Circles of Friends

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Circles of Friends
A North Carolina Person-Centered Planning
Training, as developed by Community Integration
Training Inc., and funded by the Developmental
Disabilities Section, NC Division of Mental
Health, Developmental Disabilities and Substance
Abuse Services
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EXERCISEThe year you graduated High School
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What is the definition of Community?
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EXERCISE

• Participants complete exercise
• What does community look like to you?

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Each persons picture of community looks different
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Disenfranchisement

• A process by which a person is isolated from
  their neighborhood or community

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Disenfranchisement

• Generally occurs because
• There are physical barriers to accessing ones
  community
• Poverty (robs people of power)
• The community has prejudice or does not
  understand a person or population and thusly
  ignores or shuns them

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What is a Circle of Friends?

• A Circle of Friends is a group of people who
  meet regularly to help a person with a disability
  realize a dream or reach a life goal

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What is a Circle of Friends?

• Circles of Friends are based on the belief that
  the community is a place where everyone belongs.
  Circles are a way to organize the resources of
  the community to support a person

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• The members of a Circle of Friends are the
  people who are the most important to the person
  they form around. This could be family, friends,
  co-workers, neighbors, fellow church members and
  people who are paid to support the individual.
  The circle is formed when the person with a
  disability invites people to come together

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Circles dont just happen
they must be built!
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What DO Circles DO?

• Bring ideas to the Circle
• Bring their connections to community to the
  circle
• Create a vision for the future for the person
  around whom the circle forms
• Spend time together
• Strengthen families

• Build relationships and friendships
• Work together
• Play together
• Celebrate birthdays

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What DO Circles DO?

• Plan weddings
• Volunteer together
• Learn to think differently about community life
• Worship together
• Go to a ball game
• Help with the hard things
• Go out for dinner
• Find and train pets

• Help find houses and apartments
• Plan vacations
• Safeguard
• Find room mates

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ABSOLUTES!

• A circle is
• For anyone with a disability
• Based on the individuals dreams and visions
• Connected to the community

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For anyone with a disability

• Adults
• Children
• People with multiple disabilities
• People coming out of institutions

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based on Dreams and Visions

• Because
• People with disabilities have dreams just like
  everyone else

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A Circle Building Process IS

• About capacity
• A hope for something better with more options and
  possibilities
• Person centered
• Shared roles within circles
• Building gift/ connections of people to make
  things happen

• A network of people consisting of friends,
  families, neighbors, and those who know the
  person

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A Circle Building Process IS

• All members are equal, contributing members to
  the circle
• Interdependent
• Role is about facilitation,
• enabling, empowering
• Flexible
• Bound up in relationships

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A Circle Building Process IS NOT

• About deficiency
• An answer to the service system
• Control of individuals
• Service centered
• Not singular control
• About relying on one overworked manager
• Dependent

• People who have never been seen or are part of
  the persons life - but on paper only
• About titles, power or position
• About group control
• Rigid
• Bound in a paper process

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Building a Circle is like planning a trip!
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You MUST have a MAP!
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EXERCISEWhat is a Map?
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What is a MAP?

• Questions
• to ask
• What does it tell?
• Why do we use it?

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A MAP is a person-centered planning process that
asks

• What is a persons history?
• What are their dreams?
• What are their nightmares?
• Who is this person?
• What are their strengths, gifts talents?
• What do they need?
• What is the plan of action?

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MAPS

• What is a MAP?
• History
• Dreams
• Nightmares
• Who is this person
• Gifts
• Needs
• Action Plan

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Developing a MAP

• There is a reason that the MAPS process is in
  the order it is.
• FOLLOW IT!

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What is the facilitators role in the MAPS
process?

• Ask the MAPS questions
• Make sure the Focus person is comfortable with
  what is being talked about and written down
• Ask questions in several ways to make sure the
  Circle understands the questions
• Help members of the Circle to discuss and answer
  questions

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What is the facilitators role in the MAPS
process?

