Giving Feedback on Student Writing

1
Giving Feedback on Student Writing

• Lecture 4
• Teaching Writing in EFL/ESL
• Joy Robbins

2
Todays Session

• Looks in detail at Hyland Hylands (2001)
  investigation into how 2 teachers gave feedback
  to their students on their writing, and how the
  students responded

3
The Role of Feedback

• Teachers may be fulfilling several different and
  possibly conflicting roles as they give feedback
  sometimes acting as teacher, proofreader,
  facilitator, gatekeeper, evaluator, and reader at
  the same time. (Hyland Hyland 2001 187)
• What do Hyland Hyland mean by this? How can a
  teacher act as teacher, proofreader, facilitator,
  gatekeeper, evaluator, and reader when giving
  feedback?
• Are there any other roles which you think
  feedback fulfils?

4
Feedback the Student Teacher Relationship

• In addition, the teachers personal knowledge
  of the writer is usually greater than it would be
  between for example a book reviewer and an
  author, and they probably have more interest in
  creating and maintaining a good face-to-face
  relationship with the student. (Hyland Hyland
  2001 187)

5
Hylands Informants Data

• 6 international students (3 undergrad, 3
  postgrad) on pre-sessional courses at a New
  Zealand university
• Students from China, Japan, Korea, Taiwan,
  Thailand
• 2 teachers (1 for undergrad class, 1 for postgrad
  class), both experienced writing instructors
• Hyland analyzed teachers comments written at the
  end of each piece of writing for (1) praise (2)
  criticism and (3) suggestion

6
Praise

• Praise is defined as an act which attributes
  credit to another for some characteristic,
  attribute, skill, etc., which is positively
  valued by the person giving feedback. (Hyland
  Hyland 2001 186)
• Example of teacher comment offering praise
• Vocabulary is good

7
Criticism

• Criticism is defined as an expression of
  dissatisfaction or negative comment on a text.
  (Hyland Hyland 2001 186)
• Example of teacher comment offering criticism
• Poor spelling

8
Suggestion

• Suggestion is defined as coming from the more
  positive end of a continuum. Suggestions differ
  from criticisms in containing an explicit
  recommendation for remediation, a relatively
  clear and accomplishable action for improvement,
  which is sometimes referred to as constructive
  criticism. (Hyland Hyland 2001 186)
• Example of teacher comment offering suggestion
• You need a more general statement to introduce
  the topic

9
Drafts vs. Final Essays (1)

• Do you/Should you give students different kinds
  of feedback on their writing, depending on
  whether theyre writing a first draft or the
  final version of their essay? Why (not)?

10
Drafts vs. Final Essays (2)

• Feedback offered at a draft stage will often be
  different from feedback on a final product,
  intended to perform a different function. Many
  teachers view feedback on drafts as more
  developmental and so offer more critical comments
  on specific aspects of the text, while feedback
  on a final product is likely to give a holistic
  assessment of the writing, praising and
  criticising more general features. (Hyland
  Hyland 2001 188)

11
Types of Comments on Drafts vs. Final Essays ()
Draft Final Total
Praise 26.2 73.8 100
Criticism 54 46 100
Suggestion 46.6 53.4 100
Totals 39.2 60.1 100
12
Drafts vs. Final Essays (3)

• nearly three quarters of all praise was
  reserved for final drafts. Interviews with the
  two teachers revealed that Nadia felt happier
  offering critical comments on drafts where there
  was potential to improve them, and Joan was
  uncomfortable making critical comments on drafts
  without appending a positive comment. In final
  versions, it seems that praise was extensively
  used to motivate the students in their next
  writing. Although the type of feedback the
  students received most often overall was praise,
  the feedback they received most on first drafts
  was criticism. (Hyland Hyland 2001 194)
• Do you agree with Nadia and Joans comments?

13
Sugaring the Pill Mitigation in Feedback

• baldly negative comments such as Poor
  spelling or Referencing is inadequate were
  rare. In fact, 76 of all criticism and 64 of
  suggestions were mitigated in some way. Praise
  was presented baldly 75 of the time but was
  itself widely used to tone down the negative
  effect of comments. (Hyland Hyland 2001 194)

14
Sugaring the Pill Strategies

• What different ways can you think of to sugar the
  pill when giving (negative) feedback? In other
  words, how can you make students feel a little
  better about themselves?

