Domestic Violence Counseling Essentials: From Resistance to Real Change

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Domestic Violence Counseling EssentialsFrom
Resistance to Real Change

• Presented by
• Scott Barrella, MS MFT
• 2005

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Costs of Violence to Batterers

• 1.       Material costs of violence Material
  things, other possessions, money spent, job loss
  or work impact?
• 2.       Time Costs Loss of time with family,
  time spent in jail, work release, work furlough,
  or other time related losses? What would you
  have been doing instead with that time?
• 3.       Emotional Costs Loss of trust, respect
  from others, self-respect, innocence, having to
  report to Probation Searches of your home, car,
  business, etc.
• 4.       Impact to children Kids fear you, may
  resent you, having nightmares, doing their own
  abuse on siblings or others,
• 5.       Impact to Marriage/Relationship
  Distrust (both directions), fear, power switch,
  passive reactions toward her, etc.

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List of Characteristics

• Verbal Insults
• Jealousy
• Control
• Rough Sex
• Inadequacy
• Blame
• Jekyll Hyde
• Rigid Sex Roles
• Lack of Stress Mgt Skills

• Passive Aggressive
• Guilt Trip/Pressure
• Unrealistic Expectations
• Abuses Trust
• Witnessed DV
• Economic Control
• Self Destructive
• Isolates Her

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Attachment Theory and Batterers

• Source Daniel Sonkin

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What I would like you to remember from today

• Consequences are a required for change
  especially for clients in denial.
• Batterers can change with appropriate
  interventions.
• Future Generations are counting on us to do good
  work with these cases when they present
  themselves.