Welcome to Midgetville

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Welcome to Midgetville

• One of the
• Wonders of the World
• Revealed

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The Legend of Midgetville
Midgetville is one of those places you never
really believe exists until you actually see it.
Its kind of like a nude beach, free drinks at a
bar, not having to pay for sex with someone you
met off the street, but its just as rewarding.
Many people disbelieve our stories about this
place, so it had to be documented and what better
way to do it than in a PowerPoint presentation.
So let the mystery be put to rest and enjoy your
visit to MIDGETVILLE
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The Sitemap
Use this to help you navigate around Midgetville.
All pictures were taken from the road indicated
in brown. The x is the rough location of the
houses which are always in green (regardless of
where the x is).
Note There is road that runs behind houses 11
12 that connects to the incoming road.
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A Gated Community?
Well, I see theyve tightened up security a bit
since I was last here. When was the last time a
gate kept me out of anywhere? Im not sure if
theyre trying to keep the humans out or the
midgets in? And if they were trying to keep the
midgets in, did they really expect that this gate
would keep them from escaping? Hell, they
probably just walked right out underneath it.
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The Road to Midgetville
Theres a path to the left and the road straight
ahead. Well go straight ahead. To the left you
can get to a few houses, but the road that lies
dead ahead is where all the action takes place.
Its just a short hop down the road to the
community.
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Our First Stop
House 1 Remember, the top of the boarded up
window is only roughly six feet off the ground.
Notice the trees on the sides of the house and
how thin the trunk of the trees are. (Note not
the two thick ones behind
the house) They are maybe only two inches in
diameter and tower over the house.
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The Party House
House 2 The red and yellow lights strung across
the front really schnazzed up the joint. By
adding them, the property value decreased.
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House 3
Notice the thin tree thats sort of between the
two windows. Rumor has it that when the midget
children would get grounded, theyd sneak out
this window, and climb down this tree to go out
at night.
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House 5 and its Evil Tale
In this house once lived a very deranged midge.
He wore tin foil on his big head because he
thought the tall ones were trying to steal his
thoughts.
One day, the voices just became too much told
him to kill himself. He came over to this window
with the curtains, climbed onto the ledge and
tried jumping to his death. He lived because he
landed on his big head.
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House 4A 2-Story Colonial
Thats right! Those windows you see are actually
on the second floor! And theres a nice screened
in porch. Ive sat back there and drank a few
half - pints of beer with the owner.
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House 7A Nice Cape Coda.k.a. Cape Crap
I walked through the door hit my head on the
rafter. Look at how big the door is compared to
the rest of the house. I guess they dont make
midget doors. Whens the last time you could run
jump into a house through the window?
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House 6Let The Truth Be ToldHow the midgets
came to be extinct
Heres a house from the other side of the street.
All the midgets died off due to an outbreak of
smallpox. (Alright, how many more small jokes
can I get in) I was a bit confused because there
are an awful lot of pool tarps, yet I never saw
one pool...much less a midge in a Speedo.
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House 8 - Waterfront Real Estate
Behind this house is water. Im standing on the
front porch. Notice how close my head comes to
the roof. Im not even fully standing up
straight because I was afraid to hit my head.
P.S. I dont think midgets suck.
In case your wondering who took the picture, I
got one of the midgets who still lived there to
take it he was pulling up to his house in a
lowrider. Actually, I set the camera on a 4x4
post that only stuck out of the ground roughly
two and a half feet. I bet it was probably used
for their mailbox.
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House 8 And Its Graffiti
Im squatting to get a feel for their point of
view.
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House 8 Continued
Just imagine laying out near the water next to
your beautiful house.
This probably has the potential to be a nice
piece of property. All youd have to do is
bulldoze down the house spray the area with a
big ass can of Lysol to get rid of midget germs.
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House 9Wow! Is this a really stimulating photo
or what?
I just took this photo as proof of houses on the
other street. Theres a nice picture of a dwarf
tree next to the stump and a midget bunny if you
can spot him. Alright, Im running out of funny.
At least I got in another short joke.
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House 10
You are at the gt looking at x.
The next few slides will show close ups of the
trash starting from left to right.
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House 11
Im not sure what type of house this is? Its
either a Rauncher or a Dump-plex.
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House 12
A Midget Mobile Home
This mobile home was towed here on the back of a
go-cart. I dont think its a double wide, but
its definitely a double high.
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The End
Hope you enjoyed your little visit to
Midgetville. Now you can provide proof to your
friends when they doubt the existence of this
elusive paradise. Before it was shut down and
boarded up, we used to get drunk, drive slowly
into Midgetville, blare our horns and yell fuck
you midgets as we tore out of there. Now, I
cant say that we ever saw someone chasing us out
of there because we didnt stick around long
enough. But in my mind theres nothing scarier
than being chased by a pack of midgets. Next
PowerPoint will highlight either Amputeeland or
Conjoined Twin Culdesac.
This has been a Club Habel Productions