The EQ Difference

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The EQ Difference

• Adele B. Lynn

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EQ Lessons

• Other peoples behaviors can affect our feelings
• Our feelings can influence our performance
• Performance can be enhanced through positive
  behaviors
• Emotional Intelligence is important, but its by
  no means the only factor leading to high
  performance

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The Mystery of Human Behavior

• Dancing between values and emotions
• When emotion overrides values or
  intentionemotional hijacking
• Hijacking can alter perception

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Factors Driving Human Behavior

• Family societal values
• Assumptions beliefs
• Life experiences
• Laws mores of church and state
• Personality group influences

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Three Brain Structure

• Autonomic brain
• Limbic brain
• Rational brain

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Emotions What Are They?

• Cognitive component
• Physiological component
• Behavioral component

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Five Areas of Emotional Intelligence

• Self-Awareness Self-Control
• Empathy
• Social Expertness
• Personal Influence
• Mastery of Purpose and Vision

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Seven Steps to Emotional Intelligence

• Observe
• Interpret
• Pause
• Direct

• Reflect
• Celebrate
• Repeat

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Step 1 Observe

• Get out more
• Observe in the moment
• Observe in conflict situations
• Turn your observation outward
• Scanning

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A Scanning Checklist (Self Scan)

• What is my physical body telling me?
• What am I feeling?
• On what is my thinking fixated?
• How do I appear to others?

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A Scanning Checklist (Scan Others)

• What are they conveying through their words?
• What are their nonverbal behaviors?
• What are their moods?
• What other signs are in the physical environment?

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Observing Mood Emotion

• Range/Families of Emotions Moods
• Observing your reactions to others
• Observing your internal dialogue

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Internal Dialogue Voices

• Certain voices appear over and over again
• Some voices dominate your internal landscape
• Getting a handle on the voices that speak most
  often is a crucial self-coaching step
• Voices described (pp. 63-68)

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Triggers for Emotional Reaction

• Moods attitudes of yourself and others
• Pre-thinking or foreshadowing
• Dwelling
• Personality
• Hot words Hot buttons

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Triggers for Emotional Reaction

• Perceived criticism
• Physical environment
• Illness physical conditions
• Situations

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Step 2 Interpret

• Modus operandi (M.O.)
• Combining M.O. with triggers
• Voice interpretation
• Impact on others
• Confirmation bias and suggestion

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Pitfalls of Interpretation

• Needing approval
• Making mistakes
• Changing others
• Catastrophize
• Others cause misery
• Avoidance

• Worry, fret, and fear
• The past
• Unrealistic expectations
• Competition
• Source of problems
• Negativity

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Step 3 Pause

• A deep, long breath
• A shift in your physical movement
• A mantra (practiced rehearsed)

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Step 4 Direct

• Visualize the end result
• Strategizing techniques
• Implement in the moment

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Step 5 Reflect

• Journaling
• Mentoring
• Friends
• Dream team
• Coaching

• Volunteering
• Hobbies
• Tangible Objects
• Reading
• Yearly pilgrimage

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Step 6 Celebrate

• Life perspective
• Self-directed living
• Greater skill level
• Acceptance

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Step 7 Repeat

• Affirm the direction
• Let go
• Follow the path