Family Chapter 18 Traditional Image of Family The

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FamilyChapter 18
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Traditional Image of Family

• The traditional image of the ideal American
  family is a monolithic image in which the family
  is
• Rigidly nuclear.
• Suburban Middle class.
• Traditional gender roles.
• This image was idealized in 1950s and 60s TV
  shows like Ozzie Harriet and Leave it to
  Beaver. The reality is that only about 10 of
  American families fit this image. American
  families are actually very diverse.

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Basic Concepts

• Kinship social relationships based on blood,
  marriage, or adoption.
• Family a relative permanent social group of 2 or
  more people who share a kinship.
• Some qualify this definition to add that, in
  addition to the above, these people live
  together.
• Note Social conservatives typically view family
  in much more narrow terms. They see it as a legal
  marriage between a man and a woman. Social
  liberals disagree, arguing that we need a more
  inclusive definition of the concept.

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Basic Concepts

• Family of origin the family one is born into.
• Family of procreation the family one forms,
  typically to have kids.
• Marriage a socially approved mating arrangement
  that is expected to be relatively permanent.

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The Family in Cross-Cultural Perspective

• While all societies recognize families, they do
  not do family the same way.
• Industrial societies tend to favor the nuclear
  family. This is where there are only the parents
  and the children (and pets) living under one
  roof.
• Non-industrial societies tend to favor the
  extended family.This is where the parents and
  kids live with or very close to other kinfolk.
• The Americans tend to favor the nuclear family,
  but this is mainly in the middle class. Among the
  American lower class, extended families are quite
  common. There is much variety in American
  families.

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Why are nuclear families so typical of industrial
societies?
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Why Nuclear Families?

• 1. Geographic mobility.
• In industrial societies, work and family are
  differentiated institutions. People have relocate
  often.
• 2. Social mobility.
• Our society is also socially mobile, with a fair
  amount of upward mobility on the ladder of
  success.
• Both geographic and social mobility tend to
  weaken extended family ties. Nuclear families are
  highly mobile.
• 3. American values.
• Another reason is that Americans like
  individualism and privacy, and the nuclear family
  is a more closed and private family system with
  fewer relatives butting in.
• 4. The rise of a large middle class brought more
  affluence.
• Affluence made it possible to afford to live
  independently from other kinfolk. Nuclear
  families tend to be middle class families.

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Comparison of American and Iraqi
FamiliesAmerican Iraqi

• Romantic love is the basis of marriage.
• Most are nuclear families.
• More egalitarian with democratic authority.
• More exogamy.
• Individualism emphasized.

• Arranged marriage is more common. 50 are between
  cousins this promotes clan solidarity.
• Most are extended families.
• More patriarchal with elders in authority, more
  authoritarian.
• Strict endogamy for most.
• Familism (family over individual) is emphasized.

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Marriage Patterns

• Cultural norms regulate whom an individual is
  allowed to marry, and these norms vary across
  cultures.
• Endogamy marriage between people of the same
  group or category.
• Most Americans are fairly endogamous by race,
  religion, social class, and age. We tend to marry
  people who are like ourselves, but we are a
  relatively free society so this is not so
  strictly enforced.
• Exogamy marriage between people of different
  groups or categories, such as between a white and
  a black person, or a Jew and a Christian.
• Since the 1960s, Americans are more open to
  exogamous marriages by race, ethnicity, sexual
  orientation, etc.

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Monogamy Vs. Polygamy

• Industrial societies tend to favor norms of
  monogamy one partner has one mate.
• Our high divorce rate brings serial monogamy,
  where one mate is replaced with another.
• Only 1/4th of the worlds societies limit
  marriage to monogamy, yet most marriages across
  the world are monogamous. This is due to the
  expense of having multiple spouses, the similar
  ratio of men to women, and the fact that people
  seem to like pairing off.
• Non-industrial societies have more norms of
  polygamy one partner has multiple mates.
• Polygyny one man mates with multiple women.
• Polyandry one woman mates with multiple men.
  This is fairly rare, given that most societies
  are patriarchal.

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Family Authority Patterns

• Patriarchy male social dominance. This pattern
  is found all over the world. Most societies are
  patriarchal.
• Matriarchy female social dominance. This is so
  rare that some argue there are no matriarchal
  societies in the world.
• However there are societies where women are
  relatively equal to men. These are egalitarian
  societies.
• The Americans and Europeans are moving from
  patriarchal, the current arrangement, toward
  egalitarian authority where men and women share
  decision-making together.

