Parent Child Problems

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Parent Child Problems

• Dealing with Power Struggles

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What Power StrugglesRepresent
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Some Positives About Power Struggles

• Ways for children to show their independence.
• Allow parents and children to deal with conflict
  constructively.
• Necessary for childrens growth and development

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Age Examples of Potential Power Struggles

• Little 3 year old Billy wants the toy at the
  dept. store.
• 8 year old Kathy is determined to ride her
  bicycle three blocks to a friends house.
• Joe is now 15 years old and tells you he is
  staying the weekend with a friend the same
  weekend a family visit is planned.

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The Power Struggle ConflictCycle
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Parents Role to Defuse Power Struggles

• Be a good listener
• Encourage input
• Provide limits and structure
• Sort through your own emotions
• Use I messages
• Avoid threats
• Awareness of your style (Intensity vs.
  Aggression)
• Avoid parent triangulation
• Know your childs emotional intensity

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Encourage Child To

• Give input to problem solving with their parents.
• Express feelings constructively.
• Allow for some practice to communicate
  effectively.
• Make good choices

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Parent Traps to Avoid

• Sending for reinforcements
• Liberation
• Surrendering or giving up
• Join the opposition

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Winning Strategies with Power Struggles

• Pick and choose battles
• Assign natural consequences
• Praise children following through on expectations
• Invite closeness ( touch, hugs, etc.)
• Use humor to frame power struggle in a positive
  way.

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For Additional Information

• Books
• Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles
• Winning For a Lifetime
• By Mary S. Kurcinka
• Techniques to use power struggles to increase
  understanding in families.
• Parents are given info. on being emotional
  coaches for their children

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Additional Info. (contd.)

• Books
• Unplugging Power Struggles Resolving Emotional
  Battles With Your Kids
• By Jan Faull, M.Ed.
• Skills to handle a variety of power struggles.
• Reestablish relationships after power struggle
  damage.

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For Assistance with Parent-Child
Conflicts

• Contact Your Employee Assistance Program
• at
• 1-866-440-6556
• for
• Confidential assessment and referral services