Trucking Incident memo report audience

1
Trucking Incidentmemo report audience

• Spangler is a stereotypical family-business Pres
• Mid-50s, socially and politically conservative
• Some college (took a few business and accounting
  classes at a state school in 1980) but dropped
  out
• Has worked at Spangler Trucking since 1980 (rose
  from driver to President), and has worked in each
  major division (dispatch, maintenance,
  accounting, marketing, etc)
• Very engaged in day-to-day business, so he is
  VERY busy
• Does NOT like needlessly complicated writing
• DOES like documents that are easy to skim and act
  on
• Does NOT like missing details
• DOES like having all the details on things really
  important to the company (he keeps copies of
  reports filed for reference)

2
Trucking Incidentmemo report writing style

• Use SHORT, SIMPLE, CLEAR statements
• First-person active voice (pp.145-47 656-58
  660-61)
• Avoid using more than one comma
• Stick to SUBJECT / ACTION /
  OBJECT
• Example The students are writing their
  reports.
• This will help you to
• Write clearly (simple sentences are clear)
• Write efficiently (simple sentences arent wordy)
• Write correctly (simple sentences use simple
  grammar)

3
BASICSknow what SUB / ACT /OBJ are

• whats the SUBJECT, ACTION, and OBJECT ?
• The agent ran up the hill.
• The fast agent ran up the very big hill.
• The fast and angry agent very quickly ran up the
  very big, barren, rocky hill.
• A TIP replace everything with pronouns
• HE very quickly ran up IT

4
BASICSknow the SIMPLE / COMPLEX difference

• SIMPLE sentences contain only ONE subject,
  action, and object
• The agent ran up the hill.
• COMPLEX sentences contain MORE THAN ONE subject,
  action, or object
• The agent and her sidekick ran up the hill and
  leaped over the wall.
• The agent ran up the hill. Her sidekick ran
  with her. They leaped over the wall.

5
SIMPLE sentences have

• ONE clear subject
• The person or thing doing the main action
• ONE main (direct) action
• The clearly most important action in the sentence
• ONE main (direct) object
• The clearly most important person, thing, or
  situation that is being acted on (the thing
  receiving the main action)
• Jack completely foiled the evil presidents plan.

6
SIMPLE sentences are . . .

• Simple to read
• EASILY
• QUICKLY
• CLEARLY
• Simple to edit
• CORRECTLY
• QUICKLY

7
COMPLEX sentences have

• Perhaps more than one main subject
• Perhaps more than one main important action
• Perhaps more than one main object
• Complex sentences have a lot going on in them, so
  they are tough to deal with really simply.
• Jack and all the other operatives at CTU quickly
  analyzed and completely foiled the evil
  presidents plan to equip monkeys with rayguns
  and, with the help of Russian mobsters, attack
  the United Nations (which was in session to
  consider sanctions for Russias invasion of a
  neighboring separatist state), thereby ensuring
  world peace.

8
COMPLEX (aka compound) sentences are . . .

• Harder to read easily
• Harder to read quickly
• Harder to edit later
• EASER to make grammatically ambiguous or
  incorrect

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for example . . .

• Jack Bauer climbed up the hill to get a pail
  full of water, and he went back down the hill and
  used the water to interrogate the corrupt
  president.
• QUESTION
• What is the CLEAR main subject, action, and
  object in this compound sentence?

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Editing TIPS

• It is NOT a simple sentence if
• There is more than one main action
• There is more than one main object
• There is a semicolon
• Use THIS rule of thumb
• Make each sentence ONE complete thought
• Dont use compound sentences UNLESS this makes
  the information more clear or easier to read
  quickly

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stick to SUBJECT / ACTION / OBJECT

• For example
• Jack Bauer climbed up the hill.
• He got a pail.
• The pail was full of water.
• Jack went back down the hill.
• He used the water.
• He interrogated the corrupt president.

12
SIMPLE sentences are . . .

• Simple to read
• EASILY
• QUICKLY
• CLEARLY
• Simple to edit
• CORRECTLY
• QUICKLY

13
So, make complex sentences SIMPLE !

• Jack quickly analyzed the evil president's plan.
• All the other operatives at CTU helped.
• They completely foiled the evil presidents plan.
  
• The evil president and Russian mobsters were
  going to equip monkeys with rayguns.
• The mobsters were going to help the president
  attack the United Nations with the monkeys.
• The United Nations was in session to consider
  sanctions for Russias invasion of a neighboring
  separatist state.
• Foiling the plan ensured world peace.

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Spot sentence elements with PRONOUNS

• HE quickly analyzed IT.
• THEY helped.
• THEY completely foiled IT.
• THEY were going to equip THEM with STUFF.
• THEY were going to help the president DO IT.
• IT was in session to consider IT.
• IT ensured IT.

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A final thought . . .

• Do you think using only simple sentences will
  make your writing sound dumb?
• Which will Spangler like MORE
• A report that uses only gradeschool-level
  wording, but has no mistakes and is incredibly
  easy to skim quickly and clearly?
• A report that uses complicated college
  composition wording, requires close reading to
  understand the information, and has some clear
  grammar mistakes?
• Ever heard of some Ernest Hemmingway guy?
• Recognize The Old Man and the Sea, For Whom
  the Bell Tolls?
• These (Nobel-winning) masterpieces almost
  exclusively use short, declarative, simple
  sentence statements and childlike grammar
• Dont confuse simple grammar with simple
  communication