The Secrets of ChurnnBurn Fundraising

1
The Secrets of Churn-n-Burn Fundraising

• How to keep a direct-mail lettershop humming
  constantly and profitably

2
About Donors

• Duh-nors - Not the brightest bulbs on the Xmas
  tree!
• They are all the same
• Not paying attention
• You can send them the same mailings many times!
• Not demanding
• Dont really know what charities do, dont care

3
Donor Acquisition

• Cheap packages
• Minimize paper real estate
• Simple, short message for short donor attention
  spans
• Find a control and mail it forever
• Avoid development costs
• Keep paper purchases predictable
• Content is of little importance
• They dont pay attention anyway!
• Keep it VAGUE
• Details and specificity only get you in trouble!

4
Donor Acquisition

• Guilt and obligation are the best motivations for
  donations
• Donors not dedicated enough for cause
  messaging!
• Cute premiums are best
• Dont even try to be relevant
• Its all about gross revenue TODAY

5
What size gifts?
Avoid major donors (30) - more trouble than
theyre worth!
6
Donor Cultivation

• Ha ha, tricked you theres no such thing as
  cultivation
• Keep mailing similar (or same!) packages to
  donors
• Receipts, schmeceipts!
• All mailings one topic only SEND MONEY NOW!

7
Avoid these things

• Newsletters
• Too costly, waste money on foolish things like
  paying copywriters
• Personalization beyond name/address
• It just raises unrealistic expectations
• Treating donors as individuals
• Needless versioning increases cost, annoys press
  workers
• Online - no way to collect commissions!

8
Above all

• Keep the presses running!
• Mail no matter what
• Dont stop to think
• Bust unions!

9
Now what?

• Do it again!
• And again
• And again
• And again
• And again
• And again
• And again