Part I begins: Components of Conflict

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Part I begins Components of Conflict

• Chapter 1 Perspectives on Conflict

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Why study conflict?

• A natural part of all of our human relationships
• Family relationships the best laboratory for
  study
• Mental health is related to conflict management
• Romantic relationships/marriage the biggest test
  of all!

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Marriage and family

• Conflict resolution methods affect marriage
• Enter conflict gently
• Repair wounds
• Avoid criticizing and blaming
• Avoid hitting where it hurts
• Learning to manage conflict constructively
  positively correlated with marital satisfaction

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Keys to long-term, committed relationships

• Conflict management
• Amount of conflict less important to quality of
  relationship than how conflict is handled
• Beliefs about conflict and how it should be
  handled are important, too

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So why study conflict?

• Affects long-term relationships
• Affects your mental health
• Affects people around you
• Affects the well-being of your family
• Impacts businesses and organizations
• Helps people overcome abuse and lack of positive
  role-models for conflict management
• Conflict resolution is complicated, not common
  sense

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Personal History

• How did your family handle conflict?
• How do you handle conflict?
• Do you and those closest to you handle conflict
  differently, and what impact does this have on
  your family/personal life?

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Take a moment to reflect

• What style of conflict management was used in
  your family as you were growing up?
• What style do you have now?
• Write a brief summary of the answers to these
  questions on a piece of paper

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Did your family tend to

• Avoid most conflict?
• Use collaboration to resolve conflict?
• Engage in yelling, name-calling, and other
  aggressive strategies?

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Avoidant families

• Conflict doesnt exist dont acknowledge it if
  it does
• When you encounter conflict, work through it on
  your own
• Dont talk about conflict
• Dont raise your voice
• Snide comments and sarcasm are okay
• Sulking and the silent treatment are okay
• Dont respond to concerns about conflict openly
• Dont express strong feelings

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Collaborative families

• Family meetings/chats common
• Good listening skills are used
• Deal with people directly
• Discuss your feelings
• Parents help children work through conflicts
• Regular interaction occurs
• Sulking and silent treatment not acceptable
• Strong feelings are normal and allowed

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Aggressive families

• Survival of the fittest atmosphere
• Brutal honesty, no matter the consequence
• Show emotions strongly, even if it hurts others
• Get your position out there first
• Air conflicts in front of an audience
• Dont back down ever!
• Take it if someone attacks
• Those who cant are considered weak

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Effects of destructive marital conflict

• Research shows the promotion of effects on the
  entire family system
• Loneliness and isolation from friends
• Decreased mental/emotional well-being of children
• Behavior and academic problems in children
• Adolescent distress and depression
• Strong reactions to conflict
• Difficulties in later lives and long-term
  relationships

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Views of ConflictNegative

• Many people view conflict as negative
• Harmony is normal/conflict is abnormal
• Conflict Disagreement
• Conflict comes from personal pathology
• Conflict should never be escalated
• Conflict management is a polite, orderly process
• Anger is the emotional aspect of conflict

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Views of ConflictPositive

• Conflict is inevitable treat it constructively
  as a fact of life
• Conflict brings problems to the table
• Conflict brings people together to clarify goals
• Conflict can clear the air and promote
  understanding

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What is your view of conflict?

• Positive or Negative?
• What metaphor for conflict do you prefer?

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Models of Conflict

• The lens model the model in the text
• General Systems Theory the model preferred by
  Dr. McCarty

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An overview of the models

• Lens model shows 2 people looking through their
  own lenses at each other
• The lens is thought to influence the view of
• Self
• Other
• Relationship

• General Systems Theory is used in many
  disciplines and would view conflict as a System
  involving
• Inputs (sensory)
• Internal Processes (perceptions)
• Outputs (behaviors)

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General Systems Theory

• INPUT INTERNAL OUTPUT
• PROCESSES

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INPUT

• The same for everyone
• Sensory Inputs
• Involves sensory receptor cells that
• Detect stimuli like light and sound energy
• Translate it into the brains language
• Transmit it to the brain for processing

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INTERNAL PROCESSING

• Different for everyone
• Perception a model of reality
• Involves
• Expectations
• Filters (e.g. gender and cultural)
• Interpretations

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Gender Filters

• Men and women have more similarities than
  differences in how they handle individual
  conflict situations, BUT . . .
• There are some overall differences like
• Self Esteem
• Power vs. Interdependence concerns

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Low Context vs. High ContextCultures

• Low Context Culture
• Individual oriented
• Analytic/linear logic
• Direct, confrontational
• Action/solution oriented

• High Context Culture
• Group oriented
• Synthetic/spiral logic
• Indirect, nonconfrontational
• Face- and relationship oriented