• Make sure the answers to the questions are
  written down
• Make sure everyone has the opportunity to
  contribute to the Circle process
• Help the Circle create solutions to problems,
  barriers, and roadblocks

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EXERCISE

• The focal consultant now tells his/her story
• Participants will begin the Circle process

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HistoryAllows for stories to be heard

• Beginnings of empowerment process for the
  participant-veto power, asking what do you want
  us to know about you and your life
• Puts people on common ground with each other
• Starts out the process with humor and kindness

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HistoryQuestions to Ask

• Tell us what you think is important about
  yourself/your family member
• Tell us a quick story about how you know _______

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HistoryAvoiding the Roadblocks

• Circle Roadblocks can happen if
• The history section is skipped
• The discussion focuses on the persons diagnosis
  rather than the history
• Much of the discussion is about what the person
  cannot do
• Discussion is about what is wrong with the
  person or their life

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History Tips!

• Make sure the Circle discussion is about the
  focal persons experiences
• where the person grew up
• what schools are (were) attended
• how people know the focal person
• basic information about the focal persons life

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Dreams

• Visioning begins
• Builds energy
• Common ground is being developed on why you are
  there
• Group goals are being defined around one persons
  life
• Person can get a life/self-determination begins

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DreamsQuestions to Ask

• If your life was just as you wanted it, what
  would it be like?
• Where would live, work, what would you do all day?

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DreamsAvoiding the Roadblocks

• Circle Roadblocks can happen if
• The dream section is skipped
• The focal person is not given enough time to
  think about his/her dreams
• The dreams that are put into the MAP have not
  been affirmed by the focal person
• Circle members are talking about dreams for the
  focal person without checking with him/her

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Dreams Tip!

• Make sure that the dreams suggested by circle
  members are dreams shared by the focal person
• Help the focal person and the Circle understand
  what the dream looks and feels like (for example,
  finding out why the focal person wants to be a
  pediatrician)

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Nightmares

• Important because it allows the group to talk
  about possible barriers or problems that could
  get in the way of dreams
• The Circle can work to avoid the barriers

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NightmaresQuestions to Ask

• What are some things that could get in the way of
  you obtaining your dreams?
• What are/is the worst thing that could happen to
  you?
• What are some things that could keep you from
  getting your dreams?
• What are you (and the Circle) most afraid of?

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NightmaresAvoiding the Roadblocks

• Circle Roadblocks can happen if
• The nightmares section is skipped
• The focal person does not understand that the
  reason for doing this section is to make sure the
  bad stuff does not happen
• Parents and concerned persons are not allowed to
  voice their fears
• This section turns into a negative,
  finger-pointing experience for the focal person

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Nightmares Tips

• Spend the time necessary to make sure the focal
  person and circle members understand the
  importance of expressing nightmares

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Nightmares Tip

• Clearly explain that the purpose of naming
  nightmares is to keep them from happening
• Make sure the circle meeting is a safe place for
  people to name their fears and everyones fears
  and nightmares are respected

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Who is This Person?

• This part of the MAP allows the group to begin to
  focus on what the person does well and what is
  hard for the person
• It also allows the Circle membership to obtain
  information that may be helpful to them if they
  are spending time with the person in the
  community. (he gets tired at 900 p.m. and
  wants to go to bed)

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Who is This Person?

• Questions to ask
• How would you describe yourself to us?
• Who is _______?
• What do you do well?
• What is hard for you?

• This section is empowering to the focal person
  because it allows the person to tell others what
  they are all about as a person

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EXERCISE

• Participants now complete the Morning
  Rituals/What Makes Sense Exercise

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Who is This Person? Avoiding the Roadblocks

• Circle Roadblocks can happen if
• The who is this person section is skipped
• The members of the Circle begin to tell tales
  about what is wrong with the focal person

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Who is This Person? - Tip

• Help the Circle keep answers to Who is this
  person?, descriptive and non-judgmental
• Joe is a night person and does not enjoy getting
  up at 600 a.m. as opposed to Joe can not work
  because he wont get up in the morning!