15
4 Ways Hylands Informants Sugared the Pill

• Hyland identifies 4 ways the 2 teachers in her
  study sugared the pill
• (1) Paired act patterns
• (2) Hedges
• (3) Personal attribution
• (4) Interrogative syntax
• Lets look at them in turn

16
(1) Paired Act Patterns

• This is when critical feedback is combined with
  praise, suggestion, or both praise and
  suggestion.
• Criticism was combined with praise in 20 of the
  teachers remarks, with suggestion in 15 of
  remarks, and with a combination of praise and
  suggestion in 9 of remarks.

17
Criticism Praise Example Comments

• Vocabulary is good but grammar is not accurate
  and often makes your ideas difficult to
  understand.
• The idea is OK, but the problem with this essay
  is the difficulty of finding the main idea.
  (Hyland Hyland 2001 195)

18
Criticism Suggestion Example Comments

• This conclusion is all a bit vague. I think it
  would be better to clearly state your conclusions
  with the brief reasons for them.
• This is a very sudden start. You need a more
  general statement to introduce the topic. (Hyland
  Hyland 2001 195)

What do you think of using paired act patterns
when you give feedback?
19
(2) Hedges

• Examples of hedges include perhaps, slightly, and
  a little, and are used to tone down criticisms
  and reflect a positive, sympathetic relationship
  with student-writers.
• Theyre NOT used here to lessen possibility, but
  to mitigate the interpersonal damage of critical
  comments. (Hyland Hyland 2001 196-7)

20
Hedges Examples

• Where are the hedges in the comments below?
• Some of the material seemed a little long-winded
  and I wonder if it could have been compressed a
  little.
• Tomoko wrote well on this, you might ask to read
  hers.
• It might also be good to change the order of your
  paragraphs/ideas. (Hyland Hyland 2001 197)

21
(3) Personal Attribution

• judging anothers work is always an inherently
  unequal interaction because the power to evaluate
  is nonreciprocal and lies exclusively with the
  teacher. By expressing their commentary as a
  personal response, however, teachers can make a
  subtle adjustment to the interactional context
  and perhaps foreground a different persona. It
  allows them to relinquish some of their authority
  and adopt a less threatening voice. In other
  words, personal attribution allows teachers to
  react as ordinary readers, rather than as
  experts, and to slightly reposition themselves
  and their relationship to the student-writer.
  The personal expression of criticism, then,
  reminds the reader that the comment carries only
  the view of one individual, thereby conveying the
  limitation of the criticism. (Hyland Hyland
  2001 198)

22
Personal Attribution Examples

• Im sorry, but when reading the essay, I couldnt
  see any evidence of this really. Perhaps you
  should have given me your outline to look at with
  the essay.
• (Contrast the impersonal construction it was
  hard to see any evidence of this)
• I find it hard to know what the main point of
  each paragraph is.
• (Contrast the impersonal construction it is
  hard to know what the main point is)

23
(4) Interrogative Syntax

• Questions are a means of highlighting knowledge
  limitations and can be used to weaken the force
  of a statement by making it relative to a
  writers state of knowledge. While they generally
  seek to engage and elicit a response from the
  reader, questions also express the writers
  ignorance or doubt and, therefore, can mitigate
  the imposition of a suggestion or a criticism.
  (Hyland Hyland 2001 198-9)

24
Interrogative Syntax Examples

• The first two paragraphsdo they need joining?
•  
• In addition, questions are also useful when one
  wishes to protect oneself or ones reader from
  the full effects of what might be considered
  serious allegations.
• You only mention Ward once in the essay. Are all
  the other ideas your own? You need to make it
  clear which are yours and which are hers.
• Did you get some help with the editing? (Hyland
  Hyland 2001 198-9)
• What serious allegation do Hyland Hyland have
  in mind here?

25
Sugaring the Pill Your Views

• Do you use mitigating strategies when you correct
  students work?
• If so, do you use the same strategies as the
  teachers in Hyland Hylands study? If you use
  alternative strategies, what are they? Why do you
  use them?
• Do mitigating strategies work? (In other words,
  do they make students feel a little better?) How
  do you know whether they work or not? How could
  you find out?
• What would make you change the way you give
  feedback to students on their writing?