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Four Historical Forces that Help Women Toward
Equality

• 1. Industrial Revolution changed standards.
• The new era emphasizes cognition over brute
  power, and women are just as smart as men.
• 2. Decline of religious codes and the rise of
  secular society.
• Traditional Christian religion sanctified social
  hierarchy. The father was defined as above the
  mother, who was above the children.
• 3. Decreasing size of the family gave women time.
• 1800 8 children on average. This is burdensome
  for women.
• 1900 4 children.
• 2000 2.3 children. Women got time for more
  pursuits like jobs.
• 4. Technology changes like the pill gave women
  control.
• The pill (1959) gave women control to postpone
  pregnancy so they could get educated and get
  better jobs.

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History of U.S. Family, Functions, and Economy
Economy
Authority
Structure
Family Functions
Period
Pre-1800s
Agrarian
Patriarchy, religious, women have economic roles.
Modified-extended
Almost everything, including economic functions.
Limited to child-centered and emotional
activities, with father as breadwinner and mother
as caretaker (ideally). Children and women become
sentimentalized women are more sexualized.
1850-1950
Industrial
Patriarchy, more secular, women lost economic
roles.
Nuclear
Declining patriarchy, secular, women in the labor
force.
Post-1970
Post-industrial
Less rigidly nuclear
Dual wage families means some loss of child
rearing functions to day care and schools.
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Changing Images of Family

• 1. Family as Haven. 1850s-today.
• With differentiation of work from family, work
  became associated with cold, competitive
  conditions while family was linked to a warm
  haven of love, especially for the husband
  returning home from work. Family expectations
  increased.
• 2. Family as Fun. 1950s-today.
• Post WWII affluence brought new expectations of
  family recreation which raised expectations about
  family life as fun times.
• 3. Family as Encumbrance. 1960s-today.
• More family conflicts came out in the open. The
  rise of a distinct youth culture brought a
  generation gap between teens and parents, and
  rising feminism increased womens frustration
  with patriarchal families. Since the 1960s, we
  are a bit more open about the family experience
  as a negative experience.

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Four Key Functions of Family

• 1. Socialization.
• The family is responsible for primary
  socialization, making it the most influential
  institution in society.
• 2. Regulation of sex.
• All societies regulate sex, and all have an
  incest taboo (a strong more forbidding sex
  between certain kin). This taboo helps define
  family boundaries while protecting the diversity
  of the biological gene pool.
• 3. Social placement.
• The family ascribes an immediate social status
  for the infant and provides them with a social
  identity.
• 4. Material and emotional security.
• People in families tend to be healthier and
  happier than individuals living alone.

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Courtship in Non-Industrial Societies

• In non-industrial societies, courtship is
  considered too important to be left alone to the
  two individuals.
• This is due to the central economic importance of
  the family to survival.
• These cultures tend to favor arranged marriages -
  marriages set up by the parents, often when the
  children are still very young. In this system,
  marriage represents an alliance between 2
  families more than 2 individuals.
• Arranged marriages tend to be relative strong
  marriages, largely because the boy and girl share
  the same cultural values and attitudes. They tend
  to be homogamous.
• Homogamy means that the couple have similar
  characteristics. Homogamy promotes marital
  strength.

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Courtship in Industrial Societies

• With industrialization and growing individualism,
  extended families decline and nuclear families
  increase.
• The rise of personal choice (freedom) means that
  the marriage will be between 2 individuals who
  choose each other.
• Here, courtship tends to be extended, because
  they need to get to know each other on their own
  terms and they need to select the right
  partner.
• Another reason for the extensive courtship is
  that patriarchal societies tend to expect men to
  delay marriage so that they can become
  financially established.
• In the past, courtship used to be chaperoned by
  parents. Today it is frequently a period of
  sexual experimentation and exploration of
  romantic love between 2 individuals.

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Romantic Love

• Romantic love is largely a Western ideal
  associated with the tiny aristocratic class of
  past monarchies. Eventually it spread to the vast
  rising middle classes of the 19th century,
  emphasizing erotic passion as the basis of
  marriage.
• Before then, the basis of marriage involved
  practical and rational considerations, usually
  involving considerations of wealth, standing, and
  family alliances.
• Today Americans are heavily socialized into the
  value of erotic romance as the basis of marriage.
• About 50 of all songs on the radio are romantic
  love songs.
• Americans view romantic love as the single most
  important element in courtship.

