Redemption for Rejection

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Redemption for Rejection

• Presented
• by
• Martin E. Mallory
• (II Samuel 91-13)

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Definition

• To refuse to acknowledge or accept.
• To forsake.
• To refuse to have or use.
• To throw away as useless, unsatisfactory, or
  worthless.
• To discard as unwanted or not fulfilling
  requirements.
• To refuse to love.

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Mephibosheth One mans experience of rejection
and restoration.

• 2 Samuel, 44 91-13.
• As a child, father (Jonathan) and grandfather
  (Saul) killed in battle.
• In escape attempt, fell and was crippled.
• Perceived rejection from missing father.
• Deformity causes peer rejection. Results in
  self-rejection, identity distortions, etc.
• Name in Hebrew is thought to mean From the mouth
  of the shameful thing.

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Mephibosheth One mans experience of rejection
and restoration.

• Note his response to Davids desire to honor him.
  
• What is your servant that you should notice a
  dead dog like me?
• King Davids action was restorative and though
  the disability may have never been cured, it was
  covered by the provision of the Kings table.

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• Psalm 235
• You prepare a table before me in the presence
  of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my
  cup overflows.

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Mephibosheth One mans experience of rejection
and restoration.

• Rejection will prevent us from sitting at the
  table to commune with the Lord.
• The King shows covenantal love. (1Sam.20)
• The King restores what has been taken.
• The provision of the Kings table (like one of
  the Kings sons vs. 11) covers rejection.

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Rejection Affects The Whole Person

• Spirit
• Proverbs 1814 - A mans spirit sustains him in
  sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?
• Soul
• The mind, will, and emotions.
• Body
• Often based on dislike of body or body part
• Often affects bodily health

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The Source of Rejection

• The source is not the same as the root.
• For a root to grow, there must be something
  planted in the soil a seed of sorts.
• The Garden, the Enemy, the Choice
• Garden was perfect
• Enemy said there was more
• Adam and Eve disobeyed, rebelled and (therefore)
  rejected God.
• Innocence was replaced with shame.

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The Roots of Rejection

• Matthew 310 -
• The ax is already at the root of the trees, and
  every tree that does not produce good fruit will
  be cut down and thrown into the fire.

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The Roots of Rejection

• Importance of working ones way from the fruit,
  down the branches, down the trunk of ones
  problems to discover the roots.
• This is below ground, invisible, yet is the
  anchor point. From here the tree can be cut
  down.

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• No weed, no root, no problem.

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The Roots of Rejection

• Amos 29 -
• I destroyed the Amorite before them, though he
  was tall as the cedars and strong as the oaks. I
  destroyed his fruit above and his roots below.

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The Roots of Rejection

• Can begin before birth

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The Roots of Rejection

• Consider the following from The Secret Life of
  the Unborn Child, (Verney and Kelly)
• We now know that the unborn child is an aware,
  reacting human being who from the sixth month on
  (and perhaps earlier) leads an active emotional
  life.

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The Roots of Rejection

• Along with this startling find we have made these
  discoveries
• a. The fetus can see, hear, experience, taste
  and, at a primitive level, even learn in utero.
  Most importantly he can feel - not with an
  adults sophistication, but feel nonetheless.

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The Roots of Rejection

• b. Moreover, what a child feels and perceives
  begins shaping his attitudes and expectations
  about himself. Whether he ultimately sees
  himself (and hence acts) as a happy or sad,
  aggressive or meek, secure or anxiety ridden
  person depends in part on the messages he gets
  about himself in the womb!

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The Fruit of Rejection

• Two manifestations of the reaction to rejection
• 1. Outwardly, visible, external.
• Over emotional
• Overbearing behavior
• Aggressive in attitude. - defends by attacking
  others.

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The Fruit of Rejection

• Two manifestations of the reaction to rejection
• 2. Hidden or internal
• Controlled suppression of emotions
• Escape into themselves
• Dont cope well with reality
• Easier to hide and not communicate honestly

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The Fruit of Rejection

• Also can be seen in primary versus secondary
  responses
• 1. Primary
• Inability to receive love
• Inability to communicate or give love
• We love because he first loved us.
• - 1 John 419

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The Fruit of Rejection

• Also can be seen in primary versus secondary
  responses
• 2. Secondary
• Those who give in.
• Those who hold out.
• Those who fight back.

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The Fruit of Rejection

• Also can be seen in primary versus secondary
  responses
• 2. Secondary
• Those who give in.
• Believe there is nothing they can do.
• Leads to spiraling of negative emotions ending in
  desire for and inflicting of death.
• Self-destructive or risky behaviors.
• They have an inner desire to die.