26
Teachers Reasons for Sugaring the Pill (1)

• Hyland Hyland show how interviews with the
  teachers revealed the reasons for mitigating
  criticism
• Joan mentioned an experience on a previous
  course which had affected the way she gave
  feedback, making her less willing to be directly
  critical
• I had a Korean student who was kind of a
  fossilisation problem, I guess. And her writing
  was just full of errors and like you didnt even
  have paragraphs and it was very short. On the
  very first test, I think I made some
  criticismand she wrote in her journal that she
  found this very devastating and please try and
  encourage me and so after that I modified my
  feedback to try and be more positive. . (Hyland
  Hyland 2001 199-200)

27
Teachers Reasons for Sugaring the Pill (2)
Plagiarism

• Another possible reason for mitigating the force
  of comments was to minimise the possible threat
  which criticism carries for the face or public
  self-image of students. This was particularly
  evident in cases where teachers dealt with
  plagiarism, a very sensitive issue for feedback
  and something teachers are often unwilling to
  address directly. (Hyland Hyland 2001 200-1)

28
Plagiarism (contd.)

• The teachers sensitivity towards this issue is
  revealed by think-aloud data. The teachers speak
  into a tape recorder while writing their
  feedback
• It doesnt sound like her wordsI hate accusing
  people of plagiarism, but when you think it is,
  what do you do?
• Joan wrote as her feedbackWhere did you get
  this information? Have you used quotations?and
  considered the interrogative form a subtle way
  of doing it. Unfortunately, the students
  retrospective interview revealed that she failed
  to identify these as rhetorical questions and to
  detect the underlying criticism and the implicit
  suggestion. The offending text remained in her
  final draft. (Hyland Hyland 2001 201)

29
Students Reactions to Praise

• How do students react to praise/positive
  feedback?
• Does this vary from culture to culture? What
  other factors might affect how students respond
  (e.g. age, gender, etc.)?
• As a language learner, were you ever asked what
  kind of feedback you wanted on your writing? If
  so, what happened?
• If youre a teacher, have you ever asked your
  students what kind of feedback they wanted? If
  so, what did they say?

30
Student Reactions to Praise Hyland Hyland

• Students reactions varied
• Some thought such feedback served no useful
  function. A student in Nadias class, Zhang, for
  example, believed positive remarks were useless
  unless they were backed up by serious comments
  that he could act on.  
• This view of positive comments was reinforced by
  another student in Nadias class, Mei Ling, who
  said she discounted positive comments because I
  want to know my weaknesses most. (Hyland
  Hyland 2001 201-2)

31
Students Reactions (2)

• Mei Ling explained what she meant in her
  interview
• She spoke against positive feedback as a waste
  of time what she wanted was what she termed
  negative feedback highlighting her problems.
  For her, positive comments were insincere and,
  therefore, worthless 
• Sometimes maybe the teacher doesnt mean it,
  but they just try to encourage you. Because
  there is always but after the positive.
  Sometimes the teacher just tries to find
  something good in my essay and then may be that
  strength is not the main point. (Hyland Hyland
  2001 202)

32
Students Reactions (3)

• However, other students enjoyed receiving praise.
  Another student said
• If teacher give me positive comments it means I
  succeed. (Hyland Hyland 2001 202)

33
Responding to Student Reactions

• Heres one reaction by a teacher to Hyland
  Hylands student informants comments
• Its clear they dont know what kind of
  feedback they want and what kind of feedback they
  need. I wouldnt change a thing. The students
  cant make up their minds.
• Whats your response to these comments?
• What light do these students comments throw on
  the best way of giving feedback?
• If the students in your class had said the things
  Hyland Hylands student informants did about
  feedback, how would you conduct feedback in
  future? What changes would you make from what you
  do now (if any)?

34
Lesson different students like different types
of feedback

• Hyland Hylands (2001) study demonstrates that
  different students want different types of
  feedback, confirming earlier studies by
  Enginarlar (1993) and Radecki Swales (1988)
• Hence Goldstein (2005) argues persuasively that
  its important for us as teachers to find out
  exactly what type of feedback different students
  in our classes want, otherwise dissatisfaction
  can be the result

35
Finding out what feedback students want

• Here are some of Goldsteins (2005) ideas for
  finding out what students feedback preferences
  are
• First, we can ask students to write
  autobiographies, detailing their past experiences
  as writers, including as complete a description
  as possible of the types of feedback they have
  received from previous teachers, what they did
  and did not like about this feedback, and what
  they did after they received this feedback. If
  they have saved any of their work that has
  teacher commentary on it, students can be
  encouraged to attach this work. We can also
  devise questionnaires in which we ask students
  about their preferences. (pp.50-1)
• Goldstein (2005) recommends that teachers also
  discuss with students all the different ways
  feedback can be done, so they realize they dont
  necessarily have to like the way theyve been
  given feedback in the past

36
Mitigated Feedback Miscommunication

• it soon became clear during the student
  interviews that they were often unable to
  understand the teachers mitigated comments.  
• Each case study provided several examples
  where students failed to understand, or only
  partly understood, such mitigated comments.
  (Hyland Hyland 2001 202-3)

