Manners

1
Manners

• Miss Tesla Birnbaum
• Miss Kate Hoctor
• Mr. Sagar Raich

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What Are Manners?

• Variety of meanings in late 18th century
• character of mind
• general way of life morals habits
• ceremonious behavior studied civility
• (Byrne 297)

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Importance of Manners

• Manners are key indicators of human behavior in
  society. They can reveal social status and its
  vicissitudes a matter of great interest in
  Austens age, which was a time of rapid social
  mobility.
• - Paula Byrne

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Importance of Manners

• "Etiquette is the barrier which society draws
  around itself as a protection. (It is) a shield
  against the intrusion of the impertinent, the
  improper, and the vulgar.
• - Charles William Day

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Everyday Manners
http//janeaustensworld.wordpress.com/page/14/
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Conduct Books

• Intended for middle class (particularly women)
• Often written by men, usually clergymen
• Instructions on how to behave during courtship
  and marriage how to be dutiful daughters and
  wives
• (Byrne 297-298)

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Conduct Books

• Dr. John Gregorys A Fathers Legacy to His
  Daughters (1774) very popular and influential
• Wit is the most dangerous talent you can
  possess
• Humor is a great enemy to delicacy, and still
  a greater one to dignity of character
• Be even cautious in displaying your good sense
• If you happen to have any learning, keep it a
  profound secret
• (Gregory 220-222)

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Eighteenth Century Collections Online.
9
Calling Cards

• The etiquette of calling was a firmly
  established ritual in society, and the calling
  card an essential part of introductions,
  invitations, and visits.
• - Paula Byrne
• Visiting and visited is the whole of a Womans
  life in England. (Byrne 299)

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Calling Cards

• Means of sending compliments
• Many purposes
• Introductions
• Health
• Invitations
• Take leave
• Congratulations/condolences
• Gratitude
• (Byrne 299)

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Calling Cards

• Make calls as soon as in town
• Remain in carriage while servant presents card to
  mistress of house
• Mistress not at home rejection
• On first call, leave card but do not ask
• Only make calls on At Home days
• Typically lasted 20-30 minutes
• Cards placed on silver salver or bowl
• Turned down corner
• Return call with call, card with card within one
  week
• (Byrne 300)

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http//www.janeausten.co.uk/magazine/page.ihtml?pi
d642step4
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Chaperones

• For young women of marriageable age (Byrne 300)
• Never be seen in company of man without chaperone
• Must not walk alone (Niceties)
• Accompanied by another lady, an appropriate man,
  or a servant
• Except walking to church or to a park in early
  morning

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Basic Etiquette Gentlemen

• Gentleman always introduced to lady.
• In riding horseback or walking along the street,
  lady always has the wall.
• You do not speak to a lady who you know only
  slightly if you meet her in the street unless
  she speaks to you first.
• In going up a flight of stairs, precede the lady
  in going down, you follow.
• (Niceties)

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Basic Etiquette Ladies

• Never call upon a gentleman alone unless
  consulting that gentleman in a professional or
  business matter.
• Never cut someone (fail to acknowledge their
  presence after encountering them socially) unless
  absolutely necessary.
• Do not wear pearls or diamonds in the morning.
• (Niceties)

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Other Everyday Manners

• Letters
• Unmarried men and women discouraged from writing
  until engaged (Byrne 301)
• Coming out
• To be introduced to society and thus to become a
  commodity on the marriage market (302)
• Concerns and conversation
• Gentleman hunting, shooting, politics (302)
• Ladies Neighbors, clothing, balls, indoor
  activities (303)

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Ball Manners
http//www.chawton.org/news/dancing.html
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Upon Arrival

• Tell the MC which dances you prefer
• Not too difficult
• Follow the music
• Acknowledge everyone you have eye contact with
  begin with the highest rank
• Unless you are late start at the top
• When Inactive on or off the floor support
  active dancers (details later)
• (Sullivan 162)

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Manly Manners During

• If accompanied by a lady, go in first to secure a
  seat (Pool)
• Remove your hat as a gesture for the ladies
  (Pool)
• A man is always introduced to a lady through a
  presiding party (MC) (Pool)
• Use My Ladyship not My Lady with ladies of
  title (McLeod)
• Nothing indicates a well-bred man more than a
  proper mode of eating his dinner. (McLeod)
• No smoking in the presence of ladies (Pool)

