Title: How do we Actually Teach Emotional Intelligence?
1How do we Actually Teach Emotional Intelligence?
- Higher Education Symposium on Emotional
Intelligence - October 2-3, 2008
- Deborah Seaburg, Ph. D.
- Counseling Personal Growth Center
- Minnesota State University Moorhead
- seaburg_at_mnstate.edu
2Goals for Today
- Outline one-credit undergraduate personal
development course in emotional intelligence - Focus on specific classroom activities designed
to teach EI - Share ideas and strategies with each other
3Counseling Concerns MSUM 2007-08
- Depression
- Career choice
- Anxiety
- Academic issues (study skills, lack of
motivation) - Relationships
- Self-esteem
- Family issues
- Stress Management
- Anger
- Financial problems
4Withdrawal Factors MSUM 2007-08
- Academic Reasons
- Not emotionally ready
- Major undecided
- Not academically prepared
- Time management problems
- Lack of motivation
- Personal Considerations
- Emotional health
- Personal health
- Relationship problems
- Family responsibilities
- Adjustment to college life/Homesick
5Emotionally Reactive vs. Intelligent
Students(Nelson Low, 2003)
- Resilient
- Proactive, planned responses to stress
- Intentional reflective behavior
- Self-confident
- Strength-focused
- Overwhelmed too often
- Reactive to stress
- Emotionally driven behavior
- Self-doubting
- Deficit and weakness focused
6Reactive vs. Emotionally Intellligent Students
continued
- Resistant to change
- Aggressive, nonassertive communicator
- Performance decreases under stress
- Pessimistic, negative focus
- Makes the same mistakes
- Flexible, open to change
- Assertive communicator
- Performance increases under stress
- Optimistic, positive, focus
- Learns from experience
7Emotional Intelligence Defined
- An array of non-cognitive capabilities,
competencies and skills that influence ones
ability to succeed in coping with environmental
demands and pressures - Reuven BarOn
- A persons ability to understand his or her own
emotions and the emotions of others and to act
appropriately based on this understanding - Mayer Salovey (1990)
8PDEV 107 Emotional Intelligence
- Course Description Research indicates that
success in your career depends on your ability to
manage your and others emotions. Assess your
emotional intelligence, exploring your emotional
self-awareness, relationships, adaptability,
stress tolerance and optimism. Identify ways to
improve your Emotional IQ. - 1 credit, 8 weeks, 15 75-minute sessions
9PDEV 105 Course Objectives
- Course Objectives
- Discuss main theoretical bases and research
supporting the concept of Emotional Intelligence - Assess and understand own levels of EI
- Identify the significance of EI in work, family
and relationships, and academic success - Apply specific strategies to improve selected
aspects of their emotional intelligence
10PDEV 105Course Requirements
- Attendance
- Journals
- Happiness Project
- Final Paper Reflection on own strengths and
areas for improvement and Action Plan for
enhancing EI
11PDEV 105Required Materials
- BarOn EQi
- Stein, S. J. Book, H. E. (2006). The EQ Edge.
Toronto, ON Jossey-Bass - (Alternative text) Nelson, D. B Low, G. R.
(2003). Emotional Intelligence Achieving
Academic and Career Excellence. Columbus, OH
Prentice Hall
12BarOn Model of Emotional Competencies
- INTRAPERSONAL
- Self-regard
- Self-awareness
- Assertiveness
- Independence
- Self-actualization
- INTERPERSONAL
- Empathy
- Social responsibility
- Interpersonal relationship
- ADAPTABILITY
- Reality testing
- Flexibility
- Problem solving
- STRESS MANAGEMENT
- Stress tolerance
- Impulse control
- GENERAL MOOD
- Optimism
- Happiness
13Introduction to EI
- Get to know each other
- Emotion face cards I felt___ when___.
- Redefine Intelligence IQ vs. EQ
- Characteristics of Success
- EI Theories
- Internet Assignment
- http//ivos.ivillage.com/assessment/emotionaliq
- www.queendom.com/emotionaliq/html
14The Emotional Mind
- Mind-Body connection with Emotion
- Lemon Visualization
- Angry Pulse
- Emotional System (Linehan, 1993)
- Thought vs. Feeling
- Wise Mind
- ABCDE Model
15Introduction to EI Activity The ABCDE Model
- Activating Event
- Beliefs about that event
- Consequences
- Debate, Dispute, or Discard
- Effects
- Source Stein and Book (2006) The EQ Edge.
