The Pineapple!

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The Pineapple!
Natures Porcupine
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The Pineapple!
Natures Porcupine (besides the actual
porcupine)
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Pineapple
Common Names Pineapple, Ananas, Nanas,
Pina. Latin Name Ananas comosus Family
Bromeliaceae Related Species Pina de Playon
(Ananas bracteatus).
At school they called me whine-crapple
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Types of Pineapple

• There are three primary types of pineapple
• Cayenne Pineapple 5-6 pounds, yellow flesh,
  high sugar and acid. Grown in Hawaii, this is
  the most prominent in the U.S. groceries, and has
  a single tuft of sword-likes leaves.
• Red Spanish 2-4 pounds, spiny leaves. Shorter
  and thicker with reddish skin and leaves
  radiating in several tufts
• Kona Sugarloaf 5-6 pounds, white flesh with no
  woodiness, high sugar but no acid. Sweet flavor
  and green skin. Grown in Mexico but rarely
  imported to U.S. because it doesnt ship well.

The acid content indicates our promiscuity.
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Pineapple Identification

• The Crown The long, pointed leaves at the top
  may be green or striped with red or yellow.
• The Exterior A tough waxy rind surrounds the
  fruit, forming a scaly pattern. This may be
  green, yellow, orange-yellow, or reddish when
  ripe.
• The Interior Full of segmented fruit ranging
  from white to yellow. Technically not a single
  fruit but a sorosis

My crown means Im the king of bedwetting!
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The Plant
Hah! Sucker!
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The Origin!

• Native to Central and South America, particularly
  Brazil and Paraguay, where the Guarani Indians
  cultivated them, calling them nana or
  excellent fruit
• Columbus discovered it on the island of
  Guadeloupe in 1493 and brought them back to
  Europe for Queen Isabella of Spain. His screw
  ate them to prevent scurvy.
• It may have been taken to Hawaii by the Spanish
  in the early 16th Century or by Captain Cook in
  1790.
• In the 1880s, steamships made the pineapple an
  industry in Hawaii, taking off in 1903 when Dole
  began canning them, making it the islands
  largest crop.

Those sailors had more than scurvy!
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Growing Conditions

• Sunny tropical regions best for growing.
• Soil with high organic content and pH between 4.5
  and 6.5.
• Mealybugs, nematodes, mites and beetles can be a
  threat to growth, as can frost.
• Nitrogen necessary to increase fruit size.
• Grown from crowns of other pineapples
• Hard to determine when ripe tested for sugar
  contest using the Brix Test
• Warm days and cool nights are best for carbon
  dioxide uptake in a process called Crassulacean
  acid metabolism, where stomates are open at night
  and closed during the day

The Brix test is the most painful experience Ive
ever endured.
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Selling and Buying!
Hawaii produces ten percent of the world's
pineapple crops. Other countries producing the
fruit include Mexico, Honduras, Dominican
Republic, Philippines, Thailand, Costa Rica,
China, and Asia. It is the third most canned
fruit and available year round. Workers pick the
pineapple and place it in a basket, where other
workers transfer it to a box with the crown up.
It must be kept dry during this process before
being shipped to grocery stores.
All of my relatives were murdered during the
truck ride.
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Pineapples Nutritional!

• Pineapples are loaded with Vitamin C! One
  serving contains 25 of the daily recommended
  amount.
• Each serving contains 60 calories.
• Pineapples contain a special enzyme called
  bromelain which helps the bodys digestive system.

With enough bromelain, you could digest an infant
in minutes.
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The Ripening Process
Deep green crown leaves are a sign of freshness.
Avoid dried out leaves, bruised fruit, or soft
spots. After cut store in a refridgerator.
BEST.
Stage 6 is too grotesque to depict in a classroom
setting.
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Girl Drinks!
The hollowed out pineapple can be made into a
girl drink
Yikes.
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Eat Pineapple, Dude!

• Try grilling pineapple slices for a tasty treat!
• Use pineapple juice as a marinade!
• Stacked Pineapple Upside-down Cake
• 1/4 cup butter or margarine, melted2/3 cup
  firmly packed brown sugar1 (20-ounce) can sliced
  pineapple, drained1/2 cup chopped pecans1
  (18.25-ounce) package yellow cake mix without
  puddingCaramel Frosting (recipe below)
• Combine butter and brown sugar spread evenly
  into 2 greased 9-inch round cakepans. Arrange
  pineapple slices, cherries, and pecans on top.
• Prepare cake mix according to directions. Pour
  batter into pans bake at 350 degrees F. for 30
  to 40 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in
  center comes out clean.
• Remove immediately from pans, and cool completely
  on wire racks.
• Stack layers, pineapple side up, on serving
  plate. Spread warm caramel frosting on sides of
  cake.
• Yield one 2-layer cake

Pineapple will never be a substitute for love.
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Rosie ODonnel admitted shes a lesbian!
Pineapple facts! provided by the folks at
where fruit and education merge to create
fruication

• Of all the New World discoveries of Columbus,
  pineapples were the fruits that caused the
  biggest stir back home.
• In a Caribbean rite of manhood, barefoot youths
  ran through pineapple plantings and were expected
  to bear the resulting wounds without protest.
• Caribbean Indians placed pineapples or pineapple
  crowns outside the entrances of their homes to
  symbolize friendship and hospitality.
• The Spanish explorers thought pineapples looked
  like pinecones, so they called them "Pina." The
  English added "apple" to associate it with juicy
  delectable fruits.