Descriptive Writing

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Descriptive Writing
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The most important rule of descriptive writing

• Showdont tell

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Examples of Showing

• Instead of telling, We played in the snow, this
  student showed
• We built igloos, snow tunnels, and
• snowmen till we collapsed.

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• Instead of telling, The resort was luxurious,
  this student showed
• We resided for a week in an all-inclusive resort
  that had every luxury imaginable body massages
  at the beach, late night parties laced with every
  sort of exotic drink known to man, even an
  on-sight jeweler available to any vacationer who
  wished to buy a diamond ring or bracelet for, of
  course, a hefty price.

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How to Show"

1. Create images.
2. Use active verbs.
3. Use concrete nouns.
4. Include figures of speech
5. Add dialogue.

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Rule 1--Create Images

• Create word pictures by including
• Sight
• Sound
• Touch
• Taste
• Smell

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Example of Imagery

• Our brains were scrambled from the
• heat and our minds were going mad
• from the squeaking of the wheel from
• the golf caddie. Squuueeeeaaaak!
• Squeak! Squeak!
• When will it shut up, I shouted as I
• kicked the wheel.

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Example of Imagery

• I watched the small Shiba Inu run in delight with
  his new owners. He frolicked with such happiness
  and energy. Little ears flapping in the wind,
  Tucker gave his new human companion an
  affectionate lick on the hand.

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Example of Imagery

• As we began to cross one of many cold,
  frozen-over bridges, we began to slide. A gust
  of wind slammed into our sailboat of a car. My
  dad quickly corrected the car into the intended
  path. Then disaster struck. Another gust sent
  us into a severe slide. As we were sliding
  sideways off the road, I looked into our vans
  new intended path. We were heading right for a
  Jeep that had slid off the road earlier. Right
  as we were about to hit the Jeep, our van
  suddenly took flight. We went right over the
  hood of the Jeep (missing it by about a foot) and
  began to roll. Once, twice, three times before
  we came to a stop.

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Rule 2--Use action verbs that create movement.

• Improve these verbs
• Mike was in his chair during math class.
• The Ford Taurus went down Elm Street.
• Tony left the room.
• I said, No.
• Thunder was heard.
• The petulant child made noise.

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Rule 3--Use concrete nouns.
Abstract nouns car man tree author noise animal pain emotion Concrete nouns Ford Taurus George W. Bush aspen Toni Morrison murmur raccoon migraine rage
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Rule 4--Use figures of speech

• What are figures of speech?
• Similes
• Metaphors
• Personification
• Avoid clichés, though.

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Example of personification and metaphor

• A passion so strong wanted to leap out, but the
  prison of being a man had no room for crying,
  just anger.

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Practice

• Create an original simile for each of the
  following. Avoid clichés!
• Small as
• Good as
• Poor as
• Red as
• Dead as
• Soft as
• Brown as
• Brave as

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Rule 5--Add dialogue

• Example from a student essay
• I am going to Arapahoe High School this
• year.
• Dude Brad uttered. A long pause
• followed. Youre abandoning me! he
• sputtered. What am I going to do at
• football practice this season? Who am I
• going to share a locker with? Who will I
• have to hang out with? Are you serious?

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Assignment To show that you understand how to
show, not tell, rewrite the following sentences.
Change the underlined portion of each sentence by
creating vivid imagery.

1. Her dress was interesting.
2. The child looked tired and unhappy.
3. Mark drove a used car.
4. My bedroom was a mess.
5. When the sun came out, the sky was a beautiful
   sight.
6. Dinner was very good I liked it.
7. An old lecturer talked to the big group.