Where are the ‘Mommy’ Halloween costumes?

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Where are the Mommy Halloween costumes?

• Halloween is one of the most memorable times of
  the year especially for children. Wearing magical
  and adventurous costumes and decorating fake
  cobwebs, plastic spiders and Styrofoam tombstones
  is very amusing for trick or treating. Being
  bombarded with candy which you take away from
  your kids only to eat after they go to bed is
  fun. Halloween parties for kids are really fun
  but adult Halloween Costumes parties are freaking
  torture and boring. I have enough matters with
  now being 32, you absolutely arent in your 20s
  anymore, but you also cant claim to have just
  transitioned into your 30s either. Sometimes I
  think I am getting old but i need to maintain the
  fun. I need to get back to being me and not just
  mom. And then you realize that you need a costume
  so Im dealing with that in September and youre
  forced to find a costume for a friend of a
  co-workers best friends niece.
• Sometimes, we noticed that shopping for Halloween
  costumes is not what it used to be. I brightly
  recall being 4 years old, when my parents going
  out for a Halloween party.  My dad outfitted like
  a vampire, and my mom dressed like a mummy. She
  was covered head to toe with gauze and looked
  really awesome.Now if women do that shit, were
  definitely boring. Were old and now, were
  forced to dress up as some wet-dream version of a
  character our husbands might or might not have
  strange sick fantasies about.
• Are you familiar of sexy strawberry shortcake?
  Its not growing women clothing and wearing these
  costumes anymore but teenagers and college-aged
  girls. It is because my muffin top isnt fitting
  in any of those bus tiers, my boobs are not near
  perky enough to pull those necklines off, and the
  stretch marks on my inner thighs are not going to
  add character to those short tutus. So tell me
  what am I supposed to wear on Halloween?
• Party city had wonderful ideas for me. I can
  dress up like my kid, I can dress up like Im
  having another kid, or I can dress up in an
  outfit that perfectly depicts what I feel like on
  a daily basis. 32 years old and two kids later, I
  might not be a co-ed, but I am sure as hell Im
  not Aunt Gertie. And dont even get me started on
  Halloween outfits for little girls. Holy hell,
  all I can say is that even though I get really
  exhausted of looking at super hero costumes,
  thank goodness I have boys this time of year.
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