Stronger Together:

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• Stronger Together
• Creating a Path for Our Children, One Step at a
  Time

Lee Klinger Lesser, Project Training Manager
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Caminante, no hay camino.Se hace camino al
andar. Antonio MachadoTraveler,
there are no roads.You make the road with every
step you take.
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• Open roads represent so much possibility and
  mysteryWe dont know what will happen. As
  educators and caregivers we can make a huge
  difference in the lives of children and families
  through the steps we take each day to create
  authentic relationships.

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Strengthening Families, Strengthening Children

• Our children rely on us to keep them safe and
  help them flourish. As teachers and caregivers
  we are entrusted with an awesome responsibility
  and opportunity to make a difference in the life
  of a child and in the lives that that child will
  also touch throughout their lives. Partnering
  with families and helping to support and
  strengthen the childs family is one of the
  greatest gifts that we can provide. We are
  indeed stronger together and we do create a path
  for our children one step at a time.

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How often is our relationship with families like
those of a wrestler?
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Recognizing Strengths and Building Connections

• In any relationship there is always mutual
  exchange and learning. And there will also be
  differences. When we see and honor the needs in
  each other, it will help us to make connections
  and partner to create change. It starts with
  recognizing strengths and building connections.
  These are two fundamental foundations of working
  with families. It may not be easy, predictable
  or stable all the time. Relationships change and
  grow. Yet if we can do this, it will lead to
  very different results.

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Finding more balance
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Promise and hope

• When we begin to see and build on the strengths
  that are there and have new confidence in
  ourselves and families, we will find more and
  more balance.
• Our world is filled with challenges and
  difficulties and at the same time, it is filled
  with promise and hope.

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Following the natural urge to explore and connect
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Fear is the cheapest room in the house. Id like
to see you in better living conditions.

• Children follow their own innate curiosity and
  reach out to meet the world around them. We work
  with families that come from so many backgrounds,
  cultures and different family structures. Part of
  our work as educators and caregivers is to build
  bridges between differences, and to help children
  grow up in connection rather than separation
  based on fear or bias. It is the natural way of
  children unless they are taught something
  different.
• We do not get to choose who a childs family is.
  It is not up to us to approve or disapprove of a
  family, but to do our best to help each child
  flourish within the context of their own family.
  The NAEYC Code of Ethical Conduct reminds us of
  this and also states that the most important
  principle in the entire code of ethics is Do no
  Harmif we do not appreciate, recognize and
  value a childs family, we are indeed creating
  harm, as childrens self-esteem and identity is
  so linked to their families.

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Butterflies by Patricia Grace (from Electric
City, Penguin 1987)
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• The grandmother plaited her granddaughters hair
  and then she said, Get your lunch. Put it in
  your bag. Get your apple. You come straight
  back after school, straight home here. Listen to
  the teacher, she said. Do what she say.
• Her grandfather was out on the step. He walked
  down the path with her and out on to the
  footpath. He said to a neighbor, our
  granddaughter goes to school. She lives with us
  now.
• Shes fine, the neighbor said. Shes terrific
  with her two plaits in her hair.
• And clever, the grandfather said. Writes
  every day in her book.
• Shes fine, the neighbor said.
• The grandfather waited with his granddaughter by
  the crossing and then he said, Go to school.
  Listen to the teacher. Do what she say. You
  bring your book home? the grandmother asked.
• Yes.
• You write your story.
• Yes.
• Whats your story?
• About the butterflies.
• Get your book, then. Read your story.

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• The grandmother and grandfather were quiet for a
  long time and their granddaughter, holding the
  book, stood quite still in the warm garden.
• The granddaughter took her book from her
  schoolbag and opened it.
• I killed all the butterflies, she read. This
  is me and this is all the butterflies.
• And your teacher like your story, did she?
• I dont know.
• When the granddaughter came home from school her
  grandfather was hoeing round the cabbages. Her
  grandmother was picking beans. They stopped
  their work.
• What your teacher say?
• She said butterflies are beautiful creatures.
  They hatch out and fly in the sun. The
  butterflies visit all the pretty flowers, she
  said. They lay their eggs and then they die.
  You dont kill butterflies, that what she said.
• The grandmother and grandfather were quiet for a
  long time and their granddaughter, holding the
  book, stood quite still in the warm garden.
• Because you see, the grandfather said, your
  teacher, she buy all her cabbages from the
  supermarket and thats why.

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The importance of partnership and relationship

• In what ways are we like this teacher, not
  understanding a family or directly or indirectly
  contradicting a families values? Most of us
  operate from our own mindset or life experience
  and sometimes in the process we disrespect
  someone elses, and leave a child standing there
  in the midst of contradiction and confusion.
  Listen to what the teacher says Yet what do
  you do when what the teacher says is the opposite
  of what your family says?
• The antidote to this is partnership and
  relationship. So that even when we come from
  different points of view or perspectives, we are
  speaking with each other and working together.so
  we dont harm or drop a child and leave a child
  feeling bad about themselves or about their
  families.

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The Blind Men and The Elephant

• The blind men and the elephant is a legend that
  appears in different cultures - notably China,
  Africa and India - and the tale dates back
  thousands of years. Some versions of the story
  feature three blind men, others five or six, but
  the message is always the same. Heres a story of
  the six blind men and the elephant
• Six blind men were discussing exactly what they
  believed an elephant to be, since each had heard
  how strange the creature was, yet none had ever
  seen one before. So the blind men agreed to find
  an elephant and discover what the animal was
  really like.

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• It didnt take the blind men long to find an
  elephant at a nearby market. The first blind man
  approached the beast and felt the animals firm
  flat side. It seems to me that the elephant is
  just like a wall, he said to his friends.
• The second blind man reached out and touched one
  of the elephants tusks. No, this is round and
  smooth and sharp - the elephant is like a spear.
• Intrigued, the third blind man stepped up to the
  elephant and touched its trunk. Well, I cant
  agree with either of you I feel a squirming
  writhing thing - surely the elephant is just like
  a snake.
• The fourth blind man was of course by now quite
  puzzled. So he reached out, and felt the
  elephants leg. You are all talking complete
  nonsense, he said, because clearly the elephant
  is just like a tree.

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• Utterly confused, the fifth blind man stepped
  forward and grabbed one of the elephants ears.
  You must all be mad - an elephant is exactly
  like a fan.
• Duly, the sixth man approached, and, holding the
  beasts tail, disagreed again. Its nothing like
  any of your descriptions - the elephant is just
  like a rope.
• And all six blind men continued to argue, based
  on their own particular experiences, as to what
  they thought an elephant was like. It was an
  argument that they were never able to resolve.
  Each of them was concerned only with their own
  idea. None of them had the full picture, and none
  could see any of the others point of view. Each
  man saw the elephant as something quite
  different, and while in part each blind man was
  right, none was wholly correct.

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Working together to discover the real
elephant...

• So how often are we like the blind men arguing
  about whether a child or a family is like a rope,
  or a fan or a wall and only seeing one part of
  the picture ? In the process of insisting that
  our perspective is THE truth, we end up dropping
  the child in the midst of our own narrow-sighted
  view. On the other hand, if we each feel
  different real things, and talk together in
  relationship we will have a much clearer
  perspective of the elephant and the actions we
  take will be more real and relevant.

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Who takes the child by the hand, takes the
family by the heart. Danish proverb
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• Be confident that you can make a difference.
  Dont get overwhelmed. Try to take each day and
  each task as they come, breaking them down into
  manageable pieces for action while struggling to
  see the whole. And dont think you have to win
  immediately or even at all to make a
  difference.
• Marian Wright Edelman, Childrens Defense Fund

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I slept and dreamed that life was joy. I awoke
and found that life was but service. I served and
discovered that service was joy. Rabindranath
Tagore
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Building relationships with families

• As early childhood educators we live in a social
  system that can be overwhelming. There are more
  and more demands on our time and record keeping
  and requirements. Often, we feel overwhelmed and
  we drop any effort to work with families. It is
  too much to handle.and yet when we really engage
  with families, there is a joy and energy that
  grow and that sustains us, even through
  difficulty. So here are some tips for building
  relationships with families.

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Tips for Building Relationships with Families

• Learn the names of family members!

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Tips for Building Relationships with Families

• Ask the story of where a childs name comes from.

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Tips for Building Relationships with Families

• Take time to connect with families at drop-off
  and pick-up.

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Tips for Building Relationships with Families

• Learn about the cultures and values of families.

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Tips for Building Relationships with Families

• Build on strengths.

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Tips for Building Relationships with Families

• Take small steps and
• let them lead you to
• new ones.

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Tips for Building Relationships with Families

• Find the joy in the deep intention of building
  relationships.

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Tips for Building Relationships with Families

• Recognize and find the support you need to do
  this work.

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Tips for Building Relationships with Families

• Learn the names of family members!
• Ask the story of where a childs name comes from.
• Take time to connect with families at drop-off
  and pick-up.
• Learn about the cultures and values of families.
• Build on strengths.
• Take small steps and let them lead you to new
  ones.
• Find the joy in the deep intention of building
  relationships.
• Recognize and find the support you need to do
  this work.

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• We must recreate an attractive and caring
  attitude in our homes and in our worlds. If our
  children are to approve of themselves, they must
  see that we approve of ourselves.
• Maya Angelou

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• Becoming aware of yourself and the impact you
  have on the world is not an easy task. It is not
  for the faint of heart or the weak in mind. It
  requires the same kind of determination I imagine
  most Olympic distance runners must have. You must
  be willing to listen, to keep plugging away,
  learning to accept, understand and love yourself
  exactly as you are, coming from where you have
  been.
• Iyanla Vanzant

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• If you think you are too small to be effective,
  you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
• Bette Reese

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Quetzal Bird
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A story from the Aztec People of Mexico

• It is said by our Grandparents that a long time
  ago there was a great fire in the forests that
  covered our Earth. People and animals started to
  run trying to escape from the fire. Our brother
  owl, Tecolotl, was running away also when he
  noticed a small bird hurrying back and forth
  between the nearest river and the fire. He headed
  towards this small bird.
• He noticed that it was our brother the Quetzal
  bird running to the river, picking up small drops
  of water in his beak, then returning to the fire
  to throw that tiny bit of water on the flame.
  Owl approached Quetzal bird and yelled at him
  What are you doing brother? Are you stupid? You
  are not going to achieve anything like this.
  What are you trying to do? You must run for your
  life!
• Quetzal bird stopped for a moment and looked at
  owl, and then answered I am doing the best I
  can with what I have.
• It is remembered by our Grandparents that a long
  time ago the forests that covered our Earth were
  saved from a great fire by a small Quetzal bird,
  an owl, and many other animals and people who got
  together to put out the flames.

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So with the power of a mosquito, and the
determination of a tiny little bird, who joined
together with others, we can also create change
in our communities and face the huge fires that
surround us. When we families and caregivers work
together for children, we are all strengthened.