Conflict Management

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Conflict Management

• KSF Communication - Level 3 or 4
• accomplice.uk.com

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Welcome
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Aim

• To increase our ability to recognise and
  positively deal with conflict situations

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Programme

• Welcome
• Aim and Programme
• Recap (Team to advise on progress since last
  event)
• Conflict Definition Symptoms and Causes
• Natural Styles in Conflict Situations
• Dealing with Conflict Best Practice
• Review Evaluation

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Your Personal Objective
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Recap

• Feedback on Team Actions
• Since the Team Time Out

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What is conflict?
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Programme

• Welcome
• Aim and Programme
• Recap (Team to advise on progress since last
  event)
• Conflict Definition Symptoms and Causes
• Natural Styles in Conflict Situations
• Dealing with Conflict Best Practice
• Review Evaluation

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Conflict

• A competition among parties to change or maintain
  their relative positions of power and resources
  with respect to one or more issues.
• Judy Bradt

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Being able to work with others is one of the most
sought after skills

• Being able to relate to colleagues is essential
  for everyone
• KSF Communication - Level 3 or 4

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Symptoms of Conflict

• How would you recognise conflict?

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Symptoms of Conflict 1

• Ideas or suggestions attacked before a fair
  hearing (including facilitators)
• Comments made with vehemence
• Subtle attacks at a personal level
• Accusations you dont understand x, y, z
• Contributions are ignored or talked over
• Selective hearing (distortion) of anothers views

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Symptoms of Conflict 2

• Selective hearing (distortion) of anothers views
• Atmospheres of impatience, discomfort
• Body language aggressive, avoidance, withdrawal
• People state the group
• is too large, small, wrong people
• Doesnt have the right expertise, authority to
  achieve its task
• People take sides and refuse to move from their
  positions

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Causes of Conflict
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Case Study

• Reflect on scenario (s) in which there has been
  or is conflict
• Who is in conflict and why?
• What is causing the conflict?

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Sources of Conflict

• In the conflict scenario you describe,
• what caused the conflict to happen?
• What other things cause conflict?

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Sources of Conflict 1

• Difficult or impossible task
• Powerless to make or influence decisions
• Inadequate problem-solving methods and tools
• Inadequate decision-making methods

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Sources of Conflict 2

• Power or status issues within the group that have
  not been resolved
• Outside interests conflict with the groups
• Apathy created by a few members
• Personality differences

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Maslovs Hierarchy of Needs
A.H. Maslov, A Theory of Human Motivation,
Psychological Review 50 (1943)370-96.
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Cause of Conflict

• Conflict is based around two independent
  variables
• Conflict styles (and a road map) comes from
  knowing how assertive or cooperative a
  person/group is
• The inventory assesses five dimensions of
  behaviour

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"Don't just focus on what you want to say. Most
misunderstandings arise because of how you say
it."
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Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument TKI
Increasingly assertive
Competing (win lose)
Collaboration (win win)
Increasingly cooperative
Compromising (partial win- partial lose)
Avoiding (lose lose)
Accommodating (lose - win)
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Assertiveness Rights

• To be assertive, one must be clear about their
  (and others) rights while communicating.
• The five basic rights of every individual
• You have the right to do anything as long as it
  does not hurt someone.
• You have the right to maintain your dignity by
  being assertive - even if it hurts someone else
  (provided you are not intentionally trying to
  hurt them i.e. being aggressive).
• You have the right to make a request from
  someone, as long as you recognize that the other
  person has the rights to say no.
• In many interpersonal situations the rights
  aren't clear. But you always have the right to
  discuss the problem with the persons involved, to
  clarify it.
• You have the rights to your rights.
• http//spiritize.blogspot.com/2007/05/assertivenes
  s-training.html

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Programme

• Welcome
• Aim and Programme
• Recap (Team to advise on progress since last
  event)
• Conflict Definition Symptoms and Causes
• Natural Styles in Conflict Situations
• Dealing with Conflict Best Practice
• Review Evaluation