Jossey-Bass
16Intrapersonal Emotional Self-Awareness
- The ability to recognize, understand, and
describe ones feelings and emotions,
differentiate between them and know what caused
them and why - How do you Feel about Feelings?
- Identify family messages and rules about
emotional expression - Cultural/gender expression
- Building an Emotional Vocabulary
- Primary emotions, mixed emotions
- Intensities
17Emotional Vocabulary Exercise
- Divide into teams. Each team gets list of 20
emotions and writes definitions on board. First
team finished wins. - Class then reviews definitions, discusses how
they might add to or differ, give examples of
situations they have experienced this emotion.
18Self Awareness continued
- Recalling Feelings Journal
- For a week keep track of your strongest emotion
each day. Write down accompanying bodily
sensations and thoughts and how you recognized
that emotion. - Talk About My Feelings cards
- Music Connection
- Share music that elicits an emotional connection.
How do we use music to manage emotional energy?
19Self Awareness Exercise Emotional Lifeline
- On blank sheet of paper draw a line representing
your life from birth to now (or into future). - What events, people, activities, etc. contributed
to your emotional highs and lows? - What did you learn about yourself?
- How can you use this information?
20Intrapersonal Self-Regard
- The ability to look at and understand oneself,
respect and accept oneself, accepting ones
perceived positive and negative aspects as well
as ones limitations and possibilities - Affirmations and Self-Nurturing Activities
- Best Friend Introductions
21Self-Regard Activity Head and Shoulders
- Each person tapes a sheet of newsprint on wall
and a partner outlines their head and shoulders
with a marker. - Fills in the outline with your strengths,
challenges, hopes and fears. - Class then rotates around the room and initials
characteristics with which they identify on
everyone elses profile. - After reclaiming own profiles discuss following
questions - What are common themes?
- What is unique about you?
- What was impact of this exercise on you?
22Intrapersonal Self-Actualization
- The ability to realize ones potential capacities
and to strive to do that which one wants to do
and enjoys doing. - Maslow Need Hierarchy and Flow
- Setting Goalsfor school, for work, for life!
- Results vs. Activity orientation (destination vs.
journey) - SMART goals
- Dreams/Values/Goals
- How would you spend your time if you didnt have
to work? - What do you want to achieve in college? In life?
- Write obituary
23Self-Actualization Activity Your Best Possible
Self
- Take 20-30 minutes to think about how you expect
your life to be 1, 5 or 10 years from now.
Visualize a future in which everything has turned
out the way you wanted. Youve worked hard,
tried your best and achieved all your goals.
Now write down what you imagine that life to be
like. - Source The How of Happiness by Sonja
Lyubomirsky (2008). Penguin Press
24Intrapersonal Assertiveness
- The ability to express feelings, beliefs, and
thoughts and defend ones rights in a
nondestructive way - Saying No Staying Friends
- Dealing with Professors
- Assertion vs. Aggression vs. Passiveness
- I feel statements
- Passive and aggressive reactions on note cards to
be discussed by group
25Intrapersonal Independence
- The ability to be self-reliant and self-directed
in thought and action, may ask for and consider
the advice of others, but rarely depend on others
to make important decisions or do things for them - Identify activities that are difficult to do
alone. What are thoughts that make this
difficult? Use ABCDE to identify alternative
thoughts and create plan of graded steps to
increase independence. - Decision Making and Self-confidence
- Leadership
26Interpersonal Empathy
- The ability to be attentive to, to understand,
and to appreciate the feelings of othersbeing
able to emotionally read other people. - What empathy is not
- Thinking about Others Feelings cards
- Emotion Charades
- Empathy cards (6seconds Emotional Intelligence
Network)
27Empathy Cards
- Studying is for the birds. I only pretend to do
it to impress the girls. Its too much hard
work. I do okay I mean its not like grades
matter anyway.