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Romantic Love

• Romantic love emphasizes the non-rational appeal
  of erotic passion as the basis of the
  relationship, and this can lead to intense
  initial bonding. It is the stuff of much poetry.
• Romantic love is a non-rational criteria in a
  highly rationalized society, reminding us that we
  are not that rational.
• However, romantic love is highly unstable.
  Studies suggest romantic love tends to decrease
  over time. Marriages based solely on romantic
  love can become unstable.
• This helps explain why Americans have one of the
  highest divorce rates among stable societies. We
  use non-rational considerations as the primary
  basis of commitments intended to last a life
  time.
• Romantic love, sometimes called erotic love, is
  one of several types of love, including affection
  (family based such as between parent and child
  or brother and sister), friendship, and spiritual
  love. Often a couple that marries for romantic
  love develops these other forms of love,
  strengthening their relationship over time.

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Romantic Love

• How is romantic love functional today?
• Industrial societies require a lot of
  geographical mobility among the workforce. A
  nuclear family bonded by romantic passion
  functions to make it easier to leave ones
  parents, siblings, and friends behind to pursue a
  job.
• Given the perhaps over-rationalized nature of our
  society, romantic love (and rock n roll) offer a
  passionate reminder that we are not machines. We
  have feelings and we are free to express them.

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Romantic Love

• How is romantic love dysfunctional?
• Studies of couples that move away from families
  and friends to a distant city to get new jobs
  reveal that there is an initial increase in the
  emotional solidarity of the couple, but that
  after a year or so there is a good possibility
  that one of the partners will become
  overly-dependent on the attentions of the other
  and the relationship becomes stressed.
• Romantic love brings a high level of emotional
  intensity. Consequently, spousal arguments can
  breed aggression and violence. The Americans have
  a high rate of family violence and divorce partly
  for this reason.
• Overall, marriages based solely on romantic love
  are less strong than marriages based on practical
  considerations.

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Homogamy

• The strongest marriages are characterized by
  homogamy, where the couple shares similar social
  characteristics involving age, social class,
  ethnicity, religion, and core values. The more
  homogamous the couple, the greater their long
  term compatibility.
• Fortunately, people tend to be attracted to
  others who share their values and come from a
  similar cultural background.

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Gendered Intimacy

• Generally, whereas men use intimacy to get sex,
  women use sex to get intimacy.
• It is partly related to male and female biology.
  Men have a higher sex drive at younger ages,
  while women have a higher sex drive at older
  ages.
• This is also due to socialization, which
  encourages women to pursue intimacy while telling
  men to be less intimate and more autonomous and
  self-interested.
• This means that men and women who have been
  socialized into mainstream definitions of
  masculine and feminine are likely to
  experience love and marriage in different ways.
• It also means that women are much more likely to
  complain of the marriage as lacking in intimacy,
  and this may lead to divorce.

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Gendered Intimacy

• Women tend to blend sexuality with emotional
  intimacy men tend to separate sex and intimacy.
• For women more than men, an argument will affect
  her desire to have sex with her partner.
• Marriage brings responsibilities that passion
  alone cannot conquer, and passion itself is
  affected by social performance.
• Satisfying sexual relationships are dependent
  upon satisfying social relationships, especially
  for women.
• When the quality of the husband-wife interaction
  declines, the frequency and quality of sex tends
  to decline as well.
• The key to marital bliss is in the everyday
  quality of spousal interaction. They must enjoy
  each others company in rooms beyond the bedroom.

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Marriage

• Research suggests that romantic love involves a
  high level of fantasy. People fall in love with
  others for what they would like them to be not
  as they really are.
• Women, more than men, are socialized to fall in
  love with the idea of marriage. Consequently
  women tend to have higher expectations about
  marriage, and are therefore more likely to become
  disappointed with the reality of marriage.
• In marriage, spouses must learn to be realistic
  about their expectations of their partners.
• There are several significant periods in a
  marriage that involve re-negotiation of roles and
  that many bring conflicts.
• 1. The first baby.
• 2. When the last child leaves home.

