Foster Carers

1
Foster Carers and Natural Mothers views and
experiences in sustaining connections for
children and young people in foster care

• Ros Thorpe
• Chris Klease
• School of Social Work Community Welfare
• James Cook University, Queensland
• Paper presented at
• 2006 ACWA Conference, Positive Futures, Sydney.

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Working to sustain connections for children in
care is acknowledged to be one of the more
challenging aspects of present day fostering
3

• This paper is based on two research studies
  conducted in North Queensland.
• Each canvassed the issue of what works well in
  sustaining connections

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The Queensland context

• An inclusive model of fostering
• key principles of
• reunification where possible
• continuing contact in long term care regardless
  of the probability of reunification
• emphasis on identity and stability
• care of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
  children within their own communities
• 1999 Child Protection Act

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The Foster Carer Study

• 2002-2003 Mackay/Whitsunday region, Qld
• comprehensive, semi-structured in-depth
  interviews
• 115 foster carers from 76 foster caring families
• 74 general carers
• 19 relative and 17 known to child carers
• 22 Indigenous carers
• 71 female and 44 male
• 66 long term and 49 never long term

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The Natural Mother study

• Small Honours study to complement the large
  foster carers study
• Interviews with six Townsville women with
  children in foster care.
• mothers views canvassed inter alia on
• the qualities they valued most in foster carers
• their insights into the fostering role
• the barriers they confronted in maintaining
  meaningful connections with their children
• Note Natural mother is the term preferred by
  women whom many writers call birth mothers

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Our key message

• Findings from the two research studies highlight
  the centrality of empathy and compassion between
  foster carers and natural parents in sustaining
  meaningful connections with their children

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Research antecedents re Empathy

• Where adopters had a high capacity to take the
  perspective of others and show empathy for both
  a child and his or her birth relatives then
  contact with birth relatives is more likely to
  be comfortable and sustained Neil 2002, 14
• Critical factors are
• Adopters understanding of the long term value of
  contact to the child
• Respect for birth relatives

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• Empathy is the capacity to understand
  accurately the perceptions and emotions of
  another person in such a way that this
  understanding can be used in responding to the
  other persons situation (Hugman 2005)
• Compassion is A response of active concern
  towards the misfortune of another person that
  is, empathic understanding PLUS positive regard
  for the well being of the other (Hugman 2005)

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In the context of foster care/adoption

• Empathy is
• A high capacity to take the perspective of others
• (Neil 2002)
• Compassion is
• Openness of attitude generous and inclusive
• (Fratter 1996)

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The foster carer study Attitudes to a foster
childs family

• 37 predominately positive
• 40 predominately mixed
• 36 predominately negative
• N113 2 foster carers made no evaluative
  comments.
• Note no significant differences between
  categories of foster carers

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THE WELFARE PRINCIPLE AND THE RIGHTS OF CHILDREN

• Welbourne (2002) identifies a tension in child
  welfare practice in which the welfare principle
• the need for permanence / stability
• is pitted against the rights of children
• the right to identity and family

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Foster Carers and Empathy

• Empathy with the childs right to identity and
  family
• together with (in some carers)
• empathy with the natural parents
• are important factors in positive relationships
  between foster carers and the childs family.

• Empathy with a childs need for stability
• but without
• empathy with the natural parents
• are important factors in negative relationships
  between foster carers and the childs family.

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Negative relationships with a childs own family

• Foster carers emphasise
• Stability
• Negative effect on child of neglect or abuse
• Negative impact of contact
• Negative impact on child of the Departments
  focus on natural parents, contact, reunification
• BUT sometimes also
• Reluctant acknowledgement of childs interest in
  contact (the mixed sub group of foster carers)

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Negative relationships with a childs own family

• can result in assertions that the natural parents
  will
• never change (reform)
• are not worthy, or at the very least, should have
  conditions imposed before any attempt at
  reunification is permitted (e.g. Rehab, Parenting
  Programs, constant supervision)
• foster carers see themselves as advocates for the
  child, to the exclusion of the childs own
  family
• lobbying for permanency to provide safety and
  security for the child
• lobbying against reunification
• lobbying for no contact

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Negative or Mixed attitudes to a childs natural
family

• Negative
• Id like to see that contact didnt continue,
  being that neither of em will ever be accepted
  as candidates to have her back again. So I think
  its just a torment.
  non-Indigenous Relative carer
• Its the child that the government should look
  at it should be stable. The child must be
  stable.
  non-Indigenous Limited carer
• Mixed
• . . . most people think that because theyve
  been abused by their families that they wont
  really want anything to do with them. But they
  do they seem to put their parents on a pedestal.
  Its the weirdest thing that you deal with in
  foster caring it doesnt matter how much love
  you give these children, theyre still going to
  idolise their parents, and thats where they
  wanna be.
• non-Indigenous General carer