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The Fruit of Rejection

• Also can be seen in primary versus secondary
  responses
• 2. Secondary
• Those who hold out.
• Build up a defense which is really a facade that
  covers the persons struggle.
• May appear very strong.
• Develops a superficial happiness.

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The Fruit of Rejection

• Also can be seen in primary versus secondary
  responses
• 2. Secondary
• Those who fight back.
• Fights everything - oppositional.
• Reactions to rejection begin with resentment,
  then hatred and finally rebellion. (See 1 Samuel
  1523)
• Need for control
• Engages in self-injury
• Characterized by deep shame.

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Jesus and Rejection

• His birth and early life.
• Emotional implications for Mary.
• Gossip, scandal and rumor
• No room in the Inn - Born in a stable among
  animals.
• His period of ministry
• Wherever he went during 3 1/2 years of ministry
  there was plenty of rejection.

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Jesus and Rejection

• His own people.
• In his hometown, people tried to throw him off a
  cliff in response to his teaching. (Luke 428-30)
• Name Samaritan was a great insult to a Jew.
  (John 848)
• More than once he was accused of having a demon.
  (John 720)
• He was judged for being with sinners (others that
  were also rejected).
• Mocked and insulted during the crucifixion.
  (Matt. 2739)

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Jesus and Rejection

• He was in the world, and though the world was
  made through him, the world did not recognize
  him. He came to that which was his own, but his
  own did not receive him. - John 110-11

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Jesus and Rejection

• The Leaders
• From the beginning they rejected him because they
  saw he had authority and power. (Luke 436)
• Claimed he was a blasphemer (Mark 26)
• Plotted to kill him (Mark 36)
• Announced he was demonized (Mark 322)
• Condemned because his disciples ate the wrong
  food (Mark 75)

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Jesus and Rejection

• The Leaders
• Pushed him to prove himself (Mark 811)
• Authority questioned (Mark 1128)
• Falsely accused (Mark 1455-59)
• His Family
• Wanted to take charge of him because they thought
  he was out of his mind (Mark 321)
• Did not believe him (John 75)

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Jesus and Rejection

• His Disciples and Friends
• Even after 3 years with Jesus, none were with him
  in the end.
• Many turned and no longer followed (John 666)
• Was betrayed by one (Luke 223-747-48)
• Even Peter denied him (Luke 2223)
• At the worst time in his life, his disciples
  simply fell asleep (Mark 1437-41)

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Jesus and Rejection

• His Own Words
• Repeatedly told of his coming rejection and death
  (Luke 922 944 1725 1832)
• His friends were slow to understand. Not until
  after the resurrection did they remember his
  words (Luke 248)

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Jesus and Rejection

• His Greatest Rejection
• Nothing can compare to the crucifixion.
• Jesus had to deal with the spiritual side as
  well. Took on our sin and experienced rejection
  of the Father.

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Jesus and Rejection

• The Result
• Jesus divine exchange means that instead of
  being and feeling rejected, we can receive
  healing, acceptance, affirmation, adoption, love,
  security, etc.

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• Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord
  Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly
  realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
  For he chose us in him before the creation of the
  world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In
  love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons
  through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his
  pleasure and will - to the praise of his glorious
  grace, which he has freely given us in the One he
  loves. In him we have redemption through his
  blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance
  with the riches of Gods grace that he lavished
  on us with all wisdom and understanding -
  Ephesians 13-7

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Healing From Rejection

• 1. An Honest Appraisal
• Call it what it is - rejection. This can be
  painful to do since avoidance feels like
  insulation from the reality.
• Take responsibility for your behavior.
• Assess the fruit and discover the root

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Healing From Rejection

• 2. Repent
• For sinning against ourselves, others and God.
• Note that the evil done against us is often not
  our biggest problem. Its our reaction to that
  evil.
• This includes wrong attitudes as well as actions.

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Healing From Rejection

• 3. Forgive
• If you have been rejected, there will undoubtedly
  be someone who has hurt you that you will need to
  forgive. Can include yourself or God.
• Failure to forgive is one of the most common
  barriers to receiving Gods blessing.
• It is not the one who is resented who suffers the
  most. It is the one who resents.

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• Like the man with an ulcer, the issue in
  unforgivenss is not what the man is eating, but
  what is eating the man.

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We cannot afford not to forgive!

