Communication and Self-Discovery

1
Communication and Self-Discovery
New Directors WorkshopSeminars on Academic
ComputingAugust 5, 2006

• Bruce M. Taggart
• with thanks to Jenny Cobb (AxysPointe)
• Jeannie Zappe, Carrie Regenstein, Barry Walsh
• (EDUCAUSE Institute)

2
How well use our time today

• Effective communication
• Group Exercise Your Communication Behavioral
  Style
• Behavioral styles defined
• Style flex
• Group Exercise Communicating with other styles
• Active listening

3
So, communication is

• Understanding between and among people
• An interdependent process
• Not necessarily agreement
• Constant. You cannot NOT communicate. We
  constantly communicate, and we constantly receive
  communication from others.

4
Communication in all its channels
5
Basic principles of communication

• A basic principle of communication in general
• People are not mind readers
• People judge you by your behavior, not your
  intent
• A Russian proverb says, Once a word goes out of
  your mouth, you can never swallow it again.

6
How we communicate

• What people can see
• What people hear
• What we actually say
• Communication is in the mind of the recipient
  Youre just making noise if the other person
  doesnt hear you.

7
To be an effective communicator

• Understand how communication occurs
• Understand your own communication behavior style
• Learn to diagnose the communication needs of
  others
• Develop listening skills
• Communicate with others in a way that is
  sensitive to and aware of their needs

8
Wouldnt it be great if you could

• Understand how your preferred style of working
  comes across to other people
• Read other peoples behavior so youll know the
  best way to work with them
• Find common ground with people while maintaining
  your individuality and integrity
• Adjust your behavior in small ways that
  dramatically improve results among different
  styles
• Relate effectivelyno matter how others react to
  you

Source People Styles at Work Making
Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships
Better Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton
9
What communication style are you?

• Exercise
• Communication Behavioral Styles Inventory

10
Communications Styles Grid
Less Emotional
Analytical
Driver
More Assertive
Less Assertive
Amiable
Expressive
More Emotional
11
Analyticals

• Tendency towards perfectionism
• Deal with facts, data, logic, details
• Sometimes slow to make decisions
• May appear overly cautious and not good
  risk-takers
• Decisions and information provided are usually
  accurate and thoughtful
• Feelings and emotions kept inside

12
Amiables

• Warm and fuzzies
• People and friendship are very important
• Like to get others involved in activities
• Good at juggling multiple tasks
• Concerned about feelings of others
• Less inclined to speak their mind openly
• Can get hurt feelings or be offended easily

13
Drivers

• Strong, decisive, and results-oriented
• Provide strong guidance for others
• May appear pushy at times
• Demanding of themselves and others
• Highly self-critical
• Resent those who waste time with idle chit-chat

14
Expressives

• Party people
• Love to have a good time
• Highly creative and enthusiastic
• Operate primarily by intuition
• Little tolerance for those who are not expressive
• Easily bored
• Difficult to keep on task
• Easily distracted

15
Toxic relationships

• Natural tensions occur between individuals whose
  orientations are dramatically different from one
  another
• Analytical Expressive
• Driver Amiable
• Driver Expressive

16

• The difference between the right word and the
  almost right word is the difference between
  lighting and the lightning bug.
• Mark Twain

17
Style flex

• Versatility is the ability to communicate with
  someone else based upon the other persons
  comfort zone, the way in which the other person
  wants to communicate.
• Style flex involves tailoring your behavior so
  the way you work fits better with the other
  persons stylelike a baseball player swinging at
  different pitches
• Style flex is a temporary adjustment of a few
  behaviors at key times.

Source People Styles at Work Making
Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships
Better Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton
18
Style flex

• Style flex is not about conforming to the other
  persons point of view giving up your goals or
  withholding your opinions changing the other
  person its about changing yourself
• The primary leverage you have for improving a
  relationship is your own behavior

Source People Styles at Work Making
Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships
Better Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton
19
Communications Style Grid
Less Emotional
Driver
Analytical
More Assertive
Less Assertive
Amiable
Expressive
More Emotional
20
To communicate with Analyticals

• DO
• Prepare in advance
• Be accurate
• Be direct
• List pros and cons
• Present specifics
• Be persistent
• Use timetables for actions
• Provide tangible, practical evidence

• DONT
• Be disorganized or messy
• Be casual, informal, or loud
• Rush decision-making
• Fail to follow through
• Waste time
• Leave things to chance
• Threaten or cajole
• Use opinions as evidence
• Be manipulative

21
To communicate with Amiables

• DO
• Start with a personal comment
• Show sincere interest in them as people
• Listen and be responsive quickly
• Be casual and non-threatening
• Ask how questions
• Provide assurances

• DONT
• Rush into business
• Decide for them
• Stick to business constantly
• Force them to respond
• Be demanding
• Debate facts and figures
• Be abrupt
• Be patronizing

22
To communicate with Drivers

• DO
• Be specific and brief
• Stick to business
• Be prepared
• Present facts clearly
• Ask what questions
• Provide alternative solutions
• Take issue with facts

• DONT
• Ramble or waste time
• Be disorganized or messy
• Leave loopholes or be unclear
• As rhetorical questions
• Make decisions for them
• Speculate
• Be directive

23
To communicate with Expressives

• DO
• Be fast-moving, entertaining
• Leave time for socializing
• Talk about their goals
• Deal with the big picture
• Ask for their opinions ideas
• Provide examples from people they believe are
  important
• Offer incentives or rewards

• DONT
• Legislate
• Be cold, aloof, or tight-lipped
• Press for solutions
• Deal with details
• Be dogmatic
• Talk down to them

24

• Exercise
• Communicating with the Registrar

Source Personal Styles Effective Performance,
Make your Style Work For You. David W. Merrill
and Roger H. Reid.
25
Effective communication techniques

• Use feedback
• Use multiple (appropriate) channels
• Email, phone, one-on-one?
• Amount of information and timing?
• Be sensitive to the receiver
• Be aware of symbolic meanings
• Use simple language
• Use repetition

Source How To Speak and Listen
Effectively Harvey A. Robbins
26
Three levels of listening

• Listening in spurts
• Hearing words, but not really listening
• Empathetic listening
• You cannot truly listen to anyone and do
  anything else at the same time.
• M. Scott Peck

27
Active listening

• Reduce physical barriers
• Minimize distractions avoid or limit
  interruptions
• Control your emotions
• Evaluate the message allow silence
• Detect the central idea
• Be aware of your posture and nonverbal behavior
• Ask probing and occasional questions
• Acknowledge and respond using paraphrasing,
  perception, checking and summarizing

28
Philosophy of a good communicator

• Assume 100 of the responsibility for
  understanding what the other person means.
• Assume 100 of the responsibility for making sure
  that the person you are communicating with
  understands you.

29
Questions?
30
Resources

• The Heart of Change Real-life Stories of How
  People Change Their Organizations. John P. Kotter
  and Dan S. Cohen (Boston, Mass Harvard Business
  School Press, 2002)
• Managing Transitions Making the Most of Change.
  William Bridges. 2nd edition. (Cambridge, Mass
  Da Capo Press, 2003)
• Breaking Out of the IT Silo The Integration
  Maturity Model. Mark R. Nelson. (Boulder,
  Colorado EDUCAUSE Center for Applied Research,
  March 15, 2005).
• Cultivating Careers Professional Development for
  Campus IT. Cynthia Golden. (Boulder, Colorado
  EDUCAUSE, 2006).