COMM 470 Agenda Week 13

1
COMM 470 Agenda - Week 13

• LC2 I Will Return Next Week
• LC3 Due last class
• Final Exam Friday, May 19, 1030 1230
• Review Listening Exercise for Week 12
• Lecture - Tannen
• ITE 13
• Listening Exercise for Week 13

2
In-Class Team Exercise 13a

• Discuss
• How did you do with Noticing Complaining this
  week?
• Count how many times share 2 examples
• Was it easy? Difficult?
• Deliverable - Summarize in a table how many
  conversations you each had where you1) charted
  that same day2) charted before class today, but
  not the same day3) didnt chart at all
• 4) ADDED estimate your TOTAL of
  conversations last week
• --------------------------------------------------
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3
In-Class Team Exercise 13b

• Discuss
• How did you do with Noticing Gossip this week?
• Count how many times share 2 examples
• Was it easy? Difficult?
• Deliverable - Summarize in a table how many
  conversations you each had where you1) charted
  that same day2) charted before class today, but
  not the same day3) didnt chart at all
• 4) ADDED estimate your TOTAL of
  conversations last week
• --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------

4
Speaking into the Listening of Others

• What are some examples of weak speaking?

5
Speaking into the Listening of Others

• What are some examples of weak speaking?
• Being indirect (not stating a request as a
  request)
• Being non-committal
• Being tentative
• Putting yourself down
• What are some words that connote weak speaking?

6
Speaking into the Listening of Others

• What are some words that connote weak speaking?
• Sort of
• Kind of
• Try
• What are some examples of weak speaking?
• Were going to, sort of, learn about
  listening.
• Ill try to e-mail you tonight.
• Why dont we have Chinese for lunch?

7
Speaking into the Listening of Others

• What are some words that connote STRONG
  speaking?
• Yes
• No
• I want, I request, I agree, I disagree
• What are some examples of STRONG speaking?
• We are going to learn about listening.
• I will e-mail you tonight.
• Id like to have Chinese for lunch?

8
Speaking into the Listening of Others

• Other forms of weak speaking
• Talking about the Past (Unless we focus on a
  lesson)
• Complaining (Almost always wasteful of time and
  focus)
• Gossiping (It reduces the listening we have for
  the object of the gossip)
• Forms of Strong speaking
• Talking about the Present / Future (If planning
  or building)
• Taking Your Complaints to Someone with Power
• Acknowledging Others

9
Electronic Text Communication

• Categories of Rules for Clear E-Text
  Communication
• General Rules Apply to ALL Electronic Text
  Communication
• E-mail Rules
• Instant Messaging (IM) Rules
• Text Messaging Rules (Do Some Differ from IM?)
• Discussion Board Rules
• My Space Rules

10
In-Class Team Exercise 12c

• What are the five (5) most important rules for
  clear DISCUSSION LIST communication?
• Discuss
• Each person should first rank their own top 3
• Hint Think of examples when people have violated
  unwritten rules what is the rule?
• The team should hold 3 rounds of discussion
  individuals discuss 1 of their 3 by using an
  example - each round
• The team should compare and choose the 5 most
  important
• NOTE When you find a general rule one that
  applies to all (or most) forms of electronic text
  take it out of this list and add it to the
  teams list of General Rules for E-Text
• --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------
• Deliverable List the teams top 5

11
In-Class Team Exercise 12d

• What are the five (5) most important rules for
  effective My Space communication?
• Discuss
• Each person should first rank their own top 3
• Hint Think of examples when people have violated
  unwritten rules what is the rule?
• The team should hold 3 rounds of discussion
  individuals discuss 1 of their 3 by using an
  example - each round
• The team should compare and choose the 5 most
  important
• NOTE When you find a general rule one that
  applies to all (or most) forms of electronic text
  take it out of this list and add it to the
  teams list of General Rules for E-Text
• --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------
• Deliverable List the teams top 5

12
In-Class Team Exercise 12e

• What are the five (5) most important GENERAL
  rules for effective Electronic Text
  communication?
• Discuss
• Each person should first rank their own top 3
• Hint Think of examples when people have violated
  unwritten rules what is the rule?
• The team should hold 3 rounds of discussion
  individuals discuss 1 of their 3 by using an
  example - each round
• The team should compare and choose the 5 most
  important
• NOTE When you find a general rule one that
  applies to all (or most) forms of electronic text
  take it out of this list and add it to the
  teams list of General Rules for E-Text
• --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------------------------------
  --------------------------
• Deliverable List the teams top 5

13
Gender Issues in Communication

• Deborah Tannen found -
• Women view comm as Rapport Men as Report
• Women experience comm as relatedness Men
  experience comm as status (one-up or one-down)
• Women are more likely to be indirect Men direct
• Women report a lack of comm in relationships Men
  dont
• Differences When Looking at Kids -
• Girls base relationships on talking boys base
  them on doing
• Girls groups are small Boys groups larger (also
  inclusive, hierarchical)
• Girls face each others, boys often dont
• Girls support by sharing the same problem, boys
  minimize
• Women Men
• Women verbalize agreement (participatory
  listenership), men use silence
• Women assume listeners job is agreement Men
  assume listeners job is to challenge or probe

14
Issues in Communication

• Girls Boys
• Boys have a hierarchy during play, Girls less so
• Boys see mistakes as more serious than girls do
• Play is performance art for boys, girls worry
  less about getting credit
• Boys solve disputes physically, girls use
  negotiation
• Direct vs. Indirect Comm
• Being Involved vs. Being Independent
• Deference vs. Camaraderie
• Positive Politeness (involvement) vs. Negative
  Politeness (not imposing) Brown Levinson
• Forging/eliciting consensus vs. manipulating
• Implying no without saying no
• Dishonesty vs. Hypocrisy

15
Issues in Communication

• Arguments
• Discussions in the media are more polarized today
• Cooperation and compromise is not much valued
  so people sit it out
• Tannens example of the smoker
• Relationships are about getting what you want
• How can that be done 1) without domination, and
  2) allowing others to get what they want
• The test of a first-rate intelligence is the
  ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at
  the same time, and still retain the ability to
  function. (F. Scott Fitzgerald)
• Everybodys right. (Ken Wilber)
• Family Communication
• Literal meaning vs. meta-messages
• Alignment do you have to choose sides?