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Problems of Childrearing

• Childrearing places special stresses on the
  family.
• 1. Economic stress. While children are an
  economic asset in agrarian economies, they are an
  economic liability in industrial economies. It
  has become very expensive to raise a child.
• 2. Social stress. Due to traditional gender
  roles, the mother tends to lose much of her
  social life because she bears primary
  responsibility for parenting the child, and she
  often becomes more dependent upon the man.
• Women experience more role conflicts due to
  conflicting expectations as a parent versus a
  wage earner. Research suggests that women do
  benefit from having roles outside the family,
  however. This is because family stress can be
  buffered by having enjoyable non-family roles.
  This is called role buffering.
• 3. Psychological stress. It is not uncommon for
  men to feel jealous toward new babies and to feel
  more personal stress as the breadwinner.

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Marriage in Later Life

• Today couples can expect to live into their mid
  to late 70s. This is 20 years longer than 150
  years ago.
• By the age of 50, the children have typically
  left home, leaving the husband and wife home
  alone to readjust their relationship.
• This can be stressful and it is not uncommon for
  divorce to occur in this phase of marriage. They
  may learn they have little in common other than
  the kids.
• This can also be a stressful time because
  motherhood may have been the wifes master status
  and she must now renegotiate her identity.

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Varieties of Family Life

• 1. Social Class.
• The lower the social class, the greater the
  economic stresses and the more difficult to
  sustain a family.
• For this reason, people in the lower class are
  less likely to marry, and once married, are more
  likely to divorce than other social classes.
• The lower the social class, the less nuclear and
  more extended the family form is likely to be.
  This is because extended families offer more
  support for poor people.
• The only exception involves the upper class,
  where extended families are common in order to
  promote in-group solidarity and to protect
  in-group wealth. Rich people are expected to
  marry other rich people and this helps sustain
  extended family wealth. This is throw-back to the
  aristocracies of old.
• The family is our most adaptive institution, and
  we adapt our families to specific conditions.

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Varieties of Family Life

• 2. Ethnicity and Race
• A. Hispanics (about 15 of the U.S. population)
• More emphasis on familism, which means loyalty
  and duty to family.
• Tend to lean toward extended families, partly due
  to Hispanics being disproportionately poor.
• Tend to support traditional rigid gender and
  family roles that support patriarchy.

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Ethnicity and Race

• B. Blacks (about 13 of the U.S. population)
• Highest percentage of single mothers.
• Almost 50 of black families are headed by a
  single mother, compared with about 14 among
  whites. Female headed households are common among
  the poor of all races.
• The black family has been strongly shaped by the
  legacy of racism and the poverty brought by
  racism.
• Blacks are three times more likely to be poor
  than whites.
• Average black household income is only 2/3rds
  that of whites.
• Blacks suffer from higher rates of unemployment,
  partly because many live in the ghetto, where
  unemployment is high.

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Blacks

• Blacks are less like to marry, and once married,
  are more likely to divorce than whites.
• Like white families, black families tend to be
  nuclear in the middle class and extended in the
  lower class.
• Today, more than 1/3rd of all black children grow
  up in poverty.
• Yet there is remarkable strength in many poor
  black families because extended family members
  support each other.
• It is practical for single mothers to rely
  extensively upon her extended family supports for
  help with day care, transportation, housing,
  emotional support, and other vital needs.

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Black fertility rates

• The birth rate for black women has generally been
  higher than for the rest of the population.
• In 1996 there were 74 births per 1000 black
  women, compared with 45 births per thousand for
  the American population overall.
• Black fertility peaked in 1989 at 91 births per
  1000 black women.
• The high fertility rate of poor black women has
  been the focus of much debate, because the more
  children a poor mother has, the greater the
  economic stress.

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Why is the fertility rate higher among poor black
families?

• Education factors. Generally, the less educated,
  the less likely to use birth control. Plus, our
  popular culture is highly sexualized.
• Emotional factors. Given American racism, sexism,
  and classism, poor black women are not as well
  respected in our society. Parenthood confers at
  least some respect for the mother and it
  produces the feeling of being productive in
  society. It may also be the case that she wants
  love, and she hopes her children will bring her
  love.
• Economic factors. She may hope that one of her
  children will become affluent, so she thinks the
  more babies she has the greater the chances. In
  reality, the more babies she has, the more
  economic stress she has.
• Cultural factors. In the ghetto, it is not
  uncommon (1) for her to see other girls having
  more babies and to see it as normal behavior, and
  (2) for young black men to feel pride by having
  babies from different women. If he cant be a man
  financially at least he can sire children to show
  he is a real man. Commercial hip hop doesnt
  help here.