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Emphasis on a childs need for Stability without
empathy with the natural parents

• Can result in
• foster carers feeling spurned by foster child
  continuing to love natural parents despite
  disappointments
• foster carers feeling that the Department favours
  natural parents needs over their needs as foster
  carers
• conflicts about money, hair cuts, choice of
  schools, sporting activities, clothing etc
• foster child left with divided loyalties between
  own and foster family
• foster child losing their sense of identity and
  belonging

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Positive relationships with childs own family

• Foster carers
• Understand that children do love their parents,
  despite
• Understand that children need foster carers to be
  positive about their parents
• Understand the need to share love and care with
  natural parents

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Positive relationship with childs own family

• Foster carers
• Actively recognise contact is important to the
  child re
• Emotional security reassurance of parents love
• Reassurance that parents are OK
• Understanding why they are in care
• Sense of belonging and identity
• Helps child to make up own mind
• Recognise reunification as a goal in the childs
  best interests
• Find a good relationship with parents helps them
  to better understand the child

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Empathy with and compassion for natural parents

• Understanding Walking in their shoes
• Tolerance and non-judgement
• Understanding natural parents loss, and need for
  contact Imagine how they feel
• Understanding natural parents hope for
  reunification
• Share love for the child
• Understanding natural parents difficulties in
  working with (around) the Department
• Cultural awareness value contact with the
  overlapping layers of extended family PLUS
  knowledge of country, spirituality, ceremonies,
  protocols etc

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Empathy with and compassion for natural parents

• I felt really bad when we had to meet the twins
  parents when we were at the hospital. We were
  just upset seeing the mother hand the baby over
  to us, like that was like I was stealing their
  babies and that made me cry and my partner cry,
  and he gave that lady a cuddle. That was
  stressful, yeah.
• Weve spoken to the foster childrens parents,
  like we just let them know that their child will
  be looked after really well and well care for
  them and love them just as our own until they get
  their lives sorted out.
• Indigenous General carer

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Positive relationships with natural parentswhat
works well

• Reassure children that natural parents do love
  them
• Talk up the family to the child
• Help children understand
• Work to establish good relationship with natural
  parents
• Work towards reunification
• Persist with contact despite difficulties, and
  also when reunification is unlikely
• Act as a role model / mentor / friend to natural
  parents
• Advocate with the Department on behalf of parents
• Find creative ways of working with challenging
  situations

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Good practice in challenging situations

• It was a sexual abuse issue so the kids werent
  allowed to be alone with him. They had to have a
  supervised visit. I think that from the first
  time we did that, it was a bit hard, making
  conversation with natural father but hes mad
  about cars and motorbikes so my partner was
  able to make him feel a bit more comfortable and
  now they talk cars, and bikes and the kids love
  it that they see us as old friends.
• I think that its easy to judge people. Yes,
  they did terrible things to their children . . .
  but to try to look for the good points for the
  kids sake. You know, to encourage a good
  relationship with them. And maybe sort of then
  that helps the kids work through the bad things
  too.
• non-Indigenous General carer 310

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Implications for education, training, support
and professional supervision for foster carers

• Not simply knowledge, but also
• Thinking Strategies providing a framework to
  think through the complexities of Inclusive
  foster care
  
• Neil 2002 Beek and Schofield 2006
• Emotional Support, so that carers feelings and
  own needs dont dominate their responses
• Neil 2002 Schofield and Beek 2006
• Professional Supervision/consultation, to
  encourage critical reflection and increased self
  knowledge, as a pathway to developing and
  sustaining empathy, compassion and professional
  values of inclusion
• Ingram
  2005

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Natural mothers re foster carer roles what
works well

• Positive and respectful relationships between the
  mothers and the foster carers were key
  ingredients
• Two mothers spoke of the importance of building a
  friendship and encouraging open communication.