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Womanly Manners During

• No more than 3 dances with 1 partner! (Pool)
• Cant call on a man alone (go through MC) (Pool)
• Acknowledge those you meet face to face (Pool)
• Dont worry about Blushing Blushing in a man
  maybe a weakness, but in woman it is peculiarly
  engaging. (McLeod)
• The character of a toad-eater, flatterer, or
  sycophant is truly detestable (McLeod)

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Common Manners

• Dont pride on perfect dancing unless you want
  to be seen as a dance-master (McLeod)
• Dont kick or make noise during dancing (McLeod)
• Dancing is meant for hips downwards (McLeod)
• Retire gracefully Dont take the top twice
  (Sullivan 162)
• When leaving, make sure bell rings for the street
  door to be opened (McLeod)
• Cheerfulness is becoming to all times of life,
  but sportiveness belongs to youth alone (McLeod)

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Avoiding a Dance Partner

• Problem isnt saying no, problem is saying yes to
  someone else!
• General Tactics
• Avoid Use your girlfriends for this purpose
• Ignore Pretend not to hear him
• Hide Undignified, but gets the job done
• Lie Say dance is already promised to someone
  else make sure to find someone
• (Sullivan 164)

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The Following are

• Dancing with your female friends - ok
• If a dance is accepted, declining not ok
• If you reject a man and you dance with another
  man not ok (best option-sit out)
• Single men talking to each other ok
• If not dancing ok (best option-playing cards or
  supporting other dancers)
• (Lee-Riffe)

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Other General Ball Rules

• Dance for fun, not to win
• Participation more than expertise
• Courteous to your partner
• Attention only on partner no distractions
• If you need to talk sit out dances
• Careful Seem Egotistical if with a woman
• Careful Suspicious if with a man
• (McLeod, Sullivan, Lee-Riffe)

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Jane Austen and Manners
www.bookmarksmagazine.com/.../JaneAusten.gif
http//theclasstrip.wordpress.com/category/books/
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Yours Affectionately, J. Austen

• Letters Anna, her niece, about Annas heroine
• Remember, she is very prudent- you must not
  let her act inconsistently a woman in her
  situation would hardly go there, before she had
  been visited by other Families (Byrne 299).
• Let the Portmans go to Ireland, but as you know
  nothing of the Manners there, you had better not
  go with them. You will be in danger of giving
  false representations (Byrne 299).
• Importance of Manners in terms of plot and
  character development
• We can guess that Austen would have used the same
  guidelines in her own work

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Yours Affectionately,J. Austen

• Letters to brother, Frank, about their nieces
• July 3, 1813
• We have the pleasure of hearing that they are
  thought very much improved at home- Harriet in
  health, Cassy in manners.- The latter ought to be
  a very nice Child- Nature has done enough for
  her-but Method has been wanting (Byrne 30).
• Manners as Nature and Nurture
• How people are brought up when they are young
  sets the tone for them as adults.

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Manners in the Novel

• manners and morals
• The idea that novels should promote these values
  was new and controversial.
• The idea emerged out of the conduct book genre.
• Primary target was young women of the middle
  classes.
• (Byrne 297)

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Austens Use of Manners in Her Novels Conduct
BooksOne half of the world cannot understand
the pleasures of the other- Jane Austen, Emma

• Emma Emma discovers that her wit is dangerous-
  she hurts Miss Batess feelings at the picnic on
  Box Hill (Emma 37)
• PP Collins reads the Fordyce conduct book to
  the girls (PP 114)

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Austens Use of Manners in Her Novels Calling
Cardsor, I just left my calling cardto sayI
love you

• SS The Dashwood Sisters in London Marianne
  waiting for Willoughby- (SS 25)
• About a week after their arrival, it became
  certain that Willoughby was also arrived. His
  card was on the table when they came in from the
  morning's drive.
• "Good God!" cried Marianne, "he has been here
  while we were out." Elinor, rejoiced to be
  assured of his being in London, now ventured to
  say, "Depend upon it, he will call again
  tomorrow." But Marianne seemed hardly to hear
  her, and on Mrs. Jenning's entrance, escaped with
  the precious card.
• PP Jane waiting for Miss Bingley when she does
  show up, her short visit signals the end of the
  friendship- (PP 23)
• Caroline did not return my visit till
  yesterday and not a note, not a line, did I
  receive in the mean time. When she did come, it
  was very evident that she had no pleasure in it
  she made a slight, formal, apology for not
  calling , said not a word of wishing to see me
  again, and was in every respect so altered a
  creature, that when she went away, I was
  perfectly resolved to continue the acquaintance
  no longer.
• Basic manners vs. what is really meant

http//cache.boston.com/resize/bonzai-fba/Globe_Ph
oto/2008/03/28/1206750773_0819/539w.jpg
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Austens Use of Manners in Her Novels
ChaperonesThe chaperone's job is to make sure
no one else has any fun. But nobody chaperones
the chaperone. Jane Rusell