37
Miscommunication Example 1

• Our first example comes from Nadias response to
  Zhangs assignment where she wanted him to define
  a term which he used throughout the essay. She
  drew his attention to this with a bald criticism
  followed by an interrogative suggestion
• My concern in this essay is that you introduce
  several terms in the introduction but do not
  provide a definition for any. I should like to
  know more about macroscopicis this what you
  are talking about in your conclusion?
• However, in his final draft of the essay, the
  term was still being used without a definition,
  and Nadia commented that this aspect still
  hasnt changed in this version. Zhang was
  surprised and somewhat put out to read this
  comment and said that he didnt understand what
  she wanted. (Hyland Hyland 2001 202-3)

38
Miscommunication Example 2

• Joan felt that Keith was repeating himself and
  tried indirectly to alert him to the fact that
  certain information was superfluous with a hedged
  criticism
• Joans tape-recorded comments when writing her
  feedback show how she tries to mitigate her
  criticism
• It seems funny to have this repeatedoh so this
  second part is like a summarythis just seems
  like a summaryits not necessary. I might just
  writeThe second section seemed like a summary of
  the previous information. (Hyland Hyland 2001
  204)

39
Miscommunication Example 2 (contd.)

• But when the student was interviewed about Joans
  comments, it was clear he had misunderstood what
  she wanted
• R Why did you change this part?
• K Because hereYour second section seemed like
  a summary. Because in my proposal, this includes
  two parts, so I think this is very necessary. At
  the end of part one I make, like Joan says, a
  summary. So also I have put in another summary
  in here.
• R Right so now you have two summaries at the
  end of each part?
• K Yes. (Hyland Hyland 2001 204)

40
Miscommunication Conclusions

• while teachers often have laudable
  interpersonal and pedagogic reasons for
  mitigating their feedback, tentative comments
  have the very real potential to cloud issues and
  create confusion. it seems that mitigated
  criticism was most opaque to students and a
  source of particular confusion, especially when
  it was phrased interrogatively and not coupled
  with an explicit suggestion for revision.
  Indirectness frequently seems to be
  counter-productive to the aim of clearly
  conveying the point the teacher wishes to make
  and is often reinterpreted by students according
  to their own writing concerns and agendas. In
  other cases, failure to understand implied
  criticisms or toned down praise leads the student
  to revise aspects of the text which are not
  problematic. (Hyland Hyland 2001 206)

41
Miscommunication Solutions

• In the light of Hyland Hylands finding that
  sugaring the pill often leaves students confused
  or uncertain what they need to do to improve
  their writing, is it best not to mitigate
  criticism at all?
• Has Hyland Hylands study changed your attitude
  to feedback? Why (not)?
• Should you sugar the pill less or more when
  dealing with lower level learners? Why?
• How should you deal with plagiarism? Is it
  necessary to be more direct? (This is not your
  own work. This is cheating.)

42
Helpful examples of feedback

• The following chapter by Ferris features several
  helpful examples of comments on student texts,
  and models and suggestions you could use
• Ferris, D.R. (2008) Feedback issues and options.
  In P. Friedrich (ed.), Teaching Academic Writing.
  London Continuum, pp.93-124.

43
Task

• One thing we havent done yet on this course is
  look at a range of ELT textbooks, to determine
  the approach they use to teach writing
• Id like you to begin looking at a selection of
  ELT textbook writing activities, speculating
  whether the materials writer favours product,
  process, post-processor a combination, or even
  none of these approaches! Finish looking at the
  material before next week.
• Next time well discuss the materials together

44
References

• Enginarlar H (1993) Student response to teacher
  feedback in EFL writing. System 21 193-204.
• Goldstein LM (2005) Teacher Written Commentary in
  Second Language Writing Classrooms. Ann Arbor
  University of Michigan Press.
• Hyland F Hyland K (2001) Sugaring the pill
  praise and criticism in written feedback. Journal
  of Second Language Writing 10 185-202.
• Radecki P Swales J (1988) ESL student reaction
  to written comments on their written work. System
  16 355-365.
• This weeks reading
• Casanave CP (2003) Looking ahead to more
  sociopolitically-oriented case study research in
  L2 writing scholarship (But should it be called
  post-process?) Journal of Second Language
  Writing 12 85-102.
• Ferris, D.R. (2008) Feedback issues and options.
  In P. Friedrich (ed.), Teaching Academic Writing.
  London Continuum, pp.93-124.