What about Dads

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What about Dads?

• Joseph Anderson
• John Hoffman

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What about Dads?

• Participants will listen to and engage in a
  dialogue with two fathers about strategies to
  support father
• involvement and their unique perspectives on what
  inclusion has meant for their families--its
  rewards,
• challenges and hopes within the early
  intervention system, home and community.
• Plus an opportunity to talk about the cultural
  aspects of recognizing the importance of fathers
  and the roles that they play within the family
  structure

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Ground Rules

• Normal is only a cycle on a washing machine

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The Quotable Dad

• On Becoming a Father
• If you ever become a father, I think the
  strangest and strongest sensation of your life
  will be hearing for the first time the thin cry
  of your child. -LAFCADIO HEARN-

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• A Hard Profession
• Like any father, I have moments when I wonder
  whether I belong to the children or they belong
  to me. -Bob Hope
• Insanity is hereditary you can get it from your
  children. -Sam Levenson-

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Roles of Fathers

• Biological Fathers -
• Traditional Nuclear Family.
• Custodial Father
• Non Custodial Father -
• Divorced. Has visitation rights or joint custody
• Father Figure -
• Grandparents, step fathers, extended family
  friends, relatives
• Primary role model or live in boyfriend
• Incarcerated Father - Imprisonment
• ????????

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Our Stories

• The beginning
• Births and Diagnosis
• Medical response to our families
  (positive/negative)
• What was helpful or not.
• Expectations
• Obstacles

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This is how Hope started her journey into the
world
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Love my smile?
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The Love of a Father and Son..
Partnership
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Love My Smile?
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What about Natural Environments

• Natural Learning Opportunities
• Participation in families everyday activities,
  places and relationships
• IFSP as an going FAMILY document
• Integrated supports and services

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Location
Activity
Opportunities
Adapted from Carol Trivette 1998
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Location Activity
Opportunity
What is the Natural Learning Opportunity?
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Location Activity
Opportunity
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Family Centered supports and services

• All people need support and encouragement.
• All families have hopes, dreams and wishes for
  their children.
• All people have different but equally important
  skills, abilities and knowledge (strengths).
• Families are resourceful, but all families do not
  have equal access to resources.
• Families should be assisted in ways that help
  them maintain their dignity and hope.
• Families should be equal partners in the
  relationships with service providers.
• Providers work for families

Lynda Cook Pletcher and Sue McBride 1998
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Barriers and Stereotypes of Fathers?
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Barriers/Stereotypes of Fathers
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Barriers/Stereotypes of Fathers

• Men are not sensitive to issues of Children.
• Majority of people working in the Early Childhood
  field are women.
• Poverty or working class mentality ( Looking at
  what roles the father plays -Nature vs. Nurture)
• Not believing in the importance of reaching out
  to the opposite sex.
• Men dont take initiatives in their
  child/children's care.Dads are never available
• Moms are more accessible.

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Iceberg Concept

• Just as nine-tenths of an iceberg is out of
  sight, so is nine-tenths of culture out of
  conscious awareness.
• The out-of-awareness part of culture has been
  termed deep culture

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An Iceberg Concept of Culture
dress?age race/ethnicity gender ? language eye
behavior? facial expressions body language ?
sense of self notions of modesty ? concept of
cleanliness emotional response patterns rules
for social interaction ? child rearing practices
decision-making processes ?approaches to problem
solving concept of justice ?value individual vs.
group perceptions of mental health, health,
illness, disability patterns of superior and
subordinate roles ? roles in relation to status
by age, gender class and much more
Developed by National Center for Cultural
Competence, 2002 Adapted by the NCCC
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Reframing

• Restating a problem in a more positive way in
  order to make the problem see more manageable.
• A first step in problem solving

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Reframing Activity

• In your small group complete the Cultural
  Reframing Exercise handout.

10 minutes
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• Dads today spend 50 percent more time with their
  children -- 2.7 hours a day -- than they did 25
  years ago, but they are working just as much,
  according to a 2004 study by the Families and
  Work Institute.

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• When asked the No. 1 element essential to a
  balanced life, 84 percent of men said it is
  spending time with family, according to a Best
  Life magazine poll.

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• Dads born after the baby boom are trying to
  achieve a better balance between the demands of
  the workplace and raising a family. It's a
  balance women have been trying to strike for
  decades.

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• But even with more families juggling two careers,
  the trend of men taking leave or reducing hours
  has been slow to catch on, experts said, since
  most employers do not offer paid paternity leave.
  And some men still fear compromising their
  careers by taking the time, or simply can't
  afford to.

