Class Notes Chapter 10

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Class NotesChapter 10

• Interpersonal Attraction
• From First Impressions to Close Relationships

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AFFILIATION

• PEOPLE NEED OTHER PEOPLE
• ISOLATION IS STRESSFUL
• SELKIRK
• BYRD
• SCHACTER
• HARLOWS MONKEYS
• ORPHANAGES

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LONELINESS

• DISCREPANCY BETWEEN DESIRED AND ACTUAL SOCIAL
  RELATIONSHIPS
• IS A COMMON EXPERIENCE
• IS UNPLEASANT AND DISTRESSING
• IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING ALONE
• VARIES IN INTENSITY, DURATION, AND CAUSE

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LONELINESS IS COMMON

• 98 HAVE BEEN LONELY
• 26 DURING PAST FEW WEEKS
• MORE COMMON AMONG YOUNG
• TEENS 79 MID AGE 53
• SENIORS 37
• HIGHER AMONG SINGLE POOR
• 75 FIRST COLLEGE TERM

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LONELINESS IS DISTRESSING

• DEPRESSION (r .71)
• ANXIETY, TENSION, BOREDOM
• RANGES FROM MILD TO SEVERE

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LONELINESS ALONE

• OPTIMAL LEVEL OF AFFILIATION
• ALONE BUT NOT LONELY (READING, FISHING)
• WITH OTHERS BUT LONELY (PARTY FOLLOWING A BREAKUP)

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SOCIOLOGICAL FACTORS

• SMALLER FAMILIES
• LESS STABLE FAMILIES
• FREQUENT MOVING
• ACHIEVEMENT CULTURE
• LARGER CITIES, ORGANIZATIONS, HOUSING

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WHAT IS MISSING?

• SOCIAL LONELINESS
• LACK OF SOCIAL INTERACTION
• GO SHOPPING, GO TO LUNCH, ALONE ON WEEKEND

• EMOTIONAL LONELINESS
• LACK OF CLOSE EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT
• FEELING CLOSE, INTIMATE, ACCEPTED, IMPORTANT

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TYPES OF LONELINESS

• TRAIT LONELINESS
• CONTINUING OR RECURRING
• SOCIAL SKILLS
• SELF-CONFIDENCE
• ATTRIBUTIONS
• SELF-DEFEATING

• STATE LONELINESS
• TEMPORARY
• SPECIFIC CAUSE
• BREAKUP, MOVE, DEATH IN FAMILY

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Attributions of Loneliness
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TRAIT LONELINESS SELF-DEFEATING CYCLE
LONELINESS (UNPLEASANT)
SELF-FOCUSED THINKING NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTIONS
SELF-DEFEATING BEHAVIOR
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FRIENDSHIP

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FRIENDSHIP

• WHAT MAKES LIFE MEANINGFUL
• friends, parents, siblings, children, or
  opposite sex, feeling loved wanted
• lthalf said occupational success, religious faith

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FRIENDSHIP

• MOST IMPORTANT RATINGS TO
• happy marriage, good family life, good
  friends
• less importance to work, housing, religious
  faith, financial security

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FOLK WISDOM

• OPPOSITES ATTRACT
• ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER
• MARRIAGE IS MADE IN HEAVEN
• LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND
• TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES

• BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER
• OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND
• IS BETTER TO MARY THAN TO BURN
• LOVE IS A MALADY WITHOUT A CURE
• LOVE IS LIKE LINEN, OFTEN CHANGED

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PROXIMITY

• PARK FOREST
• CLASSROOMS
• HOUSING

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REASONS FOR PROXIMITY-ATTRACTION EFFECT

• AVAILABILITY (FEWER COSTS)
• EXPECT CONTINUING INTERACTION (LEADS TO NICER
  BEHAVIOR)
• PREDICTABILITY (KNOW AREAS OF SHARED INTEREST)
• MERE EXPOSURE

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ATTITUDE SIMILARITY

• BYRNE STUDIES
• NEWCOMBS DORM STUDY

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RECIPROCAL LIKING

• LIKE OTHERS WHO LIKE US
• ACT NICER CAUSE Self Fulfilling Prophecy
• GAIN LOSS

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• sincere
• honest
• understanding
• loyal
• truthful
• trustworthy
• intelligent
• dependable
• thoughtful
• reliable
• warm
• kind
• friendly

• liar
• phony
• mean
• cruel
• dishonest
• obnoxious
• malicious
• untrustworthy
• unkind
• insincere
• greedy
• conceited
• hostile

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PERSONALITY

• POSITIVE TRAITS
• SIMILARITY PERSONALITY
• COMPLEMENTARITY (JACK SPRAT)

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DEVELOPMENT OF DEPTH

• GREATER OVERLAP
• SELF-DISCLOSURE
• SOCIAL PENETRATION

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very intimate
moderately intimate
superficial
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GENDER DIFFERENCES

• FEMALES MORE SELF-DISCLOSING, SHARE FEELINGS
• MALES SHARE ACTIVITIES, TALK ABOUT THINGS

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LOVE
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RELATIONSHIPS CHANGE

• STIMULUS STAGE (SUITABLE TO DATE)
• VALUE STAGE (SIMILARITY)
• ROLE STAGE (MUTUALLY FULFILLING ROLES)

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THEORIES OF LOVE

• RUBIN
• CARING
• NEEDING
• DESIRE FOR INTIMACY

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HATFIELD WALSTER

• PASSIONATE LOVE
• COMPANIONATE LOVE

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HATFIELD WALSTER

• PASSIONATE LOVE
• FANTASY
• CONFLICTING EMOTIONS
• DWINDLES IN TIME
• COMPANIONATE LOVE
• AFFECTON
• SHARED UNDERSTANDINGS

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PASSIONATE VS COMPANIONATE

• PASSIONATE
• INTENSE
• THE FOCUS
• SEXUAL FEELINGS
• FEELS FRAGILE
• FEAR REJECTION

• COMPANIONATE
• STRONG
• A FOCUS
• POSSIBLY SEXUAL
• FEELS STABLE
• TRUST
• CARE
• EXPECT CARING

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TRIANGULAR THEORY

• PASSION
• MAY DEVELOP QUICKLY
• INTERMITTENT REINFORMCEMENT
• INTIMACY
• COMMITMENT
• BOTH DEVELOP GRADUALLY
• CONSISTENT REINFORCEMENT

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COMPANIONATE LOVE

• SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY
• REWARDS COSTS
• SATISFACTION
• ALTERNATIVES
• INVESTMENTS
• EQUITY THEORY
• RATIO OF INPUTS TO OUTPUTS

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ATTACHMENT STYLES

• SECURE
• AVOIDANT
• ANXIOUS/AMBIVALENT