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Gender Issues

• American culture promotes the idea that marriage
  is more beneficial for women than for men.
• This is a myth. The myth is related to
  traditional gender role expectations that women
  give up their jobs upon marriage and childbirth
  to assume the role of full time mother.
• The problem here is that it makes women dependent
  upon men, and thus gives more power and authority
  to men at the expense of gender equality.
• Another problem is that it places all eggs in
  the single basket of motherhood. Research
  suggests that people feel more fulfilled when
  they have a variety of productive roles.

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Gender Issues

• Research suggests that, contrary to myth,
  marriage tends to be more beneficial for men than
  women.
• Married women report more illnesses and lower
  levels of personal happiness than single women.
  Women are more likely than men to feel trapped in
  marriage.
• Women tend to be socialized into unrealistically
  high expectations about marriage, and patriarchy
  takes its toll on women in every institution,
  including marriage.
• Married men report fewer illnesses and higher
  levels of personal happiness than single men.
• Men have been socialized into relatively lower
  expectations about marriage.
• Egalitarian marriages where the husband shares
  with the housework are associated with the
  highest levels of happiness, while patriarchal
  marriages where the wife has a full time wage job
  and also does the housework are associated with
  the lowest levels of happiness.

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Gender Issues

• Today, American men do only about 1/3rd of the
  housework compared with women.
• This is better than it used to be, but it is
  inherently unfair in many cases because most
  women today have full time wage jobs.
• This issue is complex. Men are socialized to not
  be as clean-oriented as women. What is dirty is
  in the eye of the beholder, and women are more
  likely than men to perceive a dirty household.
• A key issue is whether women accept the
  relatively less amount of labor done by men. If
  she doesnt, it often means conflict.
• There are socialization implications for
  future-parents here. Should boys be socialized
  toward household chores like cleaning toilets
  more?
• Due to patriarchy, men have more leisure time
  than women in context of their family
  responsibilities.
• This may create marital conflicts too.

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Family Problems - Divorce

• Americans have one of the highest marriage rates
  in the world. Roughly 90 of all Americans
  eventually marry.
• But America also has the highest divorce rate in
  the world. Today about 40-45 of American
  marriages end up in divorce.
• The divorce rate peaked in the early 1980s in the
  high 40s percentage and has declined slightly
  since then.
• Among whites the divorce rate is just under 40,
  while among blacks it is over 66.
• Between 1890 and 1990 the divorce rate increased
  by a factor of ten.

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What explains the high divorce rate?

• 1. Romantic love. Our cultures emphasis on
  romantic love breeds unstable relationships.
• 2. Increases in individualism and the
  privatization of marriage. Americans spend less
  time with their families today. We have become
  more individualistic and privatized. The rise of
  television and dual-earner families has made it
  harder for spouses to connect.
• 3. Women are less dependent on the wages of the
  husband, making it easier for her to leave the
  relationship.
• 4. Children are more expensive and bring new
  stresses that some couples did not anticipate.
• 5. Divorce is no longer so stigmatized today
  values are changing - and its easier to obtain a
  divorce today.
• 6. The American economy has become less stable
  since 1972, bringing new economic stresses.
• 7. The high re-marriage rate means that divorced
  people can expect to find someone else.

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Who divorces? Divorce rates are higher for the
following categories

• Teenagers and younger people, more than middle
  aged people.
• The lower social classes, where economic stresses
  are great.
• Where marriage was due to unexpected pregnancy.
• Where there is less homogamy between the spouses,
  or where the spouses sense they are incompatible
  or fight a lot.
• Where women have successful careers. Likewise,
  where men prioritize their careers over marriage,
  and his spouse is not economically dependent on
  him.
• Those who have already been through a divorce or
  whose parents divorced.
• People who move away from kinfolk and friends and
  become more socially isolated.
• People unable to cope with the loss of passion in
  a marriage or where one or both partners is
  immature or unfaithful.

