Choices in Relationships

1
Choices in Relationships

• Chapter Four Hanging Out,
• Pairing Off and Cohabitation

2
Functions of Hanging Out in the United States

• Confirmation of a Social Self
• Recreation
• Companionship/Intimacy/Sex

3
Functions of Hanging Out in the United States

• 4. Anticipatory Socialization
• 5. Status Achievement
• 6. Mate Selection

4
Meeting a New Partner

• While people often meet through friends or on
  their own through school, work, or recreation
  contexts, an increasing number are open to a
  range of alternatives such as personal ads in
  magazines or on the Internet.

5
Meeting a New Partner

• Personal Ads in Magazines and Newspapers
• Some magazines feature ads marketed to a
  particular group of singles.
• The InternetMeeting Online
• There are over two hundred Web sites designed for
  meeting a new partner.

6
Meeting a New Partner

• Video Chatting
• Video chatting moves beyond the traditional
  Internettyping of words to each other and
  allows the partners to see each other while
  chatting online.
• Video Dating Service
• This is an agency that interviews you on
  videotape and lets others watch your tape in
  exchange for your watching videotapes already on
  file.

7
Meeting a New Partner

• Innovations in DatingSpeed Dating
• Dating innovations that involve the concept of
  speed include the eight-minute minute date.

8
Should I Get Involved in a Long-Distance Dating
Relationship?

• Here are some issues to consider in making a
  long-distance dating relationship manageable and
  keeping the relationship together
• 1. Maintain daily contact.
• 2. Enjoy/use the time when apart.
• 3. Avoid conflictual phone conversations.
• 4. Stay monogamous.

9
Dating after Divorce

• Differences between the single-again population
  and those becoming involved for the first time
• Older population
• Fewer potential partners
• Increased HIV risk
• Children
• Ex-spouse issues
• Brief courtship

10
Cultural and Historical Background of Dating

• Traditional Chinese Dating Norms
• In traditional China, blind marriages, wherein
  the bride and groom were prevented from seeing
  each other for the first time until their wedding
  day, were the norm.
• Dating during the Puritan Era in the United
  States
• Bundling, also called tarrying, was a courtship
  custom commonly practiced among the Puritans.

11
Cultural and Historical Background of Dating

• Effects of the Industrial Revolution on Dating
• Commercial industries had developed to provide
  many services, and women transferred their
  activities in these areas from the home to the
  factory.
• The result was that women had more frequent
  contact with men.

12
Cultural and Historical Background of Dating

• Changes in Dating in the Last Fifty Years
• The changes include an increase in the age at
  marriage, which has been accompanied by each
  persons having a longer period of time during
  which he or she becomes involved with more
  people.

13
Cohabitation

• Cohabitation, also known as living together, is
  becoming a normative life experience , with
  almost 60 percent of U.S. women who married in
  the 1990s reporting that they had cohabited
  before marriage.

14
Cohabitation
15
Cohabitation
Eight Types of Cohabitation Relationships

• Here and Now
• Testers
• Engaged
• Money Savers

• 5. Pension partners
• Security blanket cohabiters
• Rebellious cohabiters
• 8. Marriage never

16
Cohabitation

• Social Policy Domestic Partnerships
• Domestic partnerships refer to two adults who
  have chosen to share each others lives in an
  intimate and committed relationship of mutual
  caring.
• California leads the way in domestic partner
  benefits, with the law providing rights and
  responsibilities in areas as varied as child
  custody, legal claims, housing protections,
  bereavement leave, and state government benefits.

17
Cohabitation
Consequences of Cohabitation

• Advantages
• Sense of well-being
• Delayed marriage
• Learning about self and partner

• Disadvantages
• Feeling used or tricked
• Problems with parents
• Economic disadvantages
• Effects on children

18
Cohabitation

• Legal Aspects of Living Together
• Common-Law Marriage
• Palimony
• Child Support
• Child Inheritance

19
Ending an Unsatisfactory Relationship
20
Ending an Unsatisfactory Relationship

• Considerations in Ending a Relationship
• Is there any desire/hope to revive and improve
  the relationship?
• Acknowledge and accept that terminating a
  relationship may be painful for both partners.
• Blame yourself for the end.

21
Ending an Unsatisfactory Relationship

• Considerations in Ending a Relationship
• 4. Cut off the relationship completely.
• 5. Learn from the terminated relationship.
• 6. Allow time to grieve over the end of the
  relationship.