light misty murky pointed r
ound shaded spotted square stained straight stripe
d swaying swirling textured transparent twisted
beating booming buzzing chiming chugging clanking
clinking crackling crashing creaking dripping grat
ing growling honking howling humming jangling moan
ing popping roaring rustling scraping screeching s
lurping snorting sobbing splashing sputtering swis
hing whistling whizzing
bristly brittle cottony crusty dewy flexible furry
glassy gooey gritty hairy metallic moist nubby pl
eated powdery puffy rough sandy silky slick slimy
smooth spongy starchy steamy sticky stiff velvety
wiry
SIGHT
cheesy dank decayed dusty earthy flowery fresh fru
ity gassy grassy leathery mildewy musky musty mew
old perfumey pungent putrid rainy rancid rosy rott
en salty sharp smoky strong watery wet woodsy
bitter bubbly burnt buttery cheesy chocolatey dry
fishy fresh gingery juicy lemony moldy nutty oily
oniony peppery rancid salty smoky sour spicy spoil
ed stale sugary sweet tart vinegary
SOUND
TASTE
SMELL
TOUCH
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Dialogue Grammar Rules!
NOT FOR POETRY!
The passage below will give you everything you
need to know about dialogue rules. Make sure
your punctuation and paragraphing looks the same!
This is the proper way to punctuate
dialogue, the teacher told the class. Whatever
is spoken is surrounded by quotation marks, and
we use commas to set off narration. Periods and
question marks go inside the quotation marks.
Why do we need to know this? a student
questioned. Because if you dont, the
teacher explained, your reader will not
understand what you write. Oh, okay, the
student said. One more thing, the teacher
added. Each speaker gets a new paragraph. Move
down to the next line and indent.
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Dialogue Power for Speaker TagsChange all those
saids!
accused admitted agreed announced
answered apologized appealed argued asserted babb
led begged bemoaned bickered blamed called caution
ed charged chattered claimed
scolded screamed shrieked shouted snickered snorte
d spoke squealed stammered stated stuttered sugges
ted taunted teased uttered voiced whimpered wonder
ed yelled yelped

commented communicated confided confirmed congratu
lated cried declared denied described differed dis
agreed drawled droned echoed estimated exclaimed e
xplained expressed giggled groaned
guessed heckled implored informed insinuated insis
ted interrupted invited laughed lectured mentioned
mocked mumbled muttered narrated objected observe
d pleaded pointed out praised
pronounced proposed protested quarreled questioned
rambled raved reasoned rebuked recited refused re
marked repeated reported reprimanded responded ret
aliated retorted revealed sassed
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CONVENTIONS MechanicsCiting Sources

• You must cite your sources, or where you got your
  information. It is plagiarizing if you do not!
• The following are acceptable
• Book Title, Book Author.
• Magazine Article Title, Magazine Title. Date
  of magazine.
• Website Title, website address. Date website
  was accessed.
• Put sources in alphabetical order.

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CONVENTIONS MechanicsCapitalization
NOT FOR POETRY!
Check your draft to make sure youre following
each rule of capitalization.

• The proper names of people, places, and things
  and also the initials, abbreviations, or titles
  of those names.
• Words such as mother, father, aunt, and uncle
  when these words are used as names I called my
  mom vs. I called Mom.
• The pronoun I ALWAYS.
• Words referring to God or religious scriptures.
• Names and sections of the U.S. We live in
  Western Kentucky.
• All important words in the names of organizations
  and institutions, including abbreviations
  North Marshall Middle School or NMMS
• The names of months, days, and holidays, but not
  seasons June, Sunday, and Christmas, but
  not summer, spring, or fall.
• The first word of every sentence (duh).

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CONVENTIONS MechanicsPunctuation
NOT FOR POETRY!

• Check your draft for the following punctuation
  rules
• End Marks Periods, question marks, or
  exclamation points at the end of each sentence.
• Use a period after initials and most
  abbreviations.
• Use a comma between two independent clauses
• USE HERE - Matt photographed the event, but some
  of his photos were blurry.
• BUT NOT HERE - Matt photographed the event and
  sold his pictures to the newspaper.
• Use a comma after every item in a series of 3 or
  more.
• Kristin, Terry, and Paul ride their bikes to
  school.
• Use a comma to separate an introductory word,
  phrase, or clause from the rest of the sentence.
• Nervously, I played my song for the audition.
• After my last audition, I had practiced my piece
  daily.
• Since I had practiced for hours, I played the
  piece perfectly during the audition.
• Place a comma after the day of the month and
  after the year when it appears in a sentence.
• On March 30, 2007, we went to the zoo.
• Place a comma between the name of the town and
  the state, and one after the state in a sentence.
• We went to Chicago, Illinois, for the Jazz
  Festival.

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CONVENTIONS - Mechanics

• Have at least 2 people read your draft.
• Circle misspelled words in red.
• Put an X in blue at the end of the line that
  has punctuation errors or where punctuation is
  needed.
• Circle incorrectly used words in green, such as
  wrong verb tense, wrong pronouns, repeated words,
  use of got, etc.
• Circle capitalization errors in yellow.

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Write a final draft.
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