How Not to Succeed in College

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How Not to Succeed in College

• 10 Sure Ways to Screw Up Your Future!

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1. Leave all your stuff behind.

• Backpacks are heavy!
• Textbooks are for nerds dont even buy them.
• Dont review material and assignments.
• Dogs DO eat homework!

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2. Cram!

• Dont study until the night before the test,
  preferably after 1100.
• Better yet, study 10 minutes before the class
  starts -- youll remember it better.

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3. Waste your time.

• If you have an hour between classes, find a place
  to take a nap.
• When your friend calls during studying, be sure
  to drop everything and go to the movies.

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4. Dont worry about notes.

• Surely youll remember what you heard.
• To a professor, doodling looks like note-taking!
• If you do write something down, leave it a mess
  in your notebook, and never look at it again.

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5. Ignore your instructor.

• All professors are alike anyway.
• Only people who have no friends get to know their
  instructors.
• Dont ask questions in class youll show your
  ignorance.
• If your professor is a few minutes late, head for
  McDonalds.

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6. Dont send out an S.O.S.

• If you are struggling or getting behind, youll
  eventually catch up on your own. Finish your
  video game first.
• You dont need the colleges free tutoring
  services only losers do that.

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7. Make school a low priority.

• Your boyfriend or girlfriend is your 1 priority,
  then parties, then your job, and then college.
• So what if you fail? Its only money.

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8. Give up easily!

• If your car wont start, go back to bed.
• If its too hot outside, go back to bed.
• If its too cold outside, go back to bed.
• You sneezed! You should go back to bed.

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9. Skip class.

• No one will know youre missing.
• You only need to show up on test days.
• They dont give pop quizzes in college.

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10. Cheat!

• It doesnt matter who wrote the paper!
• Youll never be caught.
• Professors dont watch to see if youre copying
  on a test.