When Victims Offend: The Domestic Violence Flip

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When Victims Offend The Domestic Violence Flip
Jon McGregor, M.Sc., M.F.T.Calgary Counselling
Centre Community Crisis SocietyCoordinator
Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Program
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Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Program

• Partnership program (CCC CCS)
• Enhancing access to resources for men and their
  families, affected by domestic abuse
• Men experiencing any abuse, seeking support and
  change for themselves/kids/family
• Counselling, Advocacy, Outreach

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Objectives

• Clarifying the grey of domestic violence
• Learn what to look for concerning victimization
• Understanding the complexities of working with
  offending victims
• Be aware of victimized mens perception of
  working within the system

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Overview

• Examine statistics of abuse
• Explore the dynamics of abuse (power)
• Assessment Identifying abuse direction
• Working within the System
• Useful interventions

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Rates General Social Survey (GSS)

• Physical Abuse
• 7 total 6 in males (546,000 men), 7 in
  females (653,000 women)
• Stats Can 2009 police reported 83 female
  victims, 17 male victims

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Rates Meta Analysis (Archer 00)

• Women slightly more likely to hit men, to use
  violence more frequently
• Men slightly more likely to inflict injuries
• Note different types of samples womens refuge
  (e.g., shelter) vs community samples

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Rates (GSS)

• The majority of spousal violence is not an
  isolated event
• 54 men said more than once
• 11 men said 10x or more
• 10 of victims seeking shelter support are men

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Rates (GSS)

• Violence men experience (from female partners) is
  less frequently injurious
• 19 of men reported being injured, 2 sought
  medical attention
• Only 17 of men who have experienced abuse report
  to police, 20 to social services

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Rates GSS

• Emotional Abuse
• Men and women are equally likely to experience
  emotional abuse such as controlling
• (e.g., jealousy, knowing where the other is)

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Turning Point Women Who Abuse

• video

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Understanding Domestic Abuse

• Abuse starts with a dynamic, relating within the
  relationship in terms of power/control
• Domestic abuse goes beyond physical
• When emotional abuse is present, 10x risk for
  physical abuse
• Myth Perpetrators are physically bigger

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Understanding Domestic Abuse

• Abuse isnt just physical
• Compliance based on fear
• Confusion, blurred sense of responsibility
• Partner gets their way
• Concern for children
• Themes of control imbalance of power

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House of Abuse
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Power Dynamics
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Domestic Abuse complexity

• These statistics contradict the dominant
  discourse of men as perpetrators, not as victims.
• We are informed by these discourses, and we may
  be biased to ignore the male victim story (as
  real as it may be to that client)

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The Flip DV Complexities

• The unilateral approach insufficient
• Struggle for control
• Using violence after experiencing prolonged emo
  abuse
• Karpmans Triangle (conflict roles) Blurred
  responsibility

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Assessment the Flip

• Whos afraid of whom? Patterns?
• Minimizing use of emotional aggression,
  amplifying experience of physical aggression
• Distinguish abusive from assertive behavior
• Sensitivity to control feeling out of control
• Skepticism should slow down the description

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Case Example
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Kevin
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Themes Emerging

• Emotional shame, hurt, confusion (e.g., of
  responsibility, multiplicity, emotions)
• Masculinity as tightly tied to experience of
  control vs victimization
• Migliaccio (2001)

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Entitlement to Offend

• Taking matters into my own hands
• Ive put up with this garbage for long enough
• This is just how family life goes (violence is
  normal)

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Meaning of the System

• What does the worker/educator/counselor MEAN to
  the offender
• Suppressing the victim story
• DV is an issue of power and control vigilant to
  power in relationships
• Playing the victim, the client may see the system
  as the problem (e.g., interfering)
• Therapy as doing time

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Supporting Men

• Penetrating barriers to working with offenders
• Believing his story
• Mixed feelings (e.g., pain, sadness, shame, loss,
  anger)
• Validating
• Holding him accountable
• The challenge to respect
• Client-oriented focus of therapy

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Power Dynamics
Vulnerable
Victim
Persecuter
Rescuer
Caring
Assertive
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Interventions

• Monitor personal biases
• Asking the question
• Note the importance of neutrality
• Listen and validate

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Interventions

• GOALS
• Expose violence
• Clarify responsibility
• Elucidate and honor resistance
• Contest blaming (pathologizing...) victims
• -Wade

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Interventions

• Invitations to Responsibility (Jenkins)
• Strength focus
• Assumption of positive values for relationships
• Language of Non-Violence
• Belief in clients desire for non-violence in
  intimate relationships

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Conclusions

• Domestic abuse isnt black and white
• Honoring the victim story can engage the client
  (when appropriate)
• Hold the client accountable
• Watch for power dynamics in the story as well as
  in the professional relationship

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Safety Planning (contd)

• Safety planning may look different for men
• Concerned more for emotional safety than physical
  safety time outs
• Her use of objects may make the house unsafe
• Monitoring personal messages
• Risk of police disbelief, seen/charged as primary
  perpetrator
• Are kids safe with mother?
• Taking kids perceived/reported as kidnap

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How YOU can help

• Know some resources
• Calgary Counselling 265-4980
• Wheatland Shelter (CCS) 934-6634
• MDAOP 691-5954
• Mens Crisis Line 266-4357
• CCASA 237-5888
• Kirby Seniors 705-3250

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Questions/Discussion
Jon McGregorjonathan.mcgregor_at_calgarycounselling
.com
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• References
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• Migliaccio, T.A. (2001). Marginalizing the
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• Statistics Canada, Canadian Centre for Justice
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