• SS Mrs. Jennings accompanies the Dashwood
  sisters in London
• NA Catherine Morland is accompanied by Mrs.
  Allen in Bath

http//www.jimandellen.org/ellen/MrsAllen07NA.jpg
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Austens Use of Manners in Her Novels Carriage
RidesThe Carriage held but just Ourselves And
Immortality.- Emily Dickinson

• NA General Tilney acted neither honourably nor
  feelingly neither as a gentleman nor as a
  parent when he sends Catherine Morland home
  alone in a carriage (NA 213).
• Emma Emma and Mr. Elton in the carriage
  together- the awkward proposal (Emma 115)

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Austens Use of Manners in Her Novels Letter
WritingA letter does not blush.- Marcus Tulius
Cicero

• MP Mary Crawford and Edmund Bertram do not
  correspond with one another, as this would be a
  breach of propriety, so they use Fanny Price as a
  conduit (Byrne 301).
• SS Marianne Dashwood and Willoughby- Elinor
  says, if we find they correspond, every fear of
  mine will be removed (SS 115)
• SS letter between Edward and Lucy Steele a
  correspondence between them by letter, could
  subsist only under a positive engagement, could
  be authorized by nothing else (SS 122).

http//www.nzetc.org/etexts/JCB-039/JCB-039i.jpg
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Austens Use of Manners in Her Novels Coming
Out(or, Get This Party Started)

• Lady Catherines comment to Elizabeth in PP
  (26)
• "All! -- What, all five out at once? Very odd!
  -- And you only the second. The younger ones out
  before the elder are married! Your younger
  sisters must be very young?"
•     "Yes, my youngest is not sixteen. Perhaps she
  is full young to be much in company. But really,
  ma'am, I think it would be very hard upon younger
  sisters, that they should not have their share of
  society and amusement, because the elder may not
  have the means or inclination to marry early. The
  last-born has as good a right to the pleasures of
  youth as the first. And to be kept back on such a
  motive! I think it would not be very likely to
  promote sisterly affection or delicacy of mind."
• Mary Crawfords confusion about Fanny (MP 210)
• So often as she had heard them wish for a ball
  at home as the greatest of all felicities! And to
  have them away when it was givenand for her to
  be opening the balland with Mr. Crawford too!
  The ball began. It was rather honour than
  happiness to Fanny, for the first dance at
  least

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Austens Use of Manners in Her Novels Dancing

• The gap between being unmarried and married is
  mediated not directly not by a simple offer of
  marriage but through a provisional and playful
  domain of conventionalized attentions, of which
  dancing is one of the most prominent (HS 92).
• PP to be fond of dancing was a certain step
  towards falling in love (13).
• MP (about Maria and Rushworths engagement )
  after dancing with each other at the proper
  number of balls an engagementwas entered into
  (14).

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Austens Use of Manners in Her Novels

• We seek the ability of Jane Austens complex,
  multivocal narratives to help us understand a
  world that is partially foreign and partially
  familiar in doing so we locate Austens texts as
  a form of social action which communicates with
  and about its constitutive principles of meaning
  (HS 150).
• Remember, Its the Rule-Breakers we love! (just
  as long as they dont go tooooo far)

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Suggestions forOur Ball
http//thebeautyofitall-suzanne.blogspot.com/
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Some tips for guests

• Young women remain accompanied as often as
  possible
• Gentlemen treat ladies with utmost respect
• Maybe enforce the stairs rule?
• Waive the rule about pearls/diamonds in the
  morning?

http//farm1.static.flickr.com/243/461928049_f2b3c
472cb.jpg?v0
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Some tips for guests

• Three dances with 1 person - unless romantically
  involved
• Don't necessarily have to go through MC
• Recognize MC - pay attention, talk to him, etc.
• Dancing - Don't have to be a master
• Respect other dancers
• Dance or Mingle- Dont be a Mr. Darcy!
• (Sullivan, McLeod, and Pool)

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Some tips for guests

• But most importantly
• Enjoy!