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Problems of Divorce

• Divorce is not necessarily a problem. When
  divorce is the consequence of abuse, it is the
  solution to a problem. However, divorce usually
  involves making difficult adjustments, especially
  if kids are involved
• 1. Emotional adjustments sadness, depression,
  disappointment, sense of failure or loss, perhaps
  hostility.
• Generally women have better coping strategies
  than men. Women are more likely to seek support
  from friends, family and counselors. All else
  being equal, it may take the average man twice as
  long to recover (up to a year).
• 2. Legal adjustments new legal burdens,
  especially for estranged parents.
• 3. Community adjustments Individuals must
  redefine themselves and become single again.
  Often friends divide up, favoring one or the
  other partner.
• 4. Economic adjustments women tend to suffer a
  drop in living standards, while men tend to see a
  rise in their living standards.

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Divorce Involving Parents

• More than half of all divorces involve parents
  who must resolve child custody issues.
• The traditional pattern is to award custody to
  the mother, because women have been traditionally
  viewed as the primary parent.
• Recently a growing number of fathers have sought
  custody, and now joint custody where both
  parents retain child care responsibilities is
  common.
• Joint custody preserves a strong bond between
  both parents and lessens the degree of hostility
  between the spouses. However it is difficult if
  one spouse moves away or the parents do not get
  along with each other.
• Where the mother gets custody and the father is
  required to pay child support, there is a good
  chance that the father will become delinquent
  after about a year, especially if there is anger
  or resentment by the father. Increasingly, the
  state has stepped in to force payment.
• Unpaid support contributes to the feminization of
  poverty, where women are more likely to be poor
  than men.

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Divorce Involving Parents

• Divorce brings emotional stresses, particularly
  on fathers who are not given custody and on
  children.
• If the child is too young to remember, then the
  divorce tends to be less traumatizing. If the
  child is old enough to remember but not yet
  mature, the divorce often brings long-term
  trauma, and it is not uncommon for children to
  blame themselves for the divorce.
• These life changes are highly stressful in most
  cases. Yet studies suggest that children seem to
  fare better under divorce compared with staying
  in a family characterized by a high level of
  conflict and violence.
• Divorces involving legal settlements imposed on
  parents by judges in an antagonistic setting with
  opposing attorneys often bring poor settlements
  for one or both parties.
• When divorce is mediated by a child custody
  mediator, such as offered by neutral
  organizations like United Way, the settlement is
  more likely to be respected and honored by both
  parents. (The lawyer merely carries out this
  mediated agreement).

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Remarriage

• As the divorce rate in the U.S. increased, so did
  the remarriage rate. Today more than 80 of those
  who divorce will remarry.
• Men are more likely to remarry than women.
• Remarriage often creates blended families
  composed of children from different marriages.
• Blended families must make special efforts to
  establish new (in-group) family boundaries to
  include the children.
• Subjecting children to new, instant family
  relationships is difficult and stressful. Blended
  families are difficult to sustain due to these
  new stresses.

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Family Violence

• The U.S. has the highest rate of family violence
  among all industrial societies.
• In 2005, more than 700,000 people were victims of
  family violence.
• 73 of the victims were women.
• Today, almost 1/3rd of all female murders are due
  to family violence.
• This compares with only 4 of male murders.
• Patriarchy has a severe effect on women.
  Historically, wives were the property of the
  husband and it was permissible for him to beat
  her if she was disobedient.

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Family Violence

• Our society promotes the ideal image of family as
  a source of haven, fun, and fulfillment. It also
  promotes the family as sacred and private.
• These images hide the reality of the family
  experience, which usually falls short of its
  ideal.
• The American nuclear family is characterized by
  high levels of emotional intensity between the
  spouses, which is wonderful in context of love.
  But it also helps explain American family
  violence. Passion may quickly give way to violent
  anger.
• The American emphasis on romantic love, the
  American love affair with alcohol, and the
  American rat race of stressful living
  contribute to our cultures high family violence
  rate. And there are other factors too.

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Spousal Abuse

• The single most dreaded call by the police is the
  domestic dispute call. Police are more likely
  to be harmed by domestic disputes than any other
  call. This is due to the emotional intensity of
  these arguments.
• Spouse abuse occurs in all social classes,
  although it is more likely to occur in the most
  stressed out social class the lower class.
• Psychologists have identified a relationship
  between stress and physical aggression.
• Wherever there is chronic stress, there is a
  greater likelihood of family abuse.
• About one in six couples have at least some
  violence in their relationship in any given year.
  