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• Fathers of disabled children are fathers first,
  and fathers of a disabled child second. Many of
  the issues faced by fathers of disabled children
  are the same as fathers of non-disabled children
• Fathers and mothers of disabled children have
  many of the same needs and concerns, but there
  can also be real differences in how they respond
  to their child's condition, what they do to cope,
  and what they find helpful

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• Fathers tend to rely heavily on their partners
  for emotional support
• Fathers can be greatly affected emotionally by a
  child's disability impairment or illness
• Fathers want information about their child's
  condition and development, what can be done to
  help, and what services are available to help
  their child and the family as a whole

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• Fathers want someone to talk to from outside the
  family about their worries and concerns, but are
  not very good at seeking for this type of help or
  support. They also prefer support groups made-up
  of men only because they feel more able to be
  open in such an environment
• The needs of fathers can be missed by services,
  which tend to focus on support for the child and
  mother
• Going to work is a common coping strategy of
  fathers and important for identity and
  self-esteem. Fathers want flexibility from
  employers and services so that they can respond
  to the needs of their children, attend
  appointments and be involved in the decisions and
  care relating to their child

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• Fathers' stress may be directly related less to
  their child's behavior than the stress felt by
  mothers
• Fathers can also experience less stress, anxiety
  and depression than mothers, probably because
  mothers take on the majority of the child care
  and everyday related tasks

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• Fathers also tend to be less involved and have
  more limited interaction with their disabled than
  their non-disabled children, partly because they
  tend to be more involved in physical activities
• Unlike mothers, fathers tend to seek support
  almost entirely from their partner or spouse
  rather than friends or family

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Fathers themselves are also heterogeneous as a
group

• they can have very different experiences of
  fatherhood
• their child's disability
• their own needs and what they find helpful

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• Mothers and fathers therefore have both shared
  and individual needs. These differences need to
  be taken into account when devising or providing
  support for families with disabled or chronically
  ill children.

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Strategery

• Increase public awareness about the importance of
  fatherhood through sharing research-based
  information
• Restructure welfare policies that punish marriage
  and responsible fatherhood
• Encourage the establishment of legal paternity at
  birth

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More Strategery

• Provide job training and economic development
  opportunities to fathers who are motivated but
  not able to pay child support due to employment
  challenges
• Provide parenting education for dads of all ages,
  and develop creative ways for promoting special
  time for fathers and children to spend together.

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Strategies

• Implement and encourage use of father-friendly
  employment practices at work. These include
  childcare facilities where fathers work, parental
  leave for child birth, adoption, time off for
  school functions and child medical care, and use
  of flex-time, job sharing and telecommuting work
  options.

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Strategies

• Make sure that school course work and youth
  activities provide boys, as well as girls, with
  opportunities to develop the knowledge, skills
  and motivation to become a good parent.
• It makes good sense to review all policies from
  the standpoint of how they affect parents'
  relationships with their children -- particularly
  at a time when work demands and time pressure can
  make family connections especially fragile.

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The Community of Man
All men/women are interdependent. Every
nation is an heir of a vast treasury of ideas and
labor to which both the living and the dead of
all nations have contributed. Whether we realize
it or not, each of us lives eternally in the
red. We are everlasting debtors to known and
unknown men and women. When we arise in the
morning, we go to the bathroom where we reach for
a sponge which is provided for us by a Pacific
islander. We reach for soap that is created for
us by a European. Then at the table we drank
coffee which is provided for us by a South
American, or tea by a Chinese, or cocoa by a West
African. Before we leave for our jobs we are
already beholden to more than half of the
world. Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Fathers Resources

• http//www.pacer.org/parent/php/PHP-c74.pdf
• Fathers are important
• http//www.pacer.org/mpc/pdf/mpc-15.pdf
• Parent Involvement is the Key
• http//www.pacer.org/mpc/pdf/mpc-57.pdf
• Parent Tips for Reading Readiness
• http//www.pacer.org/parent/php/PHP-c31.pdf
• Person first language
• http//www.pacer.org/parent/php/PHP-c96.pdf
• Parents Key to success in the parent/school
  partnership
• http//www.pacer.org/parent/php/PHP-c98.pdf
• Increasing Parent involvement on Boards
• http//www.pacer.org/mpc/pdf/mpc-45.pdf
• Family Teacher Partnerships

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Fathers Resources

• http//www.fathersnetwork.org/Our mission is to
  celebrate and support fathers and families
  raising children with special health care needs
  and developmental disabilities.
• http//fatherhood.hhs.gov/index.shtml
• The Department of Health and Human Services has
  developed a special initiative to support and
  strengthen the roles of fathers in families. 

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For further information

• Joseph Anderson [phone]
• anderson2280_at_comcast.net
• John Hoffman [phone]Jhoffman_at_pacer.org
• www.pacer.org