Workaholism: The Pretty Addiction

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WorkaholismThe Pretty Addiction

• Nancy D. Losinno,
• EAP Manager

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Alcoholism vs. WorkaholismTrivializing an
illness?

• Alcoholism an illness as defined by the AMA a
  family disease
• Key elements of alcoholism tolerance,
  progression, stereotypical withdrawal syndrome
• Associated with irresponsibility, instability,
  homelessness, etc.
• Seen as a character defect

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WorkaholismIs it an addiction?

• Is there tolerance, progression, or a withdrawal
  syndrome?
• Workaholism seen positively a strength of
  character, a virtue, elevates status to others,
  corporate/organizational climbers, a person
  doing what they love
• Has implications for the family/marriage

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Creating a climate for Workaholism

• Financial demands excessive consumption
  overtime, extra jobs, competing for promotions
  increases
• Chaotic home situations family/marital
  conflicts, childrearing, alcoholism/SA
• Job/Organizational issues

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Job/Organizational Issues

• Perfectionistic boss
• Downsizing fears
• New work ethics always being on connected,
  up to the minute
• Fear of being replaced by younger workers who are
  more savvy with technology

• The glamour of technology makes work addiction
  appealing
• Blurring of lines between home work taking
  work home, telecommuting, home offices
• The lure of the laptop being plugged in ready
  for action
• Technology ensnares us can be hard to resist

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Causes or Enablers?

• Enabling a key concept in the addiction field
  defined as someone/something that allows an
  addiction to go unchecked, offers excuses
• Other Enabler Puritan work ethic values hard
  work productivity extols it as antidote to
  sin evil
• Idle hands are the devils workshop.
• Hard work never killed anybody.

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WorkaholismOrganizational vs.
IntrapsychicProblem

• Work addiction vs. Addiction at work different
  meanings
• Work addiction is primarily a psychological
  problem not environmental or organizational one.
• Is related to issues of low self-esteem, feelings
  of inadequacy, needs for perfectionism in self
  others

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Portrait of the work addict

• Not a team player
• Has a strong need to control, makes it difficult
  to solve problems participate in give/take
• Has a one track mindtheir own way is the best
  way
• Chronic overload creates resentments,
  irritability and impatience
• Workaholics create their own stress impose it
  on others
• WA have higher than average rates of alcohol
  abuse, divorce, stress related illnesses

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Could you beThe Boss from Hell?

• Constantly micromanages out of refusal to
  delegate
• Pushes/hurries employees to stress burnout
• Makes unreasonable demands in hours, expectations
  deadlines
• Overly critical intolerant of mistakes
• Unpredictable, erratic moods
• Overschedules and mismanages time
• Applies/interprets policies inconsistently

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The Childhood of the Work Addict

• Clinical evidence suggests WA as a consequence of
  family dysfunction in childhood that is continued
  into a dysfunctional adulthood
• ACOA/Family Hero perfectionistic,
  manager/controller/responsible kid, self-esteem
  based on doing rather than relationships, cant
  relax

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The Workaholic as Parent

• Often preoccupied with their own thoughts,
  mentally absent
• Always rushing around, irritable, cranky,
  lacking humor
• Focused on adult pursuits colleagues,
  intellect, trying to earn a living
• Involvement with the family is on their own terms
• Child tries to become like the parent in order to
  win their love and approval
• Child measures his worth based on what he does,
  not by who he iscan never meet parents
  expectations

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Through the Eyes of a ChildGrowing Up with a
Workaholic Parent

• Child cant point to a bottle as cause of
  parents abandonment
• American work ethic prohibits child from finding
  fault with parent for overwork
• Logical conclusion something must be wrong with
  ME, Im unlovable
• WA are not physically emotionally available to
  their children do not take an active role in
  their childs development
• Easier for parent to function as mentor than
  parentthere is more distance as mentor

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How am I doing as a Parent?

