Welcome to Focus on Kids

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Welcome to Focus on Kids!
Art SchneiderHuman Development/Family Studies
Specialist M.U. Extension
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Welcome to Focus on Kids!
Art SchneiderHuman Development/Family Studies
Specialist M.U. Extension
3
Welcome to Focus on Kids!

• Introductions
• Opening video
• Video vignettes 1 2
• BREAK
• Video vignettes 3 4
• Evaluations

Art SchneiderHuman Development/Family Studies
Specialist M.U. Extension
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Session Objectives

• Understand the importance of consistent and
  supportive involvement by both parents
• Recognize childrens needs reactions to family
  change
• Learn about specific behaviors that are helpful
  in co-parenting situations and behaviors that are
  less effective
• Obtain information about additional resources

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Reducing Childrens Stress

• Children may be confused, frightened, and sad
  when parents separate.
• Have open, honest, and frequent communication
  with your children.
• Ask your children specific questions.
• Listen to what your children have to say.
• Tell children that parental conflict and divorce
  are NOT their fault.
• Tell your children that you love them.
• Let your children know that you will stay
  involved in their lives.

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Vignette 1

• Avoid criticizing the other parent in front of
  children.
• Avoid arguing in front of children.
• Plan how pick-up drop-off will take place and
  be willing to change the plan if needed.
• Reassure children that conflict and divorce are
  not their fault.

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Vignette 1, Continued

• Plan who is responsible for mealtimes that are
  near pick-up and drop-off times.
• Work out a plan for sharing childs belongings.
• Be ON TIME.
• Help children be ready on time.

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Vignette 2

• Take time for YOU!
• Develop a routine for transition times that
  allows children some down time.
• Accept that you cannot control the other parents
  household.
• Children need to feel loved and have consistent
  routines and responsibilities in each household.

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Vignette 2, Continued

• Get support from other adults, not children.
• Request change using I-messages.
• Limit discussions to one or two issues.

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Vignette 3

• Discuss issues directly with the other
  parentdont make child act as a messenger.
• Have a plan for dealing with unexpected expenses.
• Avoid discussing child support with children.
• Update your parenting plan when needed.
• If things get heated, reschedule the conversation
  for a different time.

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Vignette 4

• You wont be replaced if you remain involved.
• Avoid questions that make children feel like
  spies.
• Avoid using parenting time to control or get
  back at other parent.
• Consider new partners role before new partner is
  involved with children.

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Vignette 4, Continued

• Reassure children that its okay to enjoy time
  with the other parent and his/her new partner.
• Make time for just the kids.
• Introduce significant others and their children
  carefully.
• Consider how new relationships affect children.