baby

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What is stranger anxiety?
Stranger anxiety, explained Babies can become
very clingy and anxious around new and even
familiar people and may cry if suddenly
approached by a stranger. While it may be
cringe-inducing for you as a parent, it's
actually a very normal part of your baby's
development. Stranger anxiety happens because
your baby has reached an important milestone
They're now able to tell the difference between
people they know well and those they don't. It
can be jarring if your baby used to coo and smile
at people they'd never seen before, but now
puckers up and cries when someone comes over to
say hello. Babies will do this even if the person
isn't a complete stranger It may happen even
around people they've met before and spent time
with, like your great-aunt Martha or that
babysitter you had a couple weeks ago. There's
actually an evolutionary reason for your baby's
fear Back in caveman times, infants needed to
stay close to family members for their
survival. Unfamiliar people represented a
threat. Stranger anxiety often develops around
the same time as separation anxiety, and they're
closely related. Both happen as babies form
attachments to their primary caregivers, gain an
understanding of object permanence (that people
still exist when out of sight), and recognize the
difference between familiar and unfamiliar
people. Eventually, your child will outgrow both
separation anxiety and stranger anxiety. When
does stranger anxiety start?
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• Stranger anxiety usually begins at 8 or 9 months,
  right around the time your baby's able to
  distinguish the familiar from the unfamiliar. But
  how long it lasts, and its intensity, varies from
  child to child. Stranger anxiety usually ends
  once your little one is 2 to 3 years old.
• During this time, your child may be open and
  affectionate with you, but clingy and anxious
  around people they don't know, or don't know
  well. Well-meaning relatives may tell you that
  you're spoiling your baby by soothing their
  fears.
• You're not! This is a normal developmental stage.
  And when your baby clings to you for comfort, it
  shows that your little one has a healthy bond
  with you.
• Though stranger anxiety is normal, talk to your
  child's doctor if it doesn't start to lift around
  age 2, or if it seems extreme for example, if
  your baby gets so upset they're unable to eat,
  drink, or settle down for a nap without you
  there. There's some evidence that chronically
  high levels of stranger fear or sharply
  increasing levels of stranger fear over time may
  be linked to greater risk for anxiety early in
  life.
• What if my baby only wants Mom?
• No need to worry this is actually quite common.
  Most babies develop an especially strong
  attachment to their primary caregiver, which is
  often Mom. This may change as they grow into
  toddlerhood Don't be surprised if your child
  switches back and forth between favorite people
  and insists on having just that person change
  their diaper or put them to bed.
• This phenomenon is part of a child's normal
  emotional development. But it can be exhausting
  when your baby insists on having only you 24-7.
  It's a good idea, as much as possible, to not bow
  to your baby's demands. Try to involve all
  regular caregivers in daily care and routines.
  Always acknowledge your baby's emotions, saying
  for example, "I know how sad you feel that Mama
  isn't doing bathtime. But it's Dada's turn
  tonight."
• Here are things you can do to make it easier when
  you leave your baby with your partner or another
  caregiver
• Try to leave when your baby is rested and fed.
• Make goodbyes short, sweet, and consistent. Then
  have the other person distract your baby with
  something like food or a toy as you leave.

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• Introduce a comfort object like a blankie or
  lovey so your baby has something to comfort them
  when you're gone.
• When you leave, tell your baby where you're going
  and that you'll be back. They may not understand
  at first, but they will eventually.
• Never sneak out or leave without saying goodbye
  it will make your baby more afraid that you'll
  disappear.
• How to help your child with a fear of strangers
• It can be awkward when you hand your baby over to
  Grandma or another relative and your little one
  lunges back toward you. But try not to be upset
  or embarrassed when your baby cries in someone
  else's arms. Your child needs your patience and
  understanding to get through this very important
  stage of development.
• To calm your baby down, take them back and hold
  them yourself. If you explain that your child is
  going through a normal phase, your friends and
  relatives should understand.
• Here are other ways to cope with stranger
  anxiety
• Ask others to use slow, gentle movements when
  they approach your baby.
• Since your baby responds to your cues, it's
  helpful if you're calm and relaxed when meeting
  anyone who's new to your baby.
• Be aware that your child may be more anxious
  around new people when they're tired, hungry, or
  sick.
• If your child refuses to be held by a friend,
  relative, or caregiver, try a slow
  desensitization process. First, work on having
  them be comfortable in your arms while the other
  person is around. Then, have the person talk and
  play with your child while you hold them. Then,
  hand your child over

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to the other person for a short time and stay
close. Finally, try to leave the room for a few
minutes, and see how it goes. If your child
bawls, try again. Go in and out of the room and
eventually, your child will be secure in the
knowledge that even though you're not around at
the moment, you'll always return. You don't have
to avoid being around new people or introducing
new faces, even when your child is in the thick
of stranger anxiety. They'll benefit from getting
used to being around people other than their
parents.