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Natural Styles
Teddy Bear Smoothing
Owl Confronting
Fox Compromising
Low Importance R E L A T I O N S H I P S
High Importance
Turtle Withdrawing
Shark Forcing
Low Importance - G O A L S -
High Importance
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(No Transcript)
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1
TURTLE WITHDRAWING TURTLE WITHDRAWING SHARK FORCING TEDDY SMOOTHING FOX COMPROMISING FOX COMPROMISING OWL CONFRONTING
15 15 17 20 23 23 29
2 2
WITHDRAWING WITHDRAWING FORCING SMOOTHING COMPROMISING COMPROMISING CONFRONTING
17 17 13 24 27 27 33
3 3
WITHDRAWING WITHDRAWING FORCING SMOOTHING COMPROMISING COMPROMISING CONFRONTING
19 19 18 22 22 22 27
4 4
WITHDRAWING WITHDRAWING FORCING SMOOTHING COMPROMISING COMPROMISING CONFRONTING
24 24 24 27 24 24 27
5 5
WITHDRAWING WITHDRAWING FORCING SMOOTHING COMPROMISING COMPROMISING CONFRONTING
17 17 13 24 27 27 33
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Natural Styles
Teddy Bear Smoothing
Owl Confronting
1 1
5
Fox Compromising
Low Importance R E L A T I O N S H I P S
High Importance
Turtle Withdrawing
Shark Forcing
4
Low Importance - G O A L S -
High Importance
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Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument TKI
Increasingly assertive
Competing (win lose)
Collaboration (win win)
Increasingly cooperative
Compromising (partial win- partial lose)
Avoiding (lose lose)
Accommodating (lose - win)
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TKI Process Individual Practice

• Individual use of the TKI
• Examine the 5 modes
• Discuss how your behaviour differs from the group
• Suggest how your style may be affecting your
  current relationships
• Propose strategies for improvement

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TKI Process Facilitators Practice

• e.g. analyse and select the appropriate
  conflict-handling method for a situation
• Conflict and change management
• Enhancing communication
• Performance improvement
• Stress management
• Team building

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Programme

• Welcome
• Aim and Programme
• Recap (Team to advise on progress since last
  event)
• Conflict Definition Symptoms and Causes
• Natural Styles in Conflict Situations
• Dealing with Conflict Best Practice
• Review Evaluation

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A Continuum of Approaches
Simple discussion between people to negotiate and
issue on their own with no outside assistance
Adjudication conflicted parties abide, by law,
to the decision of a third party (a judge) who
bases her decision on legal precedents
Conflicting parties have decreasing control over
the process and outcome
Dugan, A Nested Theory of Conflict (Leadership
Journal, 1999)
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Implications for Facilitators Groups

• Assist parties keep track of ideas and
  suggestions resurrect useful ones
• Formal role of mediator to guide and support a
  voluntary dialogue without authority to enforce
  or impose a solution
• Focus on drawing out parties ideas and help them
  evaluate their suitability
• Third-party role and suggest solutions

Increasingly directive
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Dealing with Group Conflict

• State what you see going on
• Ask for confirmation
• Ask the group members to diagnose what is
  happening
• Ask for suggestions about what to do
• Work to reach agreement
• Ensure the agreement is acted upon
• by both parties

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Resolving Conflict NIS ONE

• Ensure the needs of each party are understood
• Ensure both understand the impact of each partys
  position upon the other
• Clarify the source of the conflict
• Identify and quality the options (and resources)
  required for resolution
• Negotiate towards resolution listen, learn,
  seek flexibilities
• Room to move
• Middle ground
• win-win situations
• Ensure resolution is experienced

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Gaining Agreement (1)

• Check you understand their perspective-
• Invite the other person to explain their views
• Listen
• Repeat their views back to them
• Invite the them to confirm you have heard.
• If misunderstanding continues, repeat a-d again

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Gaining Agreement (2)

• Check you have explained your perspective so that
  they understand it-
• Ask other person to allow you to explain your
  views and gain agreement!
• Explain your views
• Ask them to repeat your views back to you
• Confirm that they have understood correctly
• If misunderstanding continues, repeat a-d again

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Conflict Resolution

• Role Play

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Programme

• Welcome
• Aim and Programme
• Recap (Team to advise on progress since last
  event)
• Conflict Definition Symptoms and Causes
• Natural Styles in Conflict Situations
• Dealing with Conflict Best Practice
• Review Evaluation

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Review
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Evaluation

• CPD

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Close
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Assertiveness - Definition

• To be able to interact with people while standing
  up for your rights.
• Being assertive is to one's benefit most of the
  time but it does not mean that you always gets
  what you want.
• The result of being assertive is that
• you feel good about yourself
• other people know how to deal with you and there
  is nothing vague about dealing with you.
• Adapted from Winkipedia

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Assertiveness - Characteristics

• They feel free to express their feelings,
  thoughts, and desires.
• They know their rights.
• They have control over their emotions including
  anger.
• It does not mean that they repress their
  feelings.
• It means that they control them for at difficult
  moments and can then talk about it later in a
  logical way.
• They have a good understanding of (and care for)
  the feelings of the person with whom they are
  communicating.

