Driving back to NYC

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Driving back from NYC
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• Hello beautiful people!
•  
• Im so thankful for being able to spend a
  beautiful week with my friend Zeb and her family
  in NYC. After soaking up New York Citys energy
  and beautiful moments with Zeb, I drove back to
  Oklahoma. The plan was that I would be stopping
  in different states and see as much as possible.
  Zeb decided to come along because she could not
  trust the idea of me being alone in this journey.
  She has always been my guardian angel, who made
  sure that I was safe and okay. She drove with me
  to Ohio, and then went back. I drove the
  remaining 13 hours by myself.

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• I was excited to have this much time alone, to
  reflect, catch up on my podcasts, and listen to
  few tedtalks. What I did not realize is that
  during those hours some uncomfortable memories
  and pain were going to show up as well. You know,
  how we  all assume that were done dealing with
  our problems. Ha!!!

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• Grief, anger, and hopelessness are personal and
  selfish, until theyre not anymore. Eventually,
  they usually turn into good works and connection.
  Time takes time. We have to just let it be
  unbearable and awful for as long as it takes,
  before the pain become productive. St. Anne
  Lamott always reminds us that its the
  eventually part that blows.

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Driving back from NYC

• I can tell Im getting softer. Im so grateful to
  God for that. There were comments, that 5 year
  ago would have sent me into a deep depression.
  Not anymore. People need to say what they need to
  say. I hear people, who are furious at me for
  believing in God the way I do. I understand. I
  hear my friends who are defending God like their
  very lives depend on it. I understand.

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• As I was driving, my mind was going through so
  many things. Personal stories of love and hope,
  also some filled with pain and restlessness. I
  can feel the pain in stories of my clients and
  fear that undeniably exists. I know that we are
  all dealing with life to some extent in different
  places, and are looking for answers. I just know
  that I still love this broken place and the
  broken people in it. I am one of them, just
  working on myself and helping others to do the
  same. The brokenness is deeper and more painful
  than I have ever understood before. But the
  beauty is deeper and more blindingly present than
  I understood before either. That is what keeps me
  going on!

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• I am so grateful for you. I deeply, deeply
  cherish and appreciate you. Stay kind to your
  heart as you deal with old pains and
  disappointments. Do not forget to give yourself
  some credit that how you have transformed into an
  understanding being so you can be kind to others.
  I am here to remind you that we are so much more
  alike than different.