28Empathy Card
- Yes! That was the 3rd workout today! I bet Ive
lost at least another 4 pounds. My mom says Im
anorexic, but Im not. I just want to be
beautiful.
29Empathy Card
- Chris and I are in love and plan to get married
but we have to keep it a secret because our
parents will never accept us.
30Interpersonal Social Responsibility
- The ability to demonstrate oneself as a
cooperative, contributing, and constructive
member of ones social group. - Identify layers of community
- Brainstorm activities available to college
students that contribute to community
31Ways I contribute to my community
- Dont drive drunk. Give blood. Vote. Recycle.
Visit a nursing home. Volunteer at the food
pantry. Collect and donate old clothes. Serve
food at the homeless shelter. Be a Big
Brother/Sister. Ride my bike instead of drive.
Spring break with Habitat for Humanity. Pick up
litter. Socialize animals at the Humane Society.
32Interpersonal Interpersonal Relationship
- The ability to establish and maintain mutually
satisfying relationships that are characterized
by intimacy and by giving and receiving affection - Effective communication skills
- What kind of friend am I?
- Appreciation Letter Express appreciation to
someone. Let them know how much they mean to you
or have helped you. - Conflict Management
33Interpersonal Relationships Activity Conflict
management
- Role play conflict situations
- Student A You are tired. Your roommate begins
to criticize you because you left your dirty
dishes in the sink. You dont think youve done
anything wrong. You think she/he is not being
fair to you. You are very annoyed. - Student B Your roommate has left dirty dishes
in the sink again. You are tired and dont want
to wash them. You think she/he is not being fair
to you. You complain.
34Stress Management Stress Tolerance
- The ability to withstand adverse events and
stressful situations without falling apart by
actively and confidently coping with stress. - Stress indicators and vulnerabilities
- Relaxation exercises
- Stress Bingo
- Test Anxiety
35Stress Management Impulse Control
- The ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive
or temptation to act. - Distress tolerance and delay of gratification
- Marshmallow experiment
- Time and money management
- Anger management
- Functions and components of anger
- How is your anger hurting you?
- How do I handle my anger?
- Rules for managing anger
36Adaptability Reality Testing
- The ability to assess the correspondence between
what is experienced (the subjective) and what in
reality exists (the objective). - Describe an episode during which you believe your
ability to size up the situation was radically
off base. - Catastrophizing or Over-optimistic
37Adaptability Flexibility
- The ability to adjust ones emotions, thoughts,
and behavior to changing situations and
conditions. - Share responses to travel
- Routines. What disrupts them? What is response
to disruption? - Island Activity
38Adaptability Problem Solving
- The ability to identify and define problems as
well as to generate and implement potentially
effective solutions - Steps for problem solving
- Class Application Write current problem on note
card. Collect and distribute into groups to
practice problem solving. - Idea Exchange
39Problem Solving Activity The Idea Exchange
(http//oncourseworkshop.com/Interdependecen023.
- Identify specific goal -- e.g. I want to pass
math. - List obstacles to achieving goal as specifically
as possible -- e.g. Im not good in math and Im
bored in class. - Find a partner and decide who will be A and B. A
will tell B what they want and what the obstacle
is, B will have 1-2 minutes to provide as many
solutions as possible. - After each person has a turn, repeat with another
partner. Continue for 3 rounds. - Discuss process What solutions will you
implement? What did you learn from this
experience?
40General Mood Happiness
- The ability to feel satisfied with ones life, to
enjoy oneself and being with others, and to have
fun. - What makes us happy?
- Happiness collages
- Self-nurturing activities
- Nightly recording of what went well today and why
- Spontaneity
- Throwing Sound game
41Celebrate Life Activity
- Each person in class gets a balloon and marker.
Draw or list things they will appreciate or
celebrate this semester. Then share with class.
42General Mood Optimism
- The ability to look at the brighter side of life
and to maintain a positive attitude, even in the
face of adversity. - Learned Optimism (Seligman)
- Practice Optimism
- Look for plausible alternatives (ABCDE examples)
- Reframe situations from pessimistic to optimistic
- How long does this last?
- Whos responsible?
- How big is this?
43How are we already teaching EI to our students?