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Assertiveness Techniques

• The Broken Record
• repeating your requests every time you are met
  with illegitimate resistance However, a
  disadvantage with this technique is that when
  resistance continues, your requests lose power
  every time you have to repeat them. If the
  requests are repeated too often it can backfire
  on the authority of your words. In these cases it
  is necessary to have some sanctions on hand.
• Fogging
• Find some limited truth to agree with in what an
  antagonist is saying
• Agree in part or agree in principle.
• Negative inquiry
• request further, more specific criticism.
• Negative assertion
• agreement with criticism without letting up
  demand
• I statements
• voice one's feelings and wishes without
  expressing a judgment about the other person or
  blaming one's feelings on them.

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• A person is aggressive when they impose their
  will onto another person and tries to force them
  to submit. Examples of aggressive behaviour are
  fighting, accusing, threatening, and a general
  disregard for the other persons feeling.
  Aggression is about dominance.
• People behave passively when they let others push
  them around, when they do not stand up for
  themselves, and when they do what they are told
  regardless of how they feel about it. Passivity
  is about submission. Nobody likes being
  dominated, but it might seem like the smart thing
  to do at the time (perhaps to avoid disagreement
  or confrontation).
• Assertiveness is about finding the middle path.
  We behave assertively when we stand up for
  ourselves (when required), express our true
  feelings, and do not let others take advantage of
  us while, at the same time, being considerate of
  others' feelings.
• Assertivness is not about simply choosing between
  an aggressive or passive style of communication.
  It's about respecting the rights (personal
  boundaries) and feelings of others and expecting
  others to respect your rights and feelings too.
  If someone doesn't respect your rights and
  feelings, you communicate it to them. It isn't
  about scoring points or getting even by lashing
  out at them (aggressive) or feeling hurt and not
  talking about it so as to not embarrass the other
  person (passive). - for self and others.

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• Assertiveness training emphasizes that to be
  assertive, one must be clear about their (and
  others) rights while communicating. The five
  basic rights of every individual
• You have the right to do anything as long as it
  does not hurt someone.
• You have the right to maintain your dignity by
  being assertive - even if it hurts someone else
  (provided you are not intentionally trying to
  hurt them i.e. being aggressive).
• You have the right to make a request from
  someone, as long as you recognize that the other
  person has the rights to say no.
• In many interpersonal situations the rights
  aren't clear. But you always have the right to
  discuss the problem with the persons involved, to
  clarify it.
• You have the rights to your rights.

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Assertive Behaviour - Characteristics

• Openess implies being clear and specific about
  what you want, think and feel. A lack of openness
  often leads to misunderstanding. "I didn't like
  that movie", "I feel irritated when you show up
  late", "I want to eat Chinese. Can we get
  Chinese?" are statements that are clear and
  unlikely to be misinterpreted.
• Directness means addressing the person /
  situation directly. For example, if you are in a
  group and want to say something to someone,
  communicate directly with that person instead of
  addressing the whole group and hoping that the
  person gets the message. Or, if you want your
  husband to get you vegetables from the
  supermarket, address it directly, "Will you
  please get a packet of frozen peas from the
  supermarket?" instead of asking, "Will you, by
  any chance, be going out today?".
• Honesty in communication implies that you be
  truthful and not mislead the other person.
  Example your friend says, "I don't like your
  hairstyle" and you reply, "Yes, I don't too" when
  in fact you actually do. When we aren't honest,
  we deprive the other person a chance to get to
  understand and know us better.
• Appropriateness implies taking the social and
  cultural context into consideration before
  communicating. Asking out a girl in a bar might
  be appropriate, but trying to get a date with a
  widow on her husbands funeral can certainly get
  you into trouble. In other words, don't forget
  your manners!

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Becoming Assertive

• Understand the basic concepts
• Practice non-verbal cues
• Stand straight Make eye contact Speak loud
  enough
• Practice Verbal Responses
• saying yes or no, when we want to
• ask favours and make requests
• communicate our feelings and thoughts in an open
  and direct way
• handle put downs
• Learn
• adaptive behaviours in job situations
• the ability to form and maintain a social network
  
• develop close, personal relationships