• When the Circle is mostly focusing on what the
  person does well, you are ready to move on to the
  Gifts section of the MAP

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GiftsQuestions to Ask

• _______ what gifts, strengths, and/or talents do
  you bring to the world?
• _______ what do you like about yourself?
• Ask all Circle members what gifts do you get by
  knowing _______?

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Gifts Avoiding the Roadblocks

• Circle Roadblocks can happen if
• The gifts section is skipped
• Not enough time is taken for everyone to get
  involved in the discussion about the many gifts
  received from the focal person
• The gift statements are not recorded

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Gifts Tip

• Start this section by asking the focal member to
  identify what they do well or what special
  talents they bring to the world
• Have each Circle member make a statement about
  what gift they receive from knowing the focal
  person

• Record each response made about gifts and make
  sure the focal person understands the positive
  things that people are sharing
• CELEBRATE!

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Needs

• These items should be listed
• The facilitator should ask which need is most
  important to the person and his/her family

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NeedsQuestions to Ask

• ______ considering your dreams, your nightmares,
  your gifts and talents, what do you need?
• Propose the same question to the Circle
  (considering the dreams, nightmares, gifts and
  talents of the person)

BE SURE TO FOCUS ON THE DESIRES OF
THE PERSON!
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NeedsAvoiding the Roadblocks

• Circle Roadblocks can happen if
• The needs section is skipped
• The Circle spends time trying to resolve each
  need rather than just state them
• The needs list is not recorded
• The needs are not prioritized according to the
  focal persons wishes

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Needs Tip

• Before beginning the discussion briefly summarize
  the other sections of the MAP, drawing attention
  to the dreams, nightmares, gifts and answers to
  Who is this Person?
• Remember to help the Circle focus on making a
  LIST of needs (dont solve them)

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Action PlanPart A - Brainstorming

• The Circle now has a common mission, knowledge of
  the focal person and each other

• This brings the resources of each person to the
  Circle, allowing them to give ideas or help as
  much as they feel they can

• Brainstorm only to begin

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Action PlanPart B After Brainstorming

• How can we help _____ get _____ (the need)?
• When it is decided how the Circle can help the
  focal person get the need they must decide how
  and who will help accomplish this

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Action PlanningAvoiding the Roadblocks

• Circle Roadblocks can happen if
• The Circle quits meeting before completing the
  action planning section
• New members of the Circle are not shown the
  previous MAP sections before assisting with
  action planning
• One member of the Circle is volunteering to do
  too many of the action items
• Circle members feel that the Circle is judgmental
  if an action item cannot be completed

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Action Planning Tip

• Review and celebrate accomplishments at each
  Circle meeting
• Make sure the Circle knows that the action plan
  is a work in progress and is changeable

• If a Circle member does not complete an action
  item, help the Circle use it as feedback, not
  failure

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EXERCISE

• Using the Circle information to complete the NC
  Plan

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Communication Conflict Resolution

• Five Step Problem Solver
• Define the problem
• Summarize all causes and prioritize the root
  causes
• Identify all solutions and prioritize them
• Analyze the potential solution with the Circle
• Select the best solution and act on it

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Communication Conflict Resolution

• In undertaking problem resolution, follow these
  Guidelines
• Refrain from criticizing
• When meeting with conflicting parties, only allow
  one person to speak at a time, reminding the
  others to listen
• Encourage brainstorming and many ideas
• Identify ideas that point toward solutions
• Always seek mutual encouragement and understanding

When a resolution cannot be reached, seek a
mediator
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EXERCISEWorking with Conflict
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The person in the middle is you. Print your name
on the line. On the circles print the initials
of the following people
Inner Circle Those closest to you family and
intimate friends
Second Circle Good Friends People who you like
to do things with regularly

• Third Circle People you enjoy being with
  occasionally (bowling league, special interest
  club)
• Fourth Circle People who are paid to interact
  with you (teacher, doctor, aerobics instructor)

Developed by Marsha Forest, Jack Pearpoint,
John OBrien and Judith Snow at McGill
University, Montreal, Quebec in the late 1980s
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Typical Circle for a child or an adult who has
disabilities

• Many people on both the inside and outside
  circles
• Few people on the circles in between

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We have only begun to sense the tragic wounds
some people with disabilities feel when it dawns
on them that the ONLY people relating to them
outside of relatives are paid to do so.