• Give your kids The Parent Report Cardkids love
  the opportunity to evaluate their Mom/Dad
  sparks discussion for ways to improve
• Strive to be a good enough parent, a concept by
  Bruno Bettleheim

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Repairing RelationshipsWith Children

• Really believe that devoting time to
  relationships is a good investment
• Save reading or work until children are asleep,
  help with homework, play games, be silly
  spontaneous, have meals together, show interest
  in childs activities, hobbies, friends,
  problems.
• Avoid bringing the job home via bad moods,
  unloading/displacing anger frustration
• Practice family rituals which provide anchor
  for children (mealtimes, holidays, special
  occasions, etc.)
• Avoid making your children old before their time
  by saddling them with responsibilities that are
  beyond their developmental capability
• Let children know, by example, that it is okay to
  relax and do nothing. It is also okay to
  sometimes fail, and not be perfect.

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The Workholic as Spouse/Partner

• Non-workaholic spouse complains of being alone
  in the marriage, feels abandoned, unappreciated
  plays second fiddle to needs of job
• WA is physically emotionally remote, sexually
  uninterested
• Marital relationship is serious, lacking fun
• Family time dictated by work schedules vacations
  may be postponed/avoided around job needs
• Is unaware of the unreasonable adjustments they
  are asking family members to make around their
  needs and the needs of job
• Lets the other parent do most of the parenting

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The Workaholicin Love

• WA usually demand a great deal of their marital
  partner (understanding, patience, deferral of
  needs, adjusting)
• WA tend to avoid confrontation engage in
  silent treatment
• WA may engage in extramarital affairs,
  particularly with an office-mate
• WA may develop alcoholism or substance abuse out
  of unresolved emotional issues as a coping
  mechanism to relax, discharge emotional tension

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Repairing RelationshipsWith Your Spouse/Partner

• Stop the blame game, get professional help, be
  willing to address family-of-origin issues as
  well as possible depression, alcoholism or
  substance abuse. Cultivate the language of
  feelings.
• Cultivate joint activities that are enjoyed by
  both, and do not have anything to do with work
• Set boundaries on cell phone intrusions,
  Blackberries, resist temptation to net-surf or
  check email do not take laptop on vacation
• Remove cell phone and/or computer from bedroom
• Create tech-free days tech-free zones in the
  home
• Create a day of rest when enjoyable,
  non-competitive activities can take place
• Be willing to address destructive communication
  patterns (door slamming, shouting, name-calling,
  sarcasm, threats, gunnysacking, walking out/not
  returning, etc.
• Be teachable, therapy may take many visits hard
  work to bring the marriage up to acceptable
  standards

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Checks and BalancesTo Overcome Workaholism

• Schedule a checkup with your doctor. Maybe you
  need physical evidence that overwork stress is
  unhealthy. Follow his/her advice.
• Consider some talking therapy to identify your
  feelings trace patterns of perfectionism, issues
  of inadequacy, inability to relax, needing to be
  a hero, etc.
• Are you addicted to the adrenaline rush? Do
  you substitute addictions?
• Let yourself have a dream. Many workaholics
  create self-punishing regimens because of
  childhood patterns of emotional and/or physical
  abuse. Learn to re-parent yourself and stop the
  vicious cycle.

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Balancing Work HomeSome ideas to remember

• No matter how hard you try, you cannot be all
  things to all people. Despite your grand
  efforts, some people will still push your not
  enough button.
• You are still a good person, even if you leave
  your office with work unfinished. Remember that
  your other responsibilities (family, health,
  etc.) are just as important and you need to tend
  to other parts of your life too.
• Pick someone who will hold you accountable for
  the changes you are trying to make in your life.
  Be willing to share your struggles with this
  person, and be willing to take their advice.
• If family or marital conflicts make you want to
  avoid going home, make a plan to find resolution.
  Use your EAP, find a therapist, just do
  something to start a positive forward motion.
• If you cannot sleep well or must use alcohol or
  other substances to fall asleep, you may have a
  sleep disorder. Call EAP to get a sleep
  screening and/or a referral to special sleep
  centers for diagnostics.

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Your BNL EAP

• Your BNL EAP Manager Nancy Losinno, X4567 is
  available Mon-Fri 830-500. Walk-ins accepted
  but appointments are preferable.
• 24/7 crisis coverage is provided by external EAP
  vendor Magellan Behavioral Health 1-800-327-2182
  or visit their website at www.magellanhealth.com/m
  ember
• You are covered for five free counseling visits
  with a community-based EAP clinician utilizing
  the services of Magellan. Call EAP Manager Nancy
  Losinno for a referral to providers who are
  accepting new clients.
• This service is available to employees, and their
  household members for five visits per person/per
  identified problem/per year.