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Natural mothers re foster carer roleswhat works
well contd

• What worked well for Nicole was conducting a
  business-like relationship and respecting the
  carers boundaries around contact
• Maggie and Leigh appreciated being kept informed
  of their childrens progress through regular
  contact

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Natural mothers views of what makes a good
foster carer?
QUALITIES OF A GOOD FOSTER CARER HOW TO BE A GOOD FOSTER CARER
Caring, committed, compassionate Encourage, facilitate and maintain contact
Child centred, nurturing Work towards reunification
Friendly, approachable Be a good communicator
Non-judgemental, respectful Show empathy
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Respect

• always be aware that they are the natural parents
  of the children, respect for them in that sense
  and respect the natural parents rights and
  obligations and you know, also give them an
  involvement with the kids, you know, where the
  kids are not fretting for them Simone

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Natural mothers empathy with foster carers

• Denise and Leigh both had empathy for their
  childrens foster carers and argued that carers
  were often as powerless as the parents.
• Im being made an example of. I dont think its
  the foster carers fault. She even tells me that
  she doesnt know half of what is going on.
• The carers pretty much dont have a say endlessly
  when it comes to these children. The Department
  treats some of these carers like theyre nothing.
  Like they are there, yep, you work with the
  kids, deal with it.

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Implications re working with natural parents

• Recognise the strengths of parents
• Acknowledge parents loss grief
• Understand their feelings of anger and
  frustration are natural
• Recognise the value of treating all stakeholders
  with common courtesy and respect

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Implications cont.

• offer support in a way that can be accepted.
  Parents want their stories to be heard without
  blame to be consulted on their childrens future
  and to have a chance to meet up with parents who
  have similar experiences. ONeill 2005
• shift from power over to power with to
  transform relationships from parents fighting CP
  services, or feigning co-operation (playing the
  game) Dumbrill 2003

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In conclusion

• The findings from both our studies bear out
  those from similar studies by Masson et al
  (1997) Schofield et al (2000) and Scott
  Honner (2004) who found that mutual respect and a
  sense that both parties are working together in
  the childs best interests underpin constructive
  relationships between parents and foster carers.

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• If you build a good relationship with the
  parents, you almost always have a good
  relationship with the children
• 
  Ellen Player in Hilpern 2006
• Rosamund.Thorpe_at_jcu.edu.au 07 4781 4192
• chris_klease_at_hotmail.com

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REFERENCES

• BEEK, M. and SCHOFIELD, G. (2006) Attachment for
  Foster Care and Adoption A Training Program.
  London British Association for Adoption and
  Fostering.
• DUMBRILL, G. (2003) Child Welfare AOPs nemesis?
  In Shera, W. (ed) Emerging Perspectives on
  Anti-Oppressive Practice. Toronto Canadian
  Scholars Press Inc.
• FRATTER, J. (1996) Adoption with Contact. London
  BAAF.
• HILPERN, K. (2006) Ellens calling beats the
  selfish gene. Foster Care Issue 125 pages 12-13.
• HUGMAN, R. (2005) New Approaches in Ethics for
  the Caring Professions Basingstoke Palgrave
  Macmillan
• INGRAM, A. (2005) Supervision with Foster Carers.
  Challenging Practices The Third Conference on
  International Research Perspectives on Child and
  Family Welfare. Mackay Centre for Research on
  Community and Childrens Services. August.
  www.croccs.org.au
• MASSON, J., HARRISON, C. and PAVLOVIC, A. (1997)
  Working with children and "lost" parents, Putting
  partnership into practice. York Joseph Rowntree
  Foundation.

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REFERENCES

• NEIL, E. (2002) Contact after Adoption the
  contribution of adoptive parents empathy for
  children and birth relatives. Presented
  International Society for the Study of
  Behavioural Development, Biennial Meeting,
  Ottawa, Aug 2002.
• O'NEILL, C. (2005) Christmas without the kids
  Losing children through the child protection
  system. Children Australia, 30 (4)11-18.
• QUEENSLAND (2005) Child Protection Act 1999
  Reprint No. 3F. Brisbane Office of the
  Queensland Parliamentary Counsel. 30 April
• SCHOFIELD, G., BEEK, M., SARGENT, K. and THOBURN,
  J. (2000) Growing Up in Foster Care. London
  British Agencies for Adoption and Fostering
• SCHOFIELD, G. and BEEK, M. (2006) Attachment
  Handbook for Foster Care and Adoption. London
  British Association for Adoption and Fostering.
• SCOTT, T. and HONNER, J. (2004) "The Most
  Enduring of Relationships" - Engaging Families
  who have children in substitute care. Paper
  presented at Knowledge Into Action. Effective
  Practice for Child and Family Services.
  Australian Childrens Welfare Agencies (ACWA)
  Conference,, Sydney 2-4 August, 2004.
  http//www.acwa.asn.au/Conf2004/acwa2004papers/20_
  HONNER_EnduringRships.pdf
• WELBOURNE, P. (2002) adoption and the Rights of
  Children in the UK, International Journal of
  Childrens Rights 10, 269-89.

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