• The one who pursues revenge should dig two
  graves
• --Chinese Proverb
• The bitter heart eats its owner.
• --Bantu Proverb

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• Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea,
  until they have someone to forgive.
• - C.S. Lewis

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Healing From Rejection

• 3. Forgive
• Key Scripture story is the parable of the
  unmerciful servant (Matthew 1821-35)
• God was under no obligation to forgive us, yet He
  did. Our pattern is to be the same.
• Jesus is the pattern.
• Because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an
  example, that you should follow in His steps (1
  Peter 221)
• Father forgive them, for they do not know what
  they are doing. (Luke 2334)

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Healing From Rejection

• Note Un-forgiveness imprisons the one who will
  not forgive. They are held captive. Those in
  captivity are subject to torture and torment.
  Un-forgiveness can create an entrance for demonic
  powers.

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The offended person is emotionally and
spiritually BOUND to the offender by
unforgiveness. Such a grudge sustains the hurt
the offended person feels.

• This bondage can never be broken (no matter how
  much distance is put between them) except by
  forgiveness. The offender should ask to be
  forgiven, but he may never do so. Consequently,
  the offended must initiate forgiveness.

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Healing From Rejection

• 4. Make a conscious decision to rid yourself of
  the bad fruit that rejection has produced.
• Some change may occur as a result of forgiving.
• Some may require systematic behavior modification
  and renewal of the mind.
• All will need the power of the Holy Spirit to be
  fully accomplished.

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Healing From Rejection

• 5. Receive and believe what God has already done
  for you.
• Recall Ephesians 1. In love he predestined us to
  be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in
  accordance with his pleasure and will... In him
  we have redemption through his blood, the
  forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the
  riches of Gods grace that he lavished on us
• Gods purpose from eternity has been to make us
  His children. The truth is, through Jesus, God
  has already accepted you.

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Healing From Rejection

• 6. Accept yourself

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The greatest trap in our life is not success,
popularity or power, but self-rejection...Self-rej
ection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual
life because it contradicts the sacred voice that
calls us the Beloved. --Henri Nouwen

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Healing From Rejection

• 6. Accept yourself
• Put an end to self-criticism and belittling self.
• Remember you did not make yourself, God made you.
• Ephesians 210 -We are Gods workmanship.
  The word workmanship is the Greek word poiema,
  from which we get the word poem. It suggest
  artistic achievement. We are Gods masterpieces.

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Healing From Rejection

• 6. Accept yourself
• You can no longer evaluate yourself based on your
  life before Christ.
• Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new
  creation, the old has gone, the new has come - 2
  Corinthians 517.
• This step requires the overwriting of the old
  patterns of self-talk.

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One Of Our Greatest Needs

• To be fully known and loved unconditionally
  anyway.
• But God demonstrates his own love for us in
  this While we were still sinners, Christ died
  for us. (Romans 58)

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PRAYER FOR RELEASE

• Lord Jesus Christ, I believe that you are the
  Son of God and the only way to God. You died on
  the cross for my sin and you rose again from the
  dead. I repent of my sin and forgive every other
  person, as I know you have forgiven me. I
  forgive all those who have rejected me, hurt me,
  and failed to show me love and I trust you Lord
  to forgive me.

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• I believe that you do accept me. Because of the
  work accomplished on the cross, I am accepted. I
  am highly favored. I am the object of your love
  and care. You want me. Your father is my
  father. Heaven is my home. I am a member of the
  family of God. I am accepted.

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• I accept myself the way you made me. I am your
  workmanship and I thank you for what you have
  done. I believe you have begun a good work in me
  and you will carry it on to completion.

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• Now Lord, I proclaim my release from any dark,
  evil spirit that has taken advantage of the
  wounds in my life. I release my spirit to
  rejoice in you. In Jesus name, Amen.

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Healing From Rejection

• Final Notes
• Emotional healing is like a ladder, not a single
  rung. Its a process, rarely a one-time event.
• The irony of healing. All wounded-ness happens
  in the context of relationships. All healing
  happens in the context of relationships.

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Healing From Rejection

• Ongoing goals
• 1. The place of scripture.
• How we read, and apply scripture is essential to
  our freedom in Christ.
• 2. Prayer.
• Our days must be filled with communion with God.
• 3. Worship
• Individually and collectively.
• 4. Renewal of the mind
• Battle is in our thought life and our will.
• 5. Positive confession
• Not unreality, but our self-talk must be
  challenged constantly. Edify, build up, exhort,
  stir up, comfort, cheer up. (1 Corinthians 143)

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Healing From Rejection

• 6. The Fatherhood of God
• Learn to relate to God as Father.
• 7. Masculinity - Femininity
• Key to understanding our identity.
• 8. Esteem and confidence
• This has been undermined by rejection and will
  need to be addressed with a healthy sense of
  worth.
• 9. The Body of Christ
• Do not isolate yourself
• 10. Submit and resist
• Many resist the enemy, but fail to submit to God
  (James 47). Understand our authority as
  believers and submit to God first.