• Women are as likely as men to initiate violence.
  However,
• 1. Violence against men is often retaliatory, and
• 2. Women are more seriously harmed by men than
  the other way around.

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Spousal Abuse Causes

• 1. Romance and passion create an atmosphere of
  intensity.
• 2. Psychological sense of feeling trapped or
  caged in causes stress, which is linked to
  aggressive behavior.
• This sensation of feeling trapped may be caused
  by a bad relationship, a bad job, a new baby,
  health issues, financial stress, etc.
• 3. Patriarchy. Women are devalued in patriarchal
  societies, and patriarchy encourages male
  authoritarianism.
• In North Carolina at the beginning of the 21st
  century, it was legal to rape your wife,
  providing you shared the same roof.
• 4. Traditional masculinity (related to
  patriarchy) emphasizes brute power, aggression,
  and dominance.
• 5. Immaturity by the perpetrator.
• 6. The American society encourages aggressive
  behavior. We are socialized into violent
  action-movies and hip hop culture that celebrate
  our gun culture.
• 7. Alcohol Americas favorite drink creates
  the Jekyll-Hyde syndrome.
• 8. Family experiences growing up violence begets
  violence, reminding us that family violence is
  largely learned behavior.
• 9. Social isolation. The private nuclear family
  isolates and hides family violence. When friends
  and extended family do not live nearby, violence
  is more likely.

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Why doesnt she leave him?

• In the past, the law regarded domestic violence
  as a private issue between the spouses. She had
  few resources.
• Even today, there are relatively few womens
  shelters. In the Fall of 2007, one of the main
  Charlotte womens shelters closed.
• Traditionally, women have had few options. Even
  today, most women remain in the abusive
  relationship. Why?
• She lacks sufficient family and wage resources to
  get out
• Her self-esteem tends to be very low
• she has become passive and tries to endure the
  violence
• She often feels she loves him and hopes he will
  reform (often this means stop drinking) some day
  
• she feels she is dependent on him, perhaps
  because they have children and she does not have
  a good job or family resources
• she may have tried to get away but lacked the
  resources and ended up back with him again. After
  that it is harder to take action.

49
Child Abuse

• In 2005, there were 3 million reports of alleged
  child abuse or neglect.
• Roughly 1500 children die each year from child
  abuse.
• Child abuse is the ultimate taboo. This is
  because it is a severe violation of trust and
  power in a dependent relationship.
• Children are dependents. They must depend on
  their families to provide for them, and this
  special power must not be abused.
• Child abuse is both physical and emotional.
  Children suffer deep and lasting scars
• They may somehow blame themselves
• They learn to distrust others
• They have difficulty loving others
• They frequently abuse themselves with drugs,
  prostitution, and other self-abusive behaviors.

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Who are the abusers?

• Child abuse is largely learned behavior.
• Roughly 58 of child abusers are women, almost
  all of whom were themselves abused.
• Incest, a special case of child abuse, involves
  the sexual abuse of a child. About 90 of these
  abusers are men, but they do not fall into easy
  categories.
• One common trait of child abuse is that the
  abusers themselves were more likely to have been
  abused when they were children.
• Violent behavior within close family
  relationships is typically learned behavior.

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Primary causes of non-incest child abuse

• 1. Stress, such as from feeling trapped in a
  relationship, a constantly screaming child, a bad
  job, feeling overworked or exhausted, etc.
• 2. Authoritarianism. Often the child abuser
  expects too much of the child and punishes them
  for failing to meet their strict and overly-high
  expectations.
• 3. Immaturity.
• 4. Alcohol.
• 5. Learned via their own family experience.
• 6. Absence of family and other social supports.

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Conclusion

• Americans have high divorce and family violence
  rates for reasons that relate to the social
  structure itself.
• The Americans are the only industrial democracy
  that treats work and family life as two separate
  spheres. They are not. If work is stressful, we
  bring these stresses home and kick the dog.
  American jobs are highly stressful and policy
  makers provide fewer supports for U.S. families
  compared with every other industrial democracy.
• Americans are the only industrial democracy
  without national health care, national day care
  supports, 4-6 week vacations, and strong
  anti-poverty welfare support programs. In this
  country, the prevailing attitude is capitalist
  self-interest.
• There are other key factors too American
  gun-culture, masculinity, romantic love,
  hyper-individualism, and the American love affair
  with alcohol all contribute to our family
  problems.

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End