• First Circle Intimacy
• Second Circle Friendship
• Third Circle Participation
• Fourth Circle Exchange

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EXERCISEHow do you invite people to the Circle?
(optional)
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Neighborhood Needs Map

• From Kretzmann, J. P. McKnight, J. L. (1993)
  Building community from the inside out A path
  toward finding and mobilizing a communitys
  assets. ATCA Publications Chicago.

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Community Assets Map
From Kretzmann, J. P. McKnight, J. L. (1993)
Building community from the inside out A path
toward finding and mobilizing a communitys
assets. ATCA Publications Chicago.
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Community Development Strategies

• You must start with what is PRESENT in the
  community
• capacities of the residents and workers
• associational base of the area

• DO NOT start with what is NOT present or what
  the problems are

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Community Development Strategies

• In many ways, community development is
  relationship driven. Work on networking, using
  gifts of the community, pull others into the
  process

• BE CREATIVE! Often resources DO exist in our
  communities if we will step out of the box
• Ask existing institutions, associations,
  organizations to help assist in resolving the
  need or problem

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Places to Find Resources

• Senior Centers and Senior Citizen Groups
• Local Artists
• Youth and Youth Groups
• Churches
• Civic Clubs
• Theme Clubs
• Coffeehouse groups, museum societies, movie goers

• Colleges and Universities
• Sororities, fraternities, specific classes,
  interns
• Local Businesses and Banks

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EXERCISETrip to Nebraska
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The Circle MeetingHow to make it good

• At the end of each meeting make sure to schedule
  the next meeting decide on place, time, food
• Invite people at least two weeks before the
  meeting (call to remind them if possible)
• Review agenda with focal person

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The Circle MeetingHow to make it good

• Make sure you have an agenda
• As a facilitator, keep the discussion going do
  not control it or make decisions
• Believe in the process and relax
• Have fun and celebrate success!!!

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So, Whats Next

• Always plan to meet again
• Meet where and when convenient for everyone
• Send reminders of the next meetings
• What has happened since we last met?
• What do we need to work on?
• Keep recording

• Invite new friends into the circle
• Keep exploring options
• Revisit the MAPS
• Avoid shoulds
• Eat Socialize
• Create comfort for everyone
• Parties celebrations
• Find ways to share time
• Work together

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Being A Midwife
The wise leader does not intervene unnecessarily.
The leaders presence is felt, but often the
group runs itself. Lesser leaders do a lot, say
a lot, have followers, and form cults. Even
worse ones use fear to energize the group and
force to overcome resistance. Only the most
dreadful leaders have bad reputations. Remember
that you are facilitating another persons
process. It is not your process. Do not
intrude. Do not control. Do not force your own
needs and insights into the foreground. If you
do not trust a persons process, that person will
not trust you. Imagine that you are a midwife
you are assisting at someone elses birth. Do
good without show or fuss. Facilitate what is
happening rather than what you think ought to be
happening. If you must take the lead, lead so
that the mother is helped, yet still free and in
charge. When the baby is born, the mother will
rightly say We did it ourselves from
The Tao of Leadership by John Heider
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Our CelebrationPinning Ceremony
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A Message from Self-Advocates

• Weve Upped Our Expectations

SO UP YOURS!
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• For additional information
• Developmental Disabilities Training Institute
• Chris Egan - [phone]
• www.unc.edu.depts/ddti