Some People Just Can

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Some People Just Cant Take Criticism!
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The Scripture

• For with what judgment you judge, you will be
  judged and with the measure you use, it will be
  measured back to you. And why do you look at the
  speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider
  the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to
  your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your
  eye and look, a plank is in your own eye?
  Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own
  eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the
  speck from your brother's eye. Matthew 72-5

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Introduction

• Look at yourself before you try to change the
  other person.
• Silence may be golden, but sometimes its just
  plain yellow.
• Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the
  kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Proverbs
  276
• able also to admonish one another. Romans
  1514

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Biblical Instruction

• Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but
  he who hates correction is stupid. Proverbs
  121
• The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but
  he who heeds counsel is wise. Proverbs 1215
• Poverty and shame will come to him who disdains
  correction, but he who regards a rebuke will be
  honored. Proverbs 1318

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Biblical Instruction

• Apply your heart to instruction, and your ears
  to words of knowledge. Proverbs 2312
• Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine
  gold Is a wise rebuker to an obedient ear.
  Proverbs 2512
• But, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in
  all things into Him who is the head--Christ.
  Ephesians 415

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Were All Imperfect and in Need of Help. Its
True of Every Relationship.

• Husbands, wives, children, and parents need help
  from one another. We tend to shun it, but we need
  it.
• Do you proof-read your own work?
• We need help from others who periodically shed
  light where we have blind spots.
• All the ways of a man are pure in his own
  eyes, But the LORD weighs the spirits.
  Proverbs 162

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Whats the Problem?

• Criticism is not the problem its destructive
  criticism. Too often, we dont know how to
  criticize properly, so we avoid it all together.
• We need to build up
  not tear down!

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Criticizing Constructively

• Choose the setting carefully.
  Timing is everything.
• Do it after a mealnot when hungry.
• Criticize in private praise in public.
• Criticize only when you believe the other person
  is emotionally ready to accept it.

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The Criticism Pledge

• I promise, as your mate, that I will never speak
  ill of you to friend, family, or stranger. I will
  not embarrass or belittle you in front of others
  nor will I be critical of you in your absence. I
  will not discuss our personal problems with
  anyone without your permission. This is my pledge
  to you.
• Why? Because of your loyalty, love for, and
  commitment to the other person!

10
Consider the Other Persons Feelings

• How do you find out when its okay?
• Ask! Honey, do you mind me sharing a
  constructive suggestion with you tonight?
• Get the persons permission first.
• After you show respect, and give the other
  person some control, that person will let you
  know when he/she is ready to handle
  it.

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Most People Want Help

• Most people want to be helped, and they desire
  honesty in their relationships. They just need to
  be approached in the right way.
• However, A man convinced against his
  will is of the same opinion still.

12
Dont Give an Overdose

• A common failure is to pour it on! And another
  thing, and another thing, etc.

13
Overdosing Destroys the Motivation to Change!

• Give a person five things to change,
  instead of one, and you destroy his incentive to
  work on any of them!
• The solution is to deal with
  only one criticism at a time.

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Some Suggestions

• Only one criticism per week
  52 a year ought to be enough!
• Most dont realize how critical
  theyve become
• We must listen carefully and increase
  our awareness.
• He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he
  who repeats a matter separates friends.
  Proverbs 179

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24-Hour Criticism Fast?

• For a period of 24 hours, refrain from
  criticizing yourself, the government, the food,
  your boss, co-workers, your spouse, your
  surroundings. Come to a complete halt for 24
  hours!!
• Watch out for back seat driving comments about
  other drivers. Phone calls are dangerous.

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Why Should You Try?

• It will increase your awareness of the critical
  nature of our society.
• It will help you to become aware of your own
  compulsion to criticize.
• It will enable you to experience the power of
  self-mastery, and most importantly
• It will help you lay in your home a foundation
  for love and acceptance instead of rejection.

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Couple Criticism With Compliments

• Notice ratio Three compliments to one criticism.
  Revelation 21-4
• The bitter pill of criticism can be swallowed
  much easier if first sugar-coated with the
  medicine of sincere praise.
• Paul often began his letters with praise, then
  later reminded his readers of the need for
  changes in their conduct

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How does One Receive Criticism Constructively?

• Let your first words be Thank You!
• 1 Thessalonians 518. In everything
  give thanks.
• He said it to your face - not behind your back
• If it is true, you need to change, and then you
  can grow.
• If false, it gives you opportunity tocorrect the
  misunderstanding.

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Always Ask

• What can I learn from criticism?
• Not all criticism is valid. But you can still
  learn something from all kinds of criticism.
• Then take action if possible.

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What About the Things that Wont Change?

• And above all things have fervent love for one
  another, for love will cover a multitude of
  sins. 1 Peter 48
• Love accepts many imperfections.
• We just have to accept some things.

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Serenity Prayer

• God grant me the serenity to accept the things I
  cannot change, the courage to change the things I
  can, and the wisdom to know the difference!
• Let him know that he who turns a sinner from the
  error of his way will save a soul from death
  and cover a multitude of sins. James 520

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Concluding Thoughts

• Dont mind criticism. If it is not true,
  disregard it. If it is unfair, avoid being
  irritated. If it is ignorant, smile. If it is
  justified, learn from it!
• Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all
  things, endures all things. Love
  never fails1 Corinthians 137,8