INGREDIENTS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

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INGREDIENTS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

• Al-Ansar Islamic Movement of Minnesota
• Archive 2013

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TAQWA
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Allaah says Marry those among you who are
single or the virtuous ones among your slaves
male or female if they are in poverty Allah will
give them means out of His grace for Allah
encompasses all and He knows all things. (Q24
32) Allaah says O mankind! Have fear of your
Rabb, the One who created you from a single soul,
from that soul He created its mate, and through
them He spread countless men and women. Fear
Allah, the One in whose name you demand your
rights from one another and the ties of
relationship surely Allah is watching you very
closely. (Q4 1)
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Allah's Messenger (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam)
said"If someone with whose piety and character
you are satisfied with comes to you, marry to
him. If you do not do so, there will be trials in
the earth and a great deal of evil."
(Tirmidhi)The Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa
sallam) said, Happiness has four elements a
good wife, a spacious house, a good neighbour,
and a comfortable riding beast. (Ibn Hibban) 
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The Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) said
The likeness of a house in which Allaah is
remembered and the house in which Allaah is not
remembered is that of the living and the dead,
respectively. The Prophet (sallalahu alayhi
wa sallam) said May Allaah have mercy on a man
who gets up at night and prays, then he wakes up
his wife to pray, and if she refuses he throws
water in her face. (Ahmad).
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IKHLAS (SINCERITY)
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Allaah says Yet they were commanded nothing but
to worship Allah, with their sincere devotion to
Him, being True in their faith to establish
Salah (prayers) and to pay Zakah (poor due) and
that is the infallible true Religion. (Q98
5) Allah's Messenger (sallalahu alayhi wa
sallam) said There are three things on account
of which no rancour enters a Muslim heart the
sincerity of purpose for Allah's sake, seeking
goodness for the Muslims and adhering to their
main body (jama'ah), for their prayers encompass
them all round. (Tirmidhi)
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LOVE KINDNESS
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Allaah says And of His signs, another one is
that He created for you mates from among
yourselves that you may find comfort with them,
and He planted love and kindness in your hearts
surely there are signs in this for those who
think about it. (Q30 21) The Prophet
(sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) said The best of
the actions is to love for the sake of Allah and
to hate for the sake of Allah. (Abu Dawud)
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Aaishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said
The Messenger of Allaah (sallalahu alayhi wa
sallam) said When Allaah may He be glorified
wills some good towards the people of a
household, He introduces kindness among them.
(Ahmad).  Narrated Abu Huraira Allah's
Messenger (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) kissed
Al-Hasan bin Ali while Al-Aqra' bin Habis
At-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, "I
have ten children and I have never kissed anyone
of them." Allah's Messenger (sallalahu alayhi wa
sallam) cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is
not merciful to others will not be treated
mercifully." (Bukhari)
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MUTUAL RESPECTOBEDIENCE
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Allaah says Men are overseers over women
because Allah has given the one more strength
than other, and because men are required to spend
their wealth for the maintenance of women.
Honorable women are, therefore, devoutly obedient
and guard in the husband's absence what Allah
require them to guard their husband's property
and their own honor. As to those women from whom
you fear disobedience, first admonish them, then
refuse to share your bed with them, and then, if
necessary, beat them. Then if they obey you, take
no further actions against them and do not make
excuses to punish them. Allah is Supremely Great
and is aware of your actions. (Q4 34)
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Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, "When
a woman observes the five daily prayers, fasts
during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys
her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of
Paradise she wishes." (Tirmidhi) Allah's
Messenger (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) said,
The best of you is he who is best to his family,
and I am the best among you to my family. (Ibn
Majah)
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RESOLUTION OF
PROBLEMS
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Allaah says If a wife fears cruelty or
desertion on her husband's part there is no blame
on them if they arrange an amicable settlement
between themselves and such settlement is best
even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But
if you do good and practice self-restraint Allah
is well-acquainted with all that you do. (Q4
128) Allah 's Messenger (sallalahu alayhi wa
sallam) said, "Treat women nicely, for a women is
created from a rib, and the most curved portion
of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you
should try to straighten it, it will break, but
if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked.
So treat women nicely." (Bukhari)
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MIND YOUR LANGUAGE
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Allah's Messenger (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam)
said, O Aisha! Do not be obscene. Indeed, Allah
does not love a vile person who relishes
obscenity (Bukhari and Muslim) Aisha
reported, Allah's Messenger (sallalahu alayhi
wa sallam) was not obscene, nor did he relish
obscenity, nor was he loud in the markets. He did
not punish for any (personal) harm, but forgave
and pardoned. (Tirmidhi)
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AVOID OPPRESSION
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Aaishah (may Allaah be pleased with her), when
she was asked about what the Messenger of Allaah
(sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) used to do in his
house her response described what she herself
had seen. According to another report, she said
He was like any other human being he would
clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve
himself. (Ahmad).
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A GOOD HOME
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There are three elements of happiness and three
elements of misery. The elements of happiness
are a righteous wife, who when you see her she
pleases you, and when you are absent from her you
feel that you can trust her with regard to
herself and your wealth a compliant riding-beast
that helps you to keep up with your companions
and a house that is spacious and has plenty of
amenities. The elements of misery are a wife who
when you see her you feel upset, she keeps
attacking you verbally, and when you are absent
from her you do not feel that you can trust her
with regard to herself and your wealth a
stubborn riding-beast that if whip it, you get
tired, and if you do not whip it, it does not
help you to keep up with your companions and a
house with few amenities. (Haakim).  
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The prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) said,
Allaah is good and likes goodness, clean and
likes cleanliness, generous and likes generosity,
hospitable and likes hospitability so clean your
courtyards and do the opposite of what the Jews
do. (Tirmidhi)
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DISCIPLINE
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Aaishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said
If the Messenger of Allaah (sallalahu alayhi wa
sallam) came to know that one of his household
had told a lie, he would try to ignore him until
he repented. (Ahmad) The Prophet (sallalahu
alayhi wa sallam) said Hang up the whip where
the members of the household can see it, for this
is more effective in disciplining them.
(Tabaraani)
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Be Attractive In All Ways
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Narrated Jabir (RA), we were along with the
Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) on an
expedition. When we arrived at al-Madina and were
about to enter, the Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa
sallam) said Wait, so that you may enter by
night ( i.e. in the evening) in order that the
woman with disheveled hair may comb it and the
woman whose husband has been away may shave her
private hairs (getting ready for her husband).
Agreed upon
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The Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) said
You are going to meet some brothers of yours, so
reform your saddles, and be well dressed until
you become a shining star in the sight of the
other people because Allaah dislikes vice and
viciousness. (Abu Dawud) Narrated ibn Abbas
(RA) A man came to the Prophet (sallalahu
alayhi wa sallam) and said, My wife rejects no
hand of a man who wishes to touch her. He
(sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) said, Divorce
her. He replied, I cannot endure the crave for
her. He (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) said,
Then keep her. (An-Nasai)