Managing Difficult Negotiations

1
Managing Difficult Negotiations

• The difficult we do immediately. The impossible
  takes a little longer.
• Slogan of the United States Army Air Forces

Module 3, Week 3
2
Stressful Conversations

• Delivering bad news
• Anticipation of reaction
• Distasteful Content
• Communication disconnects
• Overreaction
• Misinterpretations
• Countering aggressive behavior
• Possible escalation of aggression
• Shock factor creates vulnerability

3
Preparing for Stressful Conversation

• Become aware of own weaknesses to people and
  situations
• Convert tacit self-knowledge to explicit
• Internal SWOT analysis
• Rehearse
• With neutral friend if possible for feedback
• In front of mirror, check nonverbals
• Handle situation incrementally
• Learn to relax and avoid precipitancy impulse
• Fine-tune the phrasing

4
Ingredients for Successful Stressful
Conversations

• Clarity
• Avoid euphemisms
• Use conciseness
• Tone
• Neutral
• Intonation
• Facial expressions
• Body language
• Temperate Phrasing
• Word functionality
• Communication, not transmission of intent or
  feelings

5
Transactional Analysis
Parent
Parent
Adult
Adult
Child
Child
6
Transactional Analysis II
Parent
Parent
Adult
Adult
Dialogue
Child
Child
Emotion-Laded Communication
7
Transactional Analysis III
Parent
Parent
Adult
Adult
Child
Child
Dialogue
Emotion-Laded Communication
8
Transactional Analysis IV
Parent
Parent
Adult
Adult
Dialogue
Child
Child
Goal Neutral Tone Communication
9
Managing the Conversation

• Honor thy partner
• Acknowledge responsibility
• Respect counterpart, the relationship, the issue
• Disarm by restating your intentions
• Clarification technique
• Align words with intentions
• Fight tactics, not people
• Separate counterpart character from behavior
• Neutralize tactic by naming it
• Keep things in perspective
• Take it outside (of yourself!)

10
Renegotiation

• Distinguished from initial negotiations
• Increased mutual knowledge
• Increased transactional understanding
• Increased mutual linkage

11
Renegotiation II

• Postdeal Renegotiations
• Expiration of agreement but parties wish to renew
  formal relationship
• Intradeal Renegotiation
• Agreement specifies times or events that allow
  review of provisions
• Extradeal Renegotiation
• One or both parties wish to correct a perceived
  inadequacy of an agreement while it is still in
  force

12
Postdeal Renegotiations

• By virtue of law, custom, or other commitment,
  parties obliged to negotiate at expiration of
  agreement
• General principles for postdeal negotiations
• Provide for postdeal renegotiations in original
  contract
• Individually and jointly review the history of
  the relationship during the original contract
• Understand thoroughly the alternatives to a
  renegotiated deal

13
Intradeal Negotiations

• Negotiations are viewed as more open-ended and
  flexible
• General principles for intradeal negotiations
• Implicit minor renegotiation clause
• Review clauses
• Automatic adjustment clauses
• Open-term provisions
• Formal renegotiation clauses

14
Extradeal Renegotiation

• No express provisions allow renegotiation
• General principles for extradeal negotiations
• Avoid negative responses to renegotiation
  demands, but try to understand reasons
• Evaluate the benefits of a legal proceeding
  against the benefits of future relationship
• Look for ways to create value in the
  renegotiation
• BATNAs, particularly costs, should be understood
• Involve stakeholders in renegotiation
• Design the right forum and process for
  renegotiation
• Involve the right mediator in the renegotiation
  process

15
Negotiating with Problem People

• Bullies Use of intimidation
• Avoiders Procrastinate or avoid responsibility
  to negotiate
• Withdrawers Do not actively participate in
  negotiations. Stall on commitments.
• High Rollers Make extreme demands, use
  exploding offers
• Wad Shooters Use Boulwarism, all-or-nothing,
  take-it-or-leave-it stance

16
Solutions for Dealing with Problem People I

• Get their attention
• Draw boundaries
• Especially good for bullies
• Call a spade a spade
• Identify the behavior to the person
• Works with most of the problem categories
• Put their fears to rest
• Assure the person to engage more cooperative
  behavior
• Important with avoiders and withdrawers

17
Solutions for Dealing with Problem People II

• Insist on playing by the rules
• Both the process and the settlement should use
  fair criteria
• Especially good for bullies, high rollers and wad
  shooters
• Put the ball in their court
• Exact reasoning for unreasonable demands
• Also especially good for bullies, high rollers,
  and wad shooters

18
Solutions for Dealing with Problem People III

• Use the silent treatment
• Calm silence communicates power.
• Works with all categories, particularly wad
  shooters
• Do the sidestep
• Ignore statements that are personal attacks,
  extreme demands, or Boulwarism
• Best for bullies, high rollers and wad shooters

19
Solutions for Dealing with Problem People IV

• Meet the enemy head-on
• Never be defensive, avoid justification
• The primary cure for bullies
• Refuse to be punished
• Find out what counterpart wants, draw a boundary
  of what you will tolerate
• Good for all categories
• Ask questions
• Tactic forces the aggressor to justify their
  position, provides information
• Useful for bullies, avoiders, and withdrawers

20
Solutions for Dealing with Problem People V

• Point out the consequences
• Try to present as statement of inevitable
  consequences rather than threat
• Useful in all categories
• Negotiate primarily with the Adult person
• Remain neutral in tone, avoid being hooked by
  child or parent nonrational demands
• Attempt to reach adult in conversation through